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Claire
I wasn’t sure if Sawyer would actually show up to work on the cabin. He seemed off last night. Or maybe it was just me. I was panicky, assuming that noise meant a bear was in the basement. In hindsight, I can see that I was overreacting. But when he showed up and seemed so concerned, I felt vulnerable and needy, eager to melt against him and let him solve all of my problems. And when he looked at me with that hungry stare, practically disrobing me with his gaze, I started to forget why leaving the realm of curiosity to fall face-first into desire was a bad idea.
He hesitated, too, telling me Jason could come by and offering to handle my repairs himself. I want to assume he was simply willing to spend more time with me, but as what? For a hope of seeing me in another robe? And if so, is that such a good idea?
Hooking up with a man is the very last thing I need to do. It would be nothing but a rebound, seeking physical comfort and wanting to scratch an itch after Owen’s breaking up with me. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I just know it’s not a remedy for anything, and my life is in need of a lot of fixing.
Considering a fling with someone like Sawyer was even more of a reach. In his rugged work clothes and those filthy smiles that suggest such wicked delight, he’s the opposite of anyone I could really bring into my life. He couldn’t stay in my bed. He wouldn’t fit in with the circles my mother expects me to linger in. Sawyer is the opposite of everything I should want to have in my life. Knowing he’s so forbidden lends him a mysterious, sexier air, but it also derails me from even contemplating anything more than a guest-and-contractor arrangement.
I can’t choose a man to make mine forever in the name of love. When Lauren, Aubrey, and Marian were talking about me yesterday, I fought to keep the truth quiet. I couldn’t explain how my mother has ruined my hope of settling down with a man for the sake of my heart.
And I can’t hide here and entertain flings with someone like Sawyer, either. It would get me nowhere, and knowing a true future is impossible makes the entire effort of seeking happiness seem like nothing but a waste of time.
Fortunately, I don’t have ample time to sit and dwell about the rut I’m stuck in. Nor can I afford the freedom to marvel at the way Sawyer does show up. He gets straight to work, beginning with the leaking kitchen sink. Instead of ogling me again and tempting me to think about his hands on me—wearing jeans and a plain t-shirt helps there—he’s diving into loosening and switching out pipes and pieces. Unlike the work he completed on making that new road for Dalton, Sawyer’s not overly loud and obnoxious within my space.
He becomes a fixture, a familiar face and presence, and just knowing he’s here and cares enough to carve out the time in his busy work schedule to fit in this cabin’s repairs comforts me. The laundry list of things I pointed out last night weren’t life or death. I didn’t take Dalton’s offer to stay here with the guess it would be equal to a five-star hotel experience. But it will give me peace of mind to know some steps are being taken to make this place more tolerable. At least that fan’s squeakiness. That sound was unbearable.
With Lauren’s decisions yesterday, I’m more honed in to what I’ll likely need to make her dress dreams come true. Now that I know how much it matters to her that she picks her own dress, I feel more pressure on my shoulders to make it absolutely perfect. Which means this day is turning out to be a wild goose chase of locating all the materials I’ll need. Searching online is a tedious process, but I start to feel hope when I realize a few shops in Denver should be able to help me out. I still don’t have a rental, but I can get one. The drive isn’t something I’ll look forward to. After so many years in Paris, I’ve fallen out of the habit of driving in America—not that I ever had much experience with it at all. Mother insisted on drivers, claiming the act of operating a car herself was beneath her.
I roll my eyes. “Wonder what the drive time…” I mutter aloud as I type on my laptop.
“Drive time?” Sawyer pipes in from the kitchen. The island where the sink is located stands in the middle of the room, giving me a full view of his progress. “Where are you going?”
“Near Denver.” Mostly. Some of the places are scattered around there.
“You’re looking at an hour, hour and a half for the drive.”
I huff. More than that. I still need a better sewing machine that can handle this job. “Plus all the time spent there.” When I was younger, I used to have a better sense of wanderlust. Not anymore.
“Interested in some sightseeing?” he guesses.
I frown, pausing from my search. “No.” I shake my head, curious what Dalton told him about me. “This isn’t exactly a vacation for me.” Getting a change of scenery sounds like a vacation, but focusing on making Lauren’s dream dress isn’t.
“It’s not?”
“Nope.” I start looking for places to stay nearest the bigger store I’ll have to stop at. No way am I driving all the way to Denver, then hurrying back after a lot of time on my feet shopping. “I just finished my class for my BFA in Paris before I came here.”
“BF what now?”
I smile. “Basically, a bachelor’s of fashion arts. I also took the required coursework for their bridal design program.”
He grins, glancing up at me. “So that’s what all those sketches were about.”
I nod. I wonder what he thought they were for when he saw them the other day. I haven’t forgotten that he said they were detailed and spoke of my talent. While I know his level of critique is far different than what my clients could say, I appreciate his kind words.
“And what does a fashion designer do way out here in the mountains?” he asks. “If your calling is in a fancy shop in Paris…”
“I’m here to design Lauren’s dress, but my calling isn’t just in someone’s shop.”
“No?” He raises his brows as he tightens the faucet again. “Where would you work then?”
I stare for a moment too long at his forearms as he tightens the wrench around the metal.
“Claire?” he asks when I don’t reply, jarring me from staring.
“A few boutiques were interested in my portfolios before graduation. One has given me a chance to complete an apprenticeship with her at her shop. It’s supposed to begin this fall.”
“That’s great. Having an apprenticeship is a great way to secure work experience on your résumé.”
