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“Isn’t he fun?” Oli asked, pointing his thumb toward Jonah and sending a complacent smirk to the camera.
It was perfect. I couldn’t have imagined a better representation of their personalities in a single video. I clicked the red button to cut it there and decided I wanted to post it as is, with permission from all three. Before they stood, we snapped a few pictures of them smushed onto the couch and thought up a caption about behind-the-scenes shenanigans. One of the pictures and the video went up to the band account.
Oli and Noah stood and moved to their respective partners, and I sat down with mine. My hips sank into the seat as I let my legs fly up and land on Jonah’s lap. He received me with a hand on my knee, staring down at it as I got comfortable.
“What’s eatin’ ya, Jojo?” I was hardly being serious. I smiled as I tucked the front strand of his hair behind his ear.
He pulled his eyes away from his hand and looked at me. My expression fell as I peered into those green pools, realizing something truly was bothering him. He just shook his head and looked back down.
“Jojo,” I whispered.
He breathed deeply. Two seconds in, two seconds out. “It’s hard, sometimes, to be a person like me with a career like this.”
“Does that video bother you? We can take it down.”
“No, no.” He shook his head. His answer was convincing enough. “It’s not that. I was just thinking about what Oli said. People come up to me on the street and it makes me very uncomfortable. They ask me questions they have no right knowing the answers to. And I’m meant to be friendly to everyone, because if I’m even the slightest bit off, all three of us get a bad rap. I’m always off, Kai. I’m not friendly like they are.”
My eyebrows shot to my hairline. Did he really think so little of himself? “Jonah, you are friendly. Just because you’re a bit selective doesn’t mean you aren’t friendly.”
He tilted his head toward me, letting his eyeballs roll up to his lids skeptically in answer.
“I’m serious. Look how far you’ve gotten. You have five whole friends in this very room. For as long as I can remember, you only ever had two.”
“Before seventh-grade Spanish class, I only had one.” He smiled at me falsely, his gaze deepening somehow. I could practically see the very memory he was replaying in his head. I watched it from my own point of view, remembering the way he and Oli passed notes and how nervous I felt at the prospect of simply engaging in conversation with them.
“Can I tell you something super lame?” I asked.
He nodded.
“Ever since the day I met you, you’ve thought I was, like, the greatest person on the planet—”
He interrupted me quickly to say, “You are.”
“Jo, hush. You think I’m the greatest no matter what I do. And you’ve created a safe place, an entire world, for me to fuck up and learn and grow and know that, whatever happens, you’re not going anywhere. You’ve made me feel so cared for that my sharp edges have started to smooth over. Do you know how much that means to me?”
He observed me more closely than I think he ever had, exploring every inch of my face as the soft, genuine curve of his lips let me know that he believed me.
“My point is that whatever you are, Jo, transcends friendly. And not just that. I think you’re the greatest, too, whatever happens. So be rude, be nice, be whatever you need to be. And when you feel really bad about it, we’ll go home, watch a movie, and wait until it blows over. I’ll still be here. Not every part of this job is easy, but I’m really proud of you. You’re very good at what you do.”
Jonah’s hand lifted from my knee and wrapped the back of my head, his thumb grazing over my cheek as he stared into me. “I believe what you’ve just described is love, Kai.”
I chuckled softly. He almost looked like he was about to kiss me or something. Weirdo. “I wouldn’t know.”
He pressed his lips together and nodded as if he understood.
I suddenly got the strangest feeling. Those damn bubbles that I’d noticed popping up inside my gut as of late were back, and I was oddly aware of them.
My attention drew to his mouth as he whispered, “I want to go home and watch a movie now.”
Actually, that didn’t sound like such a bad idea…
“Nope!” A loud, obnoxious voice cut the thread of focus between us. “Can’t go home just yet! We’ve got a lot more work to do. Kai, baby, did you get some good shots?”
I turned to Justin reluctantly, sliding my legs off Jonah’s lap and sticking on a social smile. “I did. We got some good stuff of them recording, joking, and just hanging out.”
“Excellent, sweetheart. I love it. Love you. You’re amazing.” He held his hand down to me for a high five, and I reciprocated. As my palm slapped his, he wrapped his grip around my fingers and yanked me up into a hug. I yelped as I was forced to my feet and crashed right into him. “What an amazing addition to the team. Don’t you think, Jonah?”
I looked down at Jonah from my awkward embrace. He just stared at me. He stared at me in a way that… In a way that made me feel…something.
