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Paige hooks her arm with mine and we walk out in front of the guys. Stopping at the counter, I get my appointment for the ultrasound scheduled and the script for the prenatal vitamins she wants me to take. We head back out to the truck. Hawkeye helps me in the backseat before walking around to get in the other side from me. Ricochet helps Paige get in the truck before getting behind the wheel and starting the engine. We all decide to go out for dinner before I get dropped off at the trailer.
All through dinner we talk about what happens moving forward. I have tonight to pack what I need to take with me to the house. I’ll be staying there for almost a year before I’m able to come back to the trailer. The only thing I really need to bring with me are the clothes I’ll be wearing and any important papers I don’t want to leave behind. My important papers always come with me no matter where I am. I won’t leave anything to chance and have something happen to certain documents I have in my possession.
When Ricochet and Paige drop me off after eating dinner, they both give me a hug once more and let me know they’ll pick me up first thing in the morning. For now, the four of us, Lyric, and Kevlar will be the only ones who know about this. When I’m further along, we’ll make an announcement. Until then, I’m going to keep this secret and do what I have to do to deliver a healthy baby for the couple.
Hawkeye doesn’t come in tonight. I honestly wasn’t expecting him to after telling him that I needed some space from him. It hurt more than I thought it would to hear his bike start and ride away from my trailer. Instead of letting myself cry over what’s going on with Hawkeye and what I’m losing without having him in my life, I start packing my clothes into the few suitcases I have tucked away in my closet. When I get done with that, all of my paperwork goes into the backpack that I’ve kept it in for a long time. Ever since my mom passed away and I got a ton of shit from her that I need to keep for a certain amount of time.
When I finally collapse into bed, I let the tears fall and curl up around the pillow that Hawkeye has used when he’s been here. Not that he ever stayed for long once we got done having sex. But it smells like him and only makes me cry harder. Tonight is the only time I’ll let myself cry for the man I love more than anything. Tomorrow is all about moving on with my life and keeping my focus where it needs to be—having a healthy baby for Paige and Ricochet and opening up my shop while giving Lyric a job.
Chapter Thirty-One
Hawkeye
TARA’S NOW PREGNANT with my brother’s baby. The pure joy and excitement I got to witness on Ricochet’s and Paige’s faces is the best thing I’ve ever seen. Tara gave that to them. She’s making it possible for them to have a family of their own and it’s the kindest act I’ve ever seen another person do for someone else. Yeah, they’re friends but she still doesn’t know them as good as she should. They haven’t been friends for years with an unbreakable bond. She met them a few months ago and immediately stepped up to do this with no questions asked. It just makes me realize all over again what a truly amazing woman she is and how bad I’m fucking up right now.
Last night I couldn’t sleep so I went out for a ride. It was the first night Tara was staying at the house and I couldn’t be there knowing she was so fucking close yet so far away. I heard what she said about needing space from me and I get it. It’s just not easy when everything in me is telling me to go to her and make her mine. To tell her that I’m being a dumbass and that I need her in my life and that she’s more than a piece of ass I’ve been having a good time with. Tara’s never been just a piece of ass to me. She’s always been more and it scares the absolute fuck outta me. Now, I can’t see her, hold her, or be there for her the way I want to. I can’t comfort her when being pregnant is too much for her and I won’t be there to hold her hair when she gets sick. I’ll be watching everything from the sidelines.
With everything going on, we decided as a club to leave Tara’s car parked at the trailer. We want Lucifer and his skank to think she’s still living there and that we haven’t moved her. Since I couldn’t sleep last night, I wanted to make it seem as if everything was normal and just have a way to be close to Tara without her knowing about it. So, I went to the trailer so I could hang out there for a while. When I pulled in, there was a bike sitting in the back of the parking lot under some trees. The trees there are thick enough that the moon hardly shines there and there aren’t any lights that shine in that corner of the driveway.
The only reason I even knew the bike was there is because my headlight reflected off the bike when I pulled in. Still, I made sure I didn’t act as if I saw it because I wanted to see what they’d do. I parked by Tara’s car, shut my engine off, and made my way in her trailer. Yeah, I made myself a key to her place for nights just like this when I show up in the middle of the night. I didn’t want to wake her up when I was on my way to the trailer when I have much better ways to wake her up. More often than not Tara woke up with my head buried between her thick thighs as she dug her fingers into my hair and pulled. Best fucking feeling in the world when I’m going down on her.
I stood in the living room, not turning any lights on for a few minutes. It didn’t take long for the bike to start up and take off. The trailer park is right next to the entrance of town. The bike immediately headed out of town which leads me to believe Lucifer has moved his attention from Paige to Tara. If he can’t get to either Paige or Lyric, then he’s going to move on to someone close to them in his desperate attempt to get the girls to go to him. Taking Tara would be one way to accomplish that shit. I make a note of the biker being here and know I’ll be back every night to see how often the biker shows up at Tara’s place. I’m glad Tara isn’t staying here on her own any longer. She’d be scared shitless and that’s the last thing she needs right now.
I’m going to have to keep an eye on her place because of what happened at our house a few months ago. Whoever brought the note in, they trashed Paige and Ricochet’s house. That’s why they were there so long that day. I wasn’t about to have my brother or Paige walk into the house to find everything destroyed, piss on the carpets, food tossed all over the kitchen, and so much else damaged because Lucifer’s a bitch and can’t get out of his own head long enough to realize he’s never gonna get his hands on anyone here again or that he can’t beat us. We’re too strong and have more numbers on our side than he’ll ever be able to get.
Pulling up to the clubhouse after staying at Tara’s last night, I park in my spot at the front of the clubhouse and shut my engine off. I make my way inside to find Tara sitting at a table with Paige, Lyric, and Kasey. They’re talking and laughing about something as I walk through and head straight for Venom’s office. I want him to know about the biker now even though I’ll be keeping an eye on things before we bring it up in church. There’s no reason to talk about it when I’ve only seen the fucker one time. If I see him hanging out around our shit again, then we’ll bring it up in church and make sure everyone knows to keep their eyes looking for anyone in town we don’t know.
Knocking on the door, I wait for Venom to answer me. I won’t ever just walk in his office. So many others have done it and walked in to him fucking Vanessa or her sitting on his desk as he has his lunch. That’s not a mistake I’ll make.
“Come in,” he calls out after a minute.
Opening the door, I find him sitting behind his desk with Vanessa in his lap. Yep, glad I knocked based on the looks of his woman. Her hair’s fucked up and she’s breathing out of control. I interrupted them and not a single part of me cares.
“Need a minute,” I tell him knowing he’ll realize this is important and that Vanessa can’t hear what I’m about to say.
“Why don’t you go to our room and get ready for me. I’ve got time to disappear for a while. I’ll be there as soon as I’m done talkin’ to Hawkeye,” Venom says as he lifts Vanessa from his lap and kisses her before she leaves us alone in the office. “What’s so important that you had to interrupt my fuckin’ lunch, Hawkeye?”
“Couldn’t sleep last night and went for a ride. You know Ricochet just moved Tara into his house for safety reasons. We didn’t want her out on her own when we don’t know where Lucifer is. Not after the note that was left on their front door a few months ago. She’s a friend and in the process of openin’ up a business under the club. Well, I went to her trailer last night. Pulled up and a biker was sittin’ in the back of the driveway where he wouldn’t be seen if someone wasn’t lookin’ for him. I only saw him because my headlight was reflected off the bike and we’re all on high alert,” I tell Venom as he looks at me while sitting up straight in his chair.
“Lucifer’s gonna go after fuckin’ Tara because we’re not gonna be lettin’ Lyric or Paige off the compound. He thinks she’s gonna be an easy fuckin’ target because she’s not an ol’ lady. He doesn’t realize we protect friends of the club just as much as anyone else. Stupid fuck!” Venom yells out, slamming his hand on the desk in front of him.
“I’m gonna head to Tara’s place every night around the same time so no one thinks anythin’ is different. See if I can get this fucker to make a move. They already tried to take out my fuckin’ brother so who’s to say he won’t do the same with me. Though, he actually had the numbers behind him when Kevlar was taken out,” I tell my President knowing he won’t say much about things because this is how I am.
When I see a problem, I take care of it anyway I see fit. If I feel like I need to be the only one to keep an eye on this situation for now, he’s gonna let me do it. When it becomes a situation that I need backup for, we’ll talk again and change it up. Bring in Otter and a few others first before the rest of the guys.
“Alright. This shit isn’t gonna happen. I want men on all kids and women of the club. None of them leave unless it’s absolutely necessary. We’ll make shit work at the businesses without them there. Tara’s gonna have to fuckin’ go to her shop though because she’s still puttin’ the final touches on it. We won’t let Lyric go with her for right now. I’ll bring all the ol’ ladies in after lunch and make sure they know what’s goin’ on. Do you wanna be the one to tell Tara? Didn’t even know you two were a thing,” he questions me, a smirk on his face.
“We’re not a thing,” I deny, my voice rough as I lie to my President.
“Sure you’re not. You’ve obviously been fuckin’ her. If you’re in her trailer then you got a key to her place. Gonna guess she knows you have it but you didn’t get it from her. You’re not as slick as you think you are, Hawkeye. We all see the way you fuckin’ watch her when you think no one’s watchin’ you. She’s the same fuckin’ way with you. Claim that woman before it’s too fuckin’ late and someone else gets in there. Tara’s a good woman and I know plenty of guys here are still single and see what kind of woman she is,” Venom states, shocking the hell out of me because I didn’t think I was that obvious about that shit.
Yeah, I expected my dad, Ricochet, and Kevlar to notice shit. I didn’t expect everyone else to realize shit’s going on between the two of us. No, I wasn’t trying to keep her a secret or anything like that. I just don’t want my personal business out there for everyone in the fucking world to know.
“I’ll pull Tara aside now. I really don’t wanna tell her this shit, but I’m gonna have to. Go enjoy your lunch and I’ll let you know as soon as I have more information,” I tell Venom, turning to leave his office.
“We’ll protect her for now, but if this shit continues, I’m gonna have to put it up for a vote for someone to claim her. There’s some single guys here from Clifton Falls and Dander Falls. They’d have to be willin’ to make the move here since she’s almost ready to open her shop. Or, I mean, we’ve patched in some Prospects the last two years and they’re still single. I could see Tara with either Riggs or Kountry. Don’t know why the fuck you won’t step up and claim her, but that’s on you, Hawkeye. I’m gonna do what I have to for the club and everyone involved with us. Tara is more than a friend of the club and I’m gonna make sure she’s taken care of,” he informs me, stopping me in my tracks just as I reach out to open the door so I can leave and go find Tara to talk to her.
I don’t want to fucking think about another guy getting close to Tara. She’s mine. While I understand where Venom is coming from, I know I won’t sit in church and let another man claim Tara. He’s not saying this shit to force my hand or anything like that. We typically don’t protect those who aren’t ol’ ladies of the club. The only exception to that shit are the women staying in the clubhouse still that we took from that fucking asshole Horton. Without saying anything in response, I leave the office and head back to the common room.
