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Home. She liked the sound the word made circling her mind.
With his mouth hovering enticingly near hers, her arms slipped around his neck and her lips parted in invitation, to him, to this, to there being a possibility of them. Longing, hope and promise danced, pirouetting and swaying her heart as she felt the sensation of his heart irrevocably catching hers. And even though she’d sensed it all along, now she knew without a shadow of doubt that he was a man who would always be there for her. No matter what. No matter the circumstances. And that’s right when she realised that she’d never, ever felt like this before. The explosion in her chest, this, that, he was her love. Connor Gunn was the one and only love of her life. Never had she possessed a raw need to own another, like she wanted to own him right this very second. Reality could take a back seat because for now, in this mesmerising moment, she wanted to show him just how deeply she loved him.
But then, just as she was about to climb onto his lap, so she could be even closer to him still, he stopped, pulled back just a little and smiled in a way that told her he knew exactly what she was thinking. And that drove her wilder still. Not only could this man scorch her skin with a single glance, a single touch, he also held a flame to her soul. He knew her, like no other, from the inside out. And he loved her for all that she was, all that she had been and all she was yet to be. And she, terrifyingly, excitingly, exhilaratingly, felt the same about him.
But you have so much to sort out, back in London, it could be months before you see each other again, and in that time you could drift apart, or he could meet someone else, someone better than you, or …
Sensing her hesitation, Connor brushed his lips over to her ear and whispered. ‘Don’t think, Sammie, just feel.’ Trailing his fingers up her back, he sent quivers to places she didn’t even know existed.
A shuddering sigh escaped her as she recognised she needed him just as much as she needed to breathe. And her silence was all he required. As he trailed his mouth down her neck, goosebumps rose as he gently tipped her head back and covered her throat with feathering kisses. Her pulse skittered, then pounded, then skittered again. His hot touch branded her skin as she melted against him, freefalling into the dizzying rush of sensation his slow, warm kisses were giving her. His fingers tangled into her hair, pulling her closer still. Gripping his shirt, she straddled his lap and her hunger for him became ravenous. She wanted him. All of him. Now. Always. Forever. She felt all the pieces of herself she’d pushed to the depths, and they rose, and bloomed like a sunflower turning towards the bright sunshine. All that mattered was this moment. And them. He took control of the kiss, as though he’d been starving for her all these years. And with the way he was touching her, kissing her, loving her, she believed wholeheartedly that he had been. Rising with her wrapped up in his arms, he carried her towards the doorway. She dropped her legs, and as her feet hit the floor, they stumbled backwards until her back came up against the wall.
His breath was ragged. ‘I’m sorry, Sammie, I should stop this now, before ...’
‘No, please, don’t stop.’ Samantha felt as if she was about to burst into flames. She didn’t want this to end, not ever. She reached for him. ‘Please, Connor, I want you, and I want this.’
‘But what is this?’
She cupped his cheeks. ‘I don’t know.’
Connor slowly shook his head. ‘I can’t, we can’t.’ He turned away. ‘Trust me, it’s better if we don’t take this any further, at least not until we talk about some important things, and how it would all work after that.’
‘Yes, I suppose you’re right.’ A vice tightened around her heart.
He shoved a hand through his hair. ‘I’m sorry, Sammie, I shouldn’t have made a move like that.’
Fraught, wanting to fix things so there wasn’t a weird feeling between them, she tried to chuckle. ‘Ha, yeah, we should have learnt better from the first time, hey?’ She didn’t want him regretting kissing her, and making light of it was all she could think to do right now.
But the look on his face was evident he didn’t find the comment funny, in the slightest. ‘Sammie, come on, we don’t need to go back there.’
Shame and embarrassment at her lack of tact made her cheeks hot. Then her voice of reason stormed to the forefront, firmly reminding her that she knew better than to act like some lovesick fool. Being reckless always got her into trouble and inevitably led to her being badly hurt. Angry with herself for not being the one to apply the brakes, she turned her back to him and bit back a sudden onslaught of tears. No matter how much she told herself she shouldn’t feel this way about him, she couldn’t help herself. And if she were being honest with herself, she still wanted him, more than ever. And she loathed herself for feeling so strongly, when she knew he was right. They needed to have some hard conversations before they took things any further.
‘Sammie, let’s not let this ruin the bond we’ve rebuilt, hey.’ Connor came to her side, his gaze beseeching as he brought his hand to her cheek. ‘You mean too much to me for us to part ways like we did the last time you left.’
Unable to form words in her tight throat, she nodded.
He opened his arms and she didn’t resist his kind-heartedness. She pressed her cheek to his chest as his arms came around her, remarkably protectively and a little possessively. If only she could stay. If only he could leave and come with her. If only they could meet in the middle. But it wasn’t that easy, they were no longer footloose and fancy-free teenagers with endless opportunities before them. His life was here, and hers wasn’t for the time being.
CHAPTER
20
The next day, after a sleepless night, Samantha tried to keep herself busy by doing chores. Grabbing the last of her clothes from the drier and then carrying the beautifully warm mountain through to the lounge room, she dropped the pile onto the couch. But before she folded everything, she did what she’d been craving to do since flicking her eyes open at dawn and grabbed her phone. It was time to set things straight. Heading outside and onto the sun-soaked verandah, she settled herself on the daybed. She was nervous to press Connor’s number, but like him, she didn’t want anything coming between them before she headed back to London. She craved to hold onto the hope that they might still stand a chance, if she could get her life sorted out. She wanted to have the conversations they needed to have, and what better way than to ask if he wanted to spend the day with her, so they could talk everything through when the right moment arose.
The ringing of her mobile as she was curling her legs up beneath her made her jump. She couldn’t help the smile when she spotted who it was. ‘Hey, you, I was just about to call you.’
‘Morning Sammie, great minds think alike.’
‘They sure do.’
‘So.’ His tone was a light and playful. ‘Why were you going to call me?’
‘No.’ She tipped her head. ‘You rang me, so you go first.’
‘Okay. I was wondering if you’d like to come over for a scoot around in the chopper, followed by that swim we’ve been talking about, but haven’t got around to yet?’
The hope she was barely holding onto flourished. ‘I’d love to.’
‘Awesome, I can come get you, if you like?’
