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Twenty years, and somehow I remember it like it was yesterday.
Ask me some mundane detail from my day yesterday and I won’t be able to answer.
But ask me what it felt like to be inside her twenty years ago, and I can still feel it like I’m there now.
Fuck.
I need to get out of here.
It feels like the walls are closing in on me, like I can’t breathe until I know where she is and what she’s doing. I’m not sure how I was able to set these feelings aside for the last twenty years, but they’ve come back with a vengeance.
I can’t deny it any longer.
I need to know who she is now. I’ve gotten tiny bits and pieces over the last two months, but I want it all. I don’t want her laughing with some other guy while she walks away from me when it should be me.
I realize the implications and the consequences thereof, but I’m starting to feel determined to figure out how we can make this work.
We have to keep it a secret. There’s no other way around it.
We have to be careful. Vigilant.
But I need to explore these feelings as much as I know she needs to, and right now it feels as if I can’t go another second without doing it.
Everyone’s done eating. Can I bolt?
I’m not sure.
I’m supposed to meet a few guys I played with after lunch. We’ll drink and catch up.
But they understand I’m a busy guy. Something came up.
My dick. For Jolene.
I won’t say that, obviously.
I say my goodbyes to the coaching staff after we wrap up the meal. I head toward the bar I told my buddies I’d meet them at, prepared to ditch them so I can be with her.
And just as I pull open the door to the bar, a text comes through.
Jolene: Calm down, Coach. I’m back at the hotel working. I’ll see you tonight.
I breathe out a sigh of relief as I allow those words to bring me back down.
I don’t know what the hell that was filtering through me, but it was intense.
But that’s us. It was always intense between us, even back then.
I shake it off as I head inside the bar and find my buddies. She’s back at the hotel. She’s in my suite waiting for me.
She needs time to get her work done, so I take my time. I have a few drinks as I catch up with guys I’ve known almost as long as I’ve known her. We bring up our old inside jokes, and we laugh and have a great time as we talk about the key plays we made way back when, each play somehow getting bigger and bolder like the old cliched fish stories grandfathers tell where the fish he caught gets bigger and bigger with every telling of the story.
None of these guys are still in the game, and everyone wants to know what it’s like working with Jack Dalton.
Eventually I note that it’s starting to get dark outside, and I’m ready to get back to my hotel. We all clear out together, and I walk the block toward my hotel. I take the elevator up to my suite, and I walk down the hallway with a thundering heart as it feels like our moment is finally, finally upon us.
I draw in a deep breath as I unlock the door, and when I walk in, there she is.
She’s typing something on her laptop, and her head swings over toward me as I walk in.
