AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Me!” all five kids exclaimed at once.
“I bought ice cream yesterday and eggnog. Hurry and do the dishes, and your father will make each of you a bowl while I pour the glasses.” The kids each excused themselves from the table with the two oldest taking charge of rinsing the plates and loading the dishwasher.
They were a well-oiled machine. Each kid had their own task whether it was packing the dishwasher or taking everything off the table. In ten minutes, we all had a heaping bowl of ice cream in front of us with small glasses of eggnog.
“I love Christmas.” Nicolas burped after gulping down the liquid, a little eggnog mustache on his top lip. I grinned.
“Oh, me, too. It makes me so happy,” Maddi agreed.
“It’s my favorite day of the year – besides my birthday, of course,” Mason said, making us all laugh. This boy adored his birthday. He loved having everyone’s attention for an entire day.
The kids were talking amongst themselves, and I watched my family, taking in the perfect chaos of the table: the laughter from the girls, the teasing between the boys, and my wife who laughed at the children, her face beaming. We almost missed our chance of ever having this, and now, our hearts were beyond full, and our lives were mostly perfect.
Looking at everyone’s happy faces, I knew there wasn’t anywhere else I would rather be.
* * *
The kids were showering and getting ready for bed while Amber and I stared at the small pile of gifts hidden in the guest bedroom. “There’s barely anything here, Ryan.” Her brow furrowed as she paced the small room.
“It’ll be okay. They won’t notice. We will make this Christmas memorable for them in a good way, Ames. You know it’s not about how many presents are under the tree.” She had told me so many times that she didn’t want lots of presents because she had never been afforded the luxury as a child. All she cared about was that our kids were happy.
“They are so young. All they see is how many gifts they get. They don’t understand that it’s about family and spending time together. We haven’t shown them anything else. This is all our fault. We’ve spoiled our children.” I shook my head, roughly pushing a hand through my hair.
“We didn’t do anything wrong. We provided for our family,” I reminded her.
She snorted. “We provided for our family, Ryan? Our four-year-old is so entitled that she’s asking Santa for a freaking puppy.” She sank to the bed, her head in her hands.
“Okay, maybe we spoiled them, but the reason we are in this situation is because of my father, and I’ve told you countless times that I will fix this.”
She looked up, her eyes narrowing to slits. “You want to fix this by leaving us, Ryan – by reenlisting and leaving us for years. Have you forgotten what that did to us last time? The hell we went through when you got home?” I shook my head. I could never forget.
“I’m guaranteed good money with the army, Amber. I thought you understood that. I will come home in a couple of years for good, and my family will be taken care of. I won’t have to worry if the credit card will bounce while you are getting groceries, or if I can afford to keep the lights running in this house.” I gestured with my hands to the room.
She blinked slowly, crossing her arms over her chest. I knew this wasn’t going to end well.
“Do you really think I’m so shallow, Ryan?” Her voice was soft, barely a whisper as she slowly stood, her green eyes shining with anger. “Do you really think I don’t know why you are defaulting to the army?”
“I don’t know why you are fighting me on this decision when it means you and the kids will be taken care of.”
“Because I don’t want to lose you, Ryan! I don’t want to wonder if you are alive every day. I don’t want to be without you ever again!” She pushed past me, heading for the door of the room. She suddenly stopped. “I don’t want to be widowed, but most importantly, I don’t want our kids to grow up without a father.” She slammed the door behind her, and I sank to the bed where she was sitting and stared at the wall, at a picture of our large family.
There wasn’t another way. I had thought of everything, and the army was the best option. I just had to prove it to her.
* * *
“Daddy, do you think I’m a good boy?” Jeremy, Kennedy’s twin, asked as I tucked him into bed later that evening.
“Of course. Why would you ask me that?” He smiled, his little, white teeth flashing at me as his lips curved.
“I want to make sure. I love you, Daddy.” He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling my head to his chest. “I love you so much.” His innocent confession blindsided me just like it always did, and I fought the emotion clogging my throat.
“I love you, too, Jer – with all my heart.”
“Do you love me with all your heart, too, Daddy?” Kennedy piped up from her bed across from Jeremy’s.
“Of course, baby girl. Come give Daddy some love.” She sat up in her bed as I crossed the room to her. She jumped into my arms, tackling me with her love. My heart clenched in my chest. When I went back to active duty, I was going to miss this.
“I love you more, Daddy,” she whispered, brushing a sweet kiss to my cheek.
