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Evie is someone that I could have really loved.
And I let her slip away.
CHAPTER TWENTY
EVIE
“Are you really gonna tell him?”
Mickey’s voice is hushed, whispered over the divide between our two desks as if even on the other side of the office Nick might still be able to hear her.
“I have to,” I whisper back. I’m not taking any chances either.
“Do you?”
“It’s the professional thing to do.”
Mickey makes a face that suggests no amount of professionalism is worth sticking my head directly into the lion’s mouth merely a week after I deliberately stepped on his tail. But by now she knows better than to argue with me once I’ve made up my mind about something. It’s a quality I share with Nick.
Another reason we never would have worked.
Exactly seven days ago I left Nick alone in his ruined apartment, tears streaming down my cheeks before I even made it to the elevator. One long, miserable week where I wanted to just lie in bed and eat a pound of chocolate an hour and watch the great classics of romantic cinema — She’s All That, While You Were Sleeping, 10 Things I Hate About You. Unfortunately I have a job to do, one that I’d gotten to play hooky from for far too long in Europe.
One that reminds me of Nick at every turn.
How could it not? I’m essentially sitting in his front room. Everywhere I look I see his face; the moment I enter the lobby I can smell him on the air.
Of course, I actually haven’t gotten to see the man himself since that fateful day.
I don’t know if I’m annoyed or grateful that Nick hasn’t come to work since we broke up. After all, I have to, and it’s only fair that he should have to suck it up and come in miserable as well. But then I guess that’s the beauty of being the boss.
What I hadn’t expected was for his absence to send a shock wave through the office. Rumors had swirled all week, and his sudden appearance today has only stirred them up again.
Was he in legal trouble? Depressed over the Seafarer? Sick with a terminal illness? None of these were deemed important enough, as apparently Nick had never once missed a day of work in the history of the company. Business trips were one thing, even our trip with Kara which severely stretched the definition of the term. But for him to be in the city and not come in? Unthinkable.
He’d arrived at the office early this morning, before anyone else had come in. Nobody’s seen or heard from him; the only sign of his presence is that the glass wall separating his office from ours is tinted. He must be behind it somewhere. Nobody else would have dared go in there.
The office is on edge and not a lot of work is being done. A horrible comment, drifting over from the water cooler: “What if he’s dead in there?” The response? “If he is, he’s gonna be bones before anyone works up the nerve to knock.”
Little did they know that one person here does have the nerve. Though she is still trying to fully work it up.
Yes, I have some business with Nick. Business that I want to get over with as soon as possible. Something that doesn’t feel right saying in an email.
I’m leaving New York at the end of the week. Dan is sending someone new to replace me. Mickey will stay. And even though it tears my heart apart, I need to go and tell Nick in person.
I owe him that much.
My resignation shouldn’t come as a surprise. I knew it was inevitable even as I was traveling down in Nick’s elevator. How could we keep working together? When I know how he feels about me? When I know how he feels inside me?
When I’ve seen just how cruel he can be.
Because as awful as this week as been, I have no regrets about taking a stand in his apartment. What Nick had said to his brother had been absolutely horrible. I’d held my tongue in the past when Brent and Cheryl and others in my life had lambasted or degraded others. But no longer. I won’t put up with that kind of behavior from the people I love.
If Nick would have apologized instead of trying to excuse it, I might have stayed. But he’s a stubborn man, and it’s both the reason he’s found so much success and the reason he’s so alone. This is the man who proudly said apologies are weakness. He can’t admit when he’s wrong, and that’s just not the recipe for a sustainable future.
Like it or not, one horrible fight exposed significant cracks in our relationship. And it spelled the end for us.
Now there’s just one last step I need to take. I need to stand up, walk through those glass doors, down that long aisle like I’d done so many weeks ago, and tell Nick Madison that we won’t be seeing each other again. I told Mickey it was professional, but I doubt she was fooled. We both know this is deeply personal. I’m not quitting on a boss; I’m saying goodbye to a lover. And for all his flaws, or maybe because of them, I did fall in love with him.
