AllFreeNovel
Share Us
That was my exact thinking. “Or not.”
“What do you mean?”
“Designing Lauren’s dress is work experience outside my education. But I’m not sure I’m completely confident in my ability to do this apprenticeship or to work for anyone else. My dream has always been to open my own bridal shop. To offer my own gowns.”
“Then why don’t you?”
As soon as his question hits my ears, I clam up. I tense and hold my breath, unprepared to answer. The reply should be straightforward. I’m not opening my own bridal shop because I lack the capital resources to do so. I don’t have the money I feel like I should, and the only way I can get it is to jump through the hoops my mother insists on. I have money of my own. I inherited it after my father died, but I cannot access a single penny of it until my mother approves it. The only way I see that happening is if I marry a man she chooses, and that will end with nothing but hell for everyone involved.
Telling someone like Sawyer doesn’t feel right. He’s got to be unfamiliar with trust fund drama like this, and having to explain my mother’s motivations will likely make this easy companionship awkward. I don’t want his pity, and I know he can’t help me or save me from this situation. I have a hunch he would be a good listener, but it’s easier to skirt around the whole subject about my mother and the money she’s holding over my head.
“One day, I will,” I tell him instead, wishing it could be true.
My deepest desire is to unlock it all. I can’t figure out how she changed the stipulations of the fund to work against me, but she’s got it secured and unreachable. Even Dalton is limited on finding out the details, that’s how tight she is about the money from my father. Besides, I never had the guts to tell him about it. My cousin is a smart man who can make things happen, but I hadn’t felt the hard force of my predicament until now. For years, I shoved that worry to the back of my mind, knowing I had to get through school first. Now that school is done, though, this dilemma consumes me. I can’t dismiss it or put it off any longer, and I wonder if it would help or hurt if I open up to Dalton about it. He’s no miracle worker, but maybe he’ll have some ideas of how I can handle my mother and the way she lords over the trust fund that should be mine.
I can’t consider giving in to my mother. That’s not an option, even though I feel powerless. I simply can’t stomach forfeiting my goal of having my shop. Of being able to give women like Lauren a chance to make their dreams come true on the most important day of their lives.
Sawyer doesn’t push after that, and when he gets a call from someone on his crew who’s working elsewhere for the day, I tune him out and focus on mapping out how I can get what I need as soon as possible. I never had to hunt for materials at school, and I’m learning just how challenging this phase is in the real world.
“I’m done for the day,” Sawyer announces, pulling me out of my searching and negative musing.
I glance at the clock and realize the entire afternoon has flown by. Stretching my back, I nod at him.
“I’ve got to meet a few guys in town. We’re getting drinks.” He gathers his tools, preparing to go.
I stand, following him as he heads toward the door, envious for a brief moment that he’s so secure in his life and with his friends that he never has to worry about having someone to kick back with.
At the door, he faces me with a small smile. “Want to come?”
His words sound so simple, but they punch me with a brutal force of excitement. Do I? Hell, yes. But the opposite leaves my lips. “No, I better keep working on finding materials.”
I could kick myself. I’m not sure why I turned him down. It’s second nature to reject invitations. For so long, I made sure to have no life because school was my life. Now, though…
Why did I say that? Because he’s getting too close? Because it’s harder to remember why I should resist him?
I hate the feeling of regret that washes over me. Just because I’ve got no business starting a fling with him doesn’t mean I can’t cling to the tiny shreds of friendship he’s offering, does it?
Before I can change my mind, he dips his chin and opens the door. “I’ll pop in every once in a while, as my schedule allows. You know, to continue bringing this cabin up-to-date.”
“Thanks.” I hold the door and watch him go, torn with the idea of missing him already.
He’s not mine to have or miss. But what I wish I could have with him scares me even more because I know better than to dare to think with my heart and wish for anything lasting.
Chapter 12
Claire
“I can’t wait,” Lauren tells me as she leaves the cabin. She takes my hands again and squeezes them tight. Her eyes are glossy with unshed tears, and I hold back on the pity. This woman doesn’t need my pity for the reminder of why choosing her final design for her dress is such an emotional experience. Of course, it’s a memorable moment. What she needs now is my encouragement and determination to make it happen.
And I will. Somehow.
“Me too, girl. Me too.” I’m absolutely itching to get my hands on some proper fabric. New bolts of material to test the feeling of it and examine the thread. More samples of lacework. Different styles of beads and adornments. It’s been so long since I’ve held anything. Sketching and imagining a design on paper is only half of the experience to get to the phase where the real magic can begin.
I’m overdue to plunge into a project, and I’m eager to make it happen.
After Lauren leaves, I do my best to prepare for how the creation of this dress will take over all my hours. It’s going to commandeer this living room, too, but not yet. Too many pieces of furniture stand in the way. I need to figure out better lighting options. I also need to check how I can move that longer table from the dining room to the area over by the front door. Light is critical, and I already know I’ll need another heavy-duty work lamp.
Brace yourself, Caleb. The spending is only beginning.
