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But I'm content to wait.
Mostly.
Some days it's hard and I feel lonely even surrounded by my companions. Today, though, it's all about Erzah and his beaming smile as he stares at the nondescript building. "So this is yours," I say, grinning at him. "Congratulations."
"Not yet, but it will be soon." His gaze isn't on me but the future cantina. "The custodians said they have to file permits and then an inspector is going to check out the building and make sure no one's done anything to it since it was declared empty."
"Done anything to it?" I echo. "Like what?"
He shrugs. "Apparently they had issues with contraband and squatters before the custodians were brought in. Custodian Ainar said it wasn't a big deal. Just that it'd take a few more days and then I'll be given the key code."
Then he turns to me and gives me an expectant look.
Uh oh. "What?"
"Brother..."
Oh no. Nothing good ever comes of a sentence that starts like that. "What is it?"
"I need your help getting the cantina up and running. I'm going to need someone reliable at my side, and you'd be the best bouncer imaginable."
Help him run the cantina? "You've already got plenty of help."
Erzah winces. "Yeah, I've got Jerzec, who will start more fights than he'll stop. I've got Aithar, who's completely green and doesn't know anything outside of the Scarlet Gaze. And I've got Zaemen, who was supposed to be with us today, but..."
"Forgot," I agree. Yeah, Zaemen tends to forget everything. He gets lost in his own little world sometimes. He's easily distracted by a lot of things, and especially distracted by pretty human females. The three of them do well with Lord Straik to keep them in line, but given free rein...? It could get messy fast.
"Right. Which is why I'm asking you." Erzah's look is one of quiet desperation. "It'd just be for a few months. Just until things get settled in and I can see how the others are handling new responsibilities. I need someone steady at my side. Someone I can count on. The others will listen to you. I can boss them around all day long and they'll ignore me, but the moment you say something, they listen."
I rub my jaw, torn. It's not that I don't want to help him out. Getting the cantina off the ground with him and the others could be a lot of fun, and I've been curious about what'll be next for all of us. Lord Straik isn't going to run a pirate ship any longer, which means he won't need more than a few hands to keep things running. I haven't decided what I'm going to do.
Mostly because of Ruthie. Wherever she goes, I want to go. My place is at her side. "I can't abandon Ruthie."
"You're not abandoning her," Erzah pleads. "It's just for a few months. She'll be on the ship with Lord Straik and Lady Ruth. There's nowhere safer for her."
He's not wrong. It's just that...I won't be there at her side. What if she needs me? True, she'll be with them, but I'm the one that guards over her. I'm the one that soothes her nightmares. "It's just that...I've sworn to be at her side."
"You think the others would let anything happen to her?"
"Well...no..."
"And haven't we a'ani sworn to help each other? To look after one another like we're brothers?" He puts his hands on my shoulders. "I am asking you to help me now. Just for a little while. You think a perfectly safe Ruthie can spare you for that long?"
When he puts it that way, it seems foolish not to help him. "I guess."
And Erzah does need me. We a'ani crew have sworn to have each other's backs, just because no one will look out for an a'ani quite like another a'ani. I'm responsible to help him. Over the years, we have promised that we'd help each other out. Erzah never asks for anything.
So I nod and clasp the hand he holds out for me. "When you're ready to open this place up, I'll be with you."
Even if I'll hate every moment apart from Ruthie.
CHAPTER
TWENTY
RUTHIE
My breast is driving me crazy. Absolutely freaking crazy.
It’s not that it’s painful. The numbing cream that Kaz got for me actually speeds healing, so it’s actually feeling good right now. It’s that the piercing has made my nipple super, ultra-sensitive. Every time it rubs up against something, it sends shockwaves of pleasure through my body.
And because my nipple is now more prominent thanks to the piercing, it’s rubbing up against everything. It makes the day pass unbelievably slowly, because I can’t concentrate. My breast is on my mind at all times, and so is Kazex.
He was going to rub my breast for me this morning. He was going to kiss me last night. Both times we got interrupted, and both times I retreated away instead of asking him to kiss me anyhow. To tell the others to fuck off and leave us alone. Instead, I let him leave, and I’ve been kicking myself. Why is it I turn into a coward the moment things get romantic with us?
