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Aubrey
The morning I shared with Dalton at the hotel feels like so long ago. When we stayed in bed, snacking on breakfast and watching his dumb golf, it felt right. I felt like I was where I was supposed to be, with him and having a good time doing nothing special. That morning, I didn’t have a worry on my mind, and I hadn’t felt pressured to sleep with him again either. We’d gone at each other all night, and it was a nice change of pace to just be. Our companionship was easy and natural in a way I seldom felt with others. I appreciated that he didn’t put me on the spot again, demanding to know what we were officially doing, but I know he still wondered.
In the days since we came back to the bed-and-breakfast, I’ve been staying busy. Marian has me running errands, and other than that, Lauren and I have been chomping at the bit to fix the orchard that was destroyed in the storm.
Even though Dalton and I aren’t alone together, and not really near each other around others, I can tell that something is wrong. Something has shifted since that perfect morning.
Simply put, Dalton is acting weird. He’s not outright avoiding me like he was before, but he’s not seeking me out, either. Every time he seems to come close enough to chat, he hesitates. It’s as though something weighs on his mind, but he doesn’t know how to say it.
This is nothing new. Dalton tends to struggle for words around me, and when he does end up blurting something out, whatever is on his mind, the honesty of it shocks me. Maybe I intimidate him and that’s the cause for his fumbling speech. In the past, Lauren has suggested that I might be “too much.” That when I deal with children, some of whom are entitled and bratty, I’ve learned to have a stiff backbone. Some might think that’s intimidating, but I doubt, and hope, that’s not the case with Dalton. If anything, any intimidating characteristics I show him seem to challenge him in a good way. I can’t explain it, but when we don’t see eye to eye, we both thrive on the contrast of opinions.
I’m not aware of what he could be hiding from me, and the unknown has me feeling like I’m standing at a precipice. I have no idea how to tell him how I feel. It should be so simple. It should be nothing more than speaking the truth, and honesty has always been my motto. With him, though, the stakes are too high. I haven’t experienced such a deep connection with anyone as I have with him, and I’m afraid of the possibility I would never find it again with anyone else, should I lose it.
I’ve never allowed myself to let anyone into my life. After my parents passed away, I didn’t wish to experience that cutting pain of loss ever again. It was easier to put walls up and not let anyone matter. That way, I didn’t have to worry and wonder when the day would come that they wouldn’t be in my life anymore. My habit of not letting anyone close remained surefire until I met Dalton. Actually, until I met Lauren. She was my sister from another mister, and she was the first person I let into my life—only to worry Jeremy would end up taking her from me.
Since Lauren fell in love with Caleb and basically rearranged her life to be with him out here, we haven’t been chatting like we used to in college. I’ve been keeping too much from her, and right now, I really need to confide in her and get some sisterly advice about my life. About Dalton, too. It’s past time for me to come clean with her and tell her what Jeremy did. She deserves to know about the loss of my job, because in the time I’ve witnessed her and Caleb here, I know he’ll help her from feeling guilty about the situation.
Today’s the day. I’ve got to spill it all and have a good conversation about it. If I don’t, I might combust with having no one to talk to.
After I give Marian the few grocery items that she sent me out for, I spot Caleb and Dalton talking outside. I don’t want to be anywhere near them when I talk to Lauren, and I’m glad she’s not there with them.
“Marian, do you know where Lauren is?”
She glances at me from the fridge. I wouldn’t dare put anything in there. Her “system” is impossible to decipher, all the way down to her arrangement of goods in the fridge. “I think she’s at her cottage. She said something about it being her laundry day.”
Then that’s where I’ll go.
I take the longer route to reach the larger of the two cottages on the property. With this lengthier path, I have a chance to glance at the orchard as I pass by. Most of all, it gives me a way to avoid going near Dalton and Caleb. They seemed to be talking about something awfully serious under the shade of that tree. Dalton closed his laptop, and both men seemed deep in thought.
Maybe he’s acting weird because of work? He won’t be here much longer.
I don’t dwell on the thought. Remembering that Dalton has a life away from here stings, and I wonder if Lauren is sensing the same thing. Even though Caleb is more or less living here, he still needs to travel to the city for work. I’m not sure how she’ll handle his absence after being with him all the time. They’ve made their lives one, and I know she’ll be lonely.
All the more reason for me to stay and cheer her up.
I find Lauren in the cottage, and Marian is right. My friend is deep in the throes of laundry, and by the enormity of the pile she has yet to fold, I realize she might have let this chore go for too long. I knock on the door and let myself in after she spots me. “Do you not have a routine for this? Or did you just get behind?”
“I just got behind,” she admits with a smile. “Marian tells me to use the bigger washer and dryer in the basement that she uses for guests, but I don’t feel right doing that, so I use the little one here and let it all pile up. Besides, I kind of like folding laundry and don’t want to rush it.”
I raise my brows at her pile and pick up a shirt to fold. “It doesn’t look like it. It looks like you’ve been avoiding it.”
“Well, I’ve never had a habit of doing this before. I think it might take some more practice to perfect it.”
I nod, understanding what she means. It’s another difference between us. She’s never done household chores because her family had hired help, whereas I had to teach myself how to do it all along. No one taught me how to really fold and wash my clothes, and I’m glad she finally has Marian as a motherly figure in her life.
“But I bet you didn’t come here to talk about laundry. And speaking of avoiding…” She shoots me a knowing look. “You’ve been avoiding talking to me.”
“Maybe.”
“Well…” She doles out another knowing look, and it gives me the courage to just speak up already. If not courage, she gives me guilt. She’s probably suspected Dalton and I are hooking up. Both Lauren and Marian were teasing me about him already, and I feel sheepish for keeping things from my best friend.
“Well…Dalton and I slept together.” I cringe. That sounds so tacky. “We hooked up a couple of times,” I amend. That doesn’t sound much better.
“I knew it!”
“How?” My cheeks heat up. “Did you hear us at the hotel?”
She giggles. “Caleb did. I was already asleep. Aubrey, I’m so excited for you!”
