I want him to kiss me. I’m terrified of what will happen, but I do want to kiss him. I just don’t know how to get past this mental block that makes me so relieved when we get interrupted.
Instead of working on my mesakkah-language primer so I can read the screens on the ship, I daydream instead, staring off into the sunset while sitting at the comms table on the bridge. Dopekh is there, too, working his scheduled shift, but things are quiet. Things are always quiet now that we’ve parked on Risda III for a while. The weather is nice and the fresh food is awesome, but I know some of the guys are getting restless. Lord Straik hasn’t said what his long-term plans are yet, now that his wife Ruth is pregnant and he’s under increased scrutiny due to his mother’s arrest. A few of the a’ani crew are speculating that the ship will dock permanently and Lord Straik will give up the pirate life he’s been living.
I think that’s why Erzah is so excited about having a business of his own. He’s thinking ahead to the future.
It’s something I’m bad at. The whole “future” thing. Just wondering what comes next paralyzes me. What if?—
The comm chirps, interrupting my thoughts. I glance over at Dopekh. “You want me to get that?”
He nods.
I click on the button to accept the incoming comm and Erzah’s voice blasts through the bridge. “It’s mine!”
“Congratulations,” I call out, even as Dopekh rushes over. He taps another button to add visuals, and then we’re looking at Erzah’s face on screen. He’s radiant with happiness, his smile so wide it looks as if it’ll reach his ears.
Kazex’s face shoves into the picture as he grabs Erzah from behind and hauls him into the air, like a football player who just scored the winning goal. Erzah laughs brightly and the picture bobs, briefly showing Ruth-Ann’s amused face.
“We’re going drinking to celebrate and to spy on the competition,” Erzah announces. “Tell everyone to come down to Port!”
“It’s early,” I protest, laughing. “It’s barely even lunchtime!”
“So come down and have lunch and then we’ll go drinking,” Erzah says. The feed bobs again and Erzah straightens. Kaz shows up in the picture again, beaming with pride at Erzah and slaps him on the back, and my heart flutters at how handsome Kazex is.
I almost kissed that gorgeous man last night.
The feed ends and then Dopekh gives a huge sigh.
My skin prickles. Uh oh. Is…is Dopekh still in love with Kazex? I thought he was over him, but that sigh definitely has my senses on alert. “You okay?”
“I’m on duty,” he says woefully. “I can’t go drinking.”
I hold back a sigh of relief and smile at him. “It sounds like we’ll be there for a while? Who’s taking over for you later?”
“Sakkar.”
“Well, you know he’s probably not going to be drinking. Ask him to come take your shift early and join the fun.”
He brightens. “Are you heading down?”
“Soon.” Right after I fix my hair and makeup and find some way to pad my pierced nipple a bit more.
I don’t manage to make it down until after lunch. Part of it is because I don’t want to seem too eager to rejoin Kazex, and the other part is because Ruth is having a bad pregnancy sickness morning. I end up keeping her company while she hugs the toilet and alternately sips water. When she feels well enough to take a bath, I leave her in Straik’s company and change into my cutest top and then wait for Dopekh so we can go into town together, because I don’t like going anywhere alone.
“You think Salvotor is already down there?” he asks as we ride along the motorized walkway that snakes through the space port. Most of the space port here in Risda is actually outside, and it’s nice to enjoy the sunlight and the breeze while we’re being zipped along through the massive docking bays for the spaceships.
I must be a bad person, because I’m thrilled that he’s asking about Salvotor. “Probably. You know he loves a party.”
“And people,” Dopekh agrees. “And food. And flirting.”
Poor Dopekh. He’s such a romantic that he keeps falling for people that are all wrong for him. First he fell for Kazex, because, well, who wouldn’t? And then rumor has it that he fell for Lord Straik, who is married to my sister and quite happy with her. Now he’s messed up over Salvotor. Things between them are as messy (if not more so) than they are between me and Kazex. It’s not that Salvotor doesn’t like Dopekh. I think he does. But he also likes flirting. And he likes both genders. And he really, really likes living things up whereas Dopekh is a quieter sort. I have no idea if Salvotor even knows that Dopekh is in love with him, or if he just thinks they’re a fling.