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“There’s no reason for us to hang on to it, Paige. I’m happy at the house with Kevlar. We all have our own space there and there’s a common area. Plus, it’s not like you and I won’t be spending a ton of time together anyway. It’s time for us to move on. To let go of the past and that part of our lives,” she tells me, a smile on her face. “We had some good times there for sure. But that’s not home anymore. Not for either one of us. Our home is wherever our guy is. That’s what I believe.”
“I agree with you. Today’s a day for change and moving forward it seems,” I tell her, busting to tell her about the surrogacy.
“What else is going on?” Tara asks, leaning forward on the table.
“I called about my frozen eggs. They’re still good after all this time. Ricochet and I aren’t gonna wait. We’re going to start the process now for finding a surrogate and taking the steps in the process so we can have a baby,” I tell them both as a smile breaks out on my face.
“Are you serious?” Lyric questions me, excitement shining in her eyes.
“Yeah. It’s going to take a while to put everything in place. We’re going to have to really check out anyone we might use as a surrogate. Neither one of us are just going to blindly trust someone we know nothing about. That’s going to take the longest time to get through I think. We’re going to make sure we find the perfect girl for this and not just the first one of a list of names we get. If that’s even how it works. I think we need to get a lawyer and shit too. There has to be some kind of contract in place so we don’t get fucked over,” I tell the girls as we’re brought our drinks and told our food will be right out.
“I’ll be a surrogate for you,” Tara says after taking a long sip of her drink.
My head snaps up to look at her and I don’t say anything for a minute. I’m waiting for her to start laughing or say she’s kidding, but she doesn’t. She just looks back at me and waits for me to respond.
“Are you serious right now, Tara? Do you even know what the fuck you’re signing up for?” I question her, my voice coming out a whisper as tears fill my eyes.
“Yeah. I carry your baby for you. I know there’s things I’ll have to do and appointments I’ll have to have before it all becomes official or anything like that. But, I’m right here in town, you see me all the time, and there’s no reason why I can’t help you guys have a family. I don’t know why you need to use a surrogate, but that’s okay. If this is something I can help you with, then I want to. As long as you and Ricochet are okay with it,” she answers, a smile on her face as the waitress drops off our plates and leaves us alone once again.
“I’ll talk to Ricochet. Tara, I have no words for you right now. This is fucking huge. You have no idea what you’d be giving us. And I’ll say that I need a surrogate because we were in a car accident a few years ago. I had to have surgery and they needed to perform a hysterectomy because of my injuries. I wasn’t even nineteen when it happened. For years I’ve not dealt with it or thought of being able to have a family of my own. All I knew was that I couldn’t have kids in a traditional manner and it fucking broke me. So, I’m finally working through everything with that and seeing a counselor,” I tell her, knowing there will never be a way I can repay Tara if she does this for us.
“I’m so sorry, Paige. I don’t even know what to say and I can’t imagine what you’ve been dealing with. I want kids of my own for sure, but right now, I don’t see that happening. So, helping you is a way I can experience pregnancy before I have my own kids. I might even think of using a sperm donor in a year or two for a family of my own. A lot of women do it these days and I don’t have a problem being a single mom. I was raised by a single mom. It won’t be easy, but I’ll make it work,” she tells us, her voice letting my sister and I know this is something she’s really thought about.
“I don’t think you’ll end up needing a sperm donor, Tara. I’m sure there’s a man closer than you think who will give you a baby. He just needs to pull his head out of his ass and open the fuck up,” Lyric says, her voice a whisper as we see the guys watching us.
Ricochet looks at me with concern filling his face. He wants to know what we’re talking about because of something he sees in my face. With a subtle shake of my head, I let him know I’m okay and that he doesn’t need to come over to see what’s going on. This is a conversation we need to have in private.
“Why don’t you come over to the trailer for dinner tonight? We can sit down and talk to Ricochet about this and find out what he thinks. We’ll be packing everything up, so I’ll warn you now not to mind whatever mess you may walk into,” I ask Tara as we continue eating our lunch.
“I can do that. I’ll help pack up if you want. I don’t have anything to do tonight. I’ll be back at the shop tomorrow to accept some deliveries, but that’s not until late morning or early afternoon. There’s no reason why I can’t lend a hand to you guys,” she answers, a large smile on her face.
“And please know you can back out of this at any time, Tara. I know it seems like a good idea right now, but if at any point in time you decide you can’t follow through with carrying a baby for us, there won’t be any hard feelings. I know it’s a lot,” I tell her, knowing deep in my heart I’ll be upset, but I won’t ever be able to hold this against her because it is a huge deal and she’ll be the one going through everything to help us out.
“I’m not going to back out, Paige. I know that it’s going to be an emotional rollercoaster, but I’m okay with that. The plus side is that I get to see the baby after he or she is born. Unless you don’t want me to have any contact at all. If that’s what you guys decide, then I’ll stay away,” Tara rushes out to say as I look at her.
“I’d never ask you to stay away from my baby, Tara. If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. We’ll talk with Ricochet tonight and see what he has to say,” I repeat, smiling at her as I continue eating my cheeseburger.
I don’t know what the fuck Haley seasons these with, but they’re the best I’ve ever had. The three of us continue talking while finishing our food. We laugh and have a great time. Telling her about what happened to me didn’t bring down the mood at all. If anything, it only made me feel closer to Tara.
When the waitress comes over to take our plates away, she lets us know our check has already been taken care of. The guys paid our bill so the three of us take out some money to leave a tip before the guys join us at our table. We all leave and instead of getting in the SUV with Lyric and Tara, I get on the back of Ricochet’s bike. Wrapping my body around his, he pulls out and heads for the trailer. I don’t know what we’re going to pack everything up in, but I’m sure we’ll figure it out. For now, I have to tell him about Tara’s generous offer and see what he has to say about it.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Ricochet
DINNER LAST NIGHT was one of the best meals I’ve ever had. Not because of the meal itself but because of one selfless woman. Tara is willing to be a surrogate for Paige and I and doesn’t want anything in return for doing this for us. She’s even willing to leave the baby alone if we’re not comfortable with her being around him or her after they’re born. I would never keep her away from our child. Not only because she is hanging around the club, but because she doesn’t have to do this for us. Tara wants to have a family of her own one day and yet, she’s willing to put that shit on hold for us. I was so damn close to breaking down in front of her when we were talking about everything, but I held it together. Barely. Now, we have to start taking the next step in the process. Part of that is getting a lawyer to draw up a contract between all of us so we all know what’s going on before, during, and after the pregnancy.
Tara is going to make an appointment with Doc to get checked out and make sure everything is okay for her to move forward with being our surrogate. I called Doc when she was here last night and she has worked with surrogates in the past so she knows what needs to be done and checked. I can’t fucking believe this shit is really happening. Our baby won’t be more than a year younger than Kevlar and Lyric’s triplets depending on how long it takes for this to work.
That’s another thing we talked about with Tara. Paige told me she told Tara that we wouldn’t hold it against her if she decides to back out of being our surrogate. And we won’t. This is a huge thing she’s doing and if it becomes too much for her at any point, I don’t want to force her into going through with it. Lyric really likes Tara and I can see my girl forming a really close bond to her as well. Even if she weren’t doing this for us. So, I’m not about to do anything to ruin it for either one of them. I’ll thank her for her willingness to do this so we had someone we could trust and then move on and find someone else to be a surrogate.
The evening ended with all of us talking and laughing together. Tara helped us pack the trailer and we made a lot of progress on it. I’d say maybe one more day and we should have everything ready to move. Paige doesn’t want to bring any of the furniture with her and we’ve shopped online at one of the furniture stores a few towns over to get everything we want for our house. It should all be delivered in a few hours. Kevlar is going to be there for the delivery and knows exactly where I want everything to go. So, that’s one thing taken care of.
“Baby girl, where are you?” I ask, walking through the trailer with nothing more than a pair of sweatpants slung low on my hips.
“In Lyric’s old room. I’m packing it up for her. She can’t be here doing this and I don’t want her to be here when she doesn’t have to be,” she tells me, her voice full of emotion as she holds something of her sister’s.
Walking in the room, I see her sitting in the middle of the floor with a stuffed animal in her lap and a picture in her hands. She’s staring down at the picture and doesn’t even see me. Paige is lost in a memory and that’s okay. It’s good for her to think of the past as long as she’s wearing a smile on her face like she is right now.
