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“This picture is from when our dad was still alive and happy. Our mom was alive and at work. Lyric had begged and begged to go to the fair so she could ride some rides and eat cotton candy. She was a daddy’s girl and he couldn’t ever say no to her. So, he had been saving up for weeks to have enough money to take us to the fair. It was the only time we ever went. Lyric rode so many rides and laughed through every one of them. She ate her weight in cotton candy too. I chose to not go on anything and only had a few small bites of her candy. I wanted her to have as much fun as possible. We had someone take this picture of the three of us. It’s one of the last times our dad smiled like this,” Paige tells me as I walk up and sit down behind her.
Wrapping my arms around my girl, I hold her while looking over her shoulder at the picture she’s holding. She’s so little in the photo. Both girls are. Their dad is larger than life as he stands over them, a grand protector of his daughters. He’s looking at both of them with eyes full of love and the largest smile on his face. This family might not have had much, but they had one another and gave each other nothing but love and support. I can see that from this picture. It honestly makes me hate their mother even more than I already did. She completely destroyed this family in every way possible and has taken so much from these girls. I can’t wait until we find them and someone gets their hands on her.
Together, we pack up Lyric’s room. Paige handles taking care of anything personal while I carry the boxes out for her. I dismantle the furniture so it can be donated since Lyric doesn’t want any of it either. The girls decided to donate everything they’re not taking with them to some program that helps low income families and the homeless. The truck and volunteers will be here shortly to get all the furniture so that’s what I’ve been taking care of. The beds and everything else are in the living room so it’s easier to get out and the volunteers aren’t here for longer than necessary. Hawkeye and a few others will be here too. I don’t want to take any chances and have some asshole sneak in that’s working with Lucifer. It could honestly be anyone at this point and we wouldn’t have a clue until something happens.
When Lyric’s room is packed up and all the boxes are removed, Paige cleans it from top to bottom before leaving and closing the door behind her. I watch as she rests her forehead against the door for a minute. This is hard for her and I didn’t think it would be easy. She tried to act as if she wasn’t going to have a hard time letting go of this trailer. It’s the only home she’s ever known because she made it a home. Paige filled this space with nothing but love and made it safe for her little sister. Everything inside these walls was done for Lyric and I know she’d do it all over again if she had to choose. That’s how I know my girl is gonna make an amazing mom to our kids and I can’t wait to see her become one no matter how it happens. And it only makes me love her even more because of the woman my girl is when she truly opens herself up and lets you all the way in. Hopefully more people get to see this side of her and know exactly what kind of woman she is one day.
Hawkeye, our dad, Rage, and Bull are here to help us get everything already boxed loaded up into a few trucks. They’re also helping us pack up the rest of the stuff in the trailer that’s not been packed yet. Each guy takes a room and listens to Paige’s directions before touching anything. Rage and my dad are packing up the kitchen. Everything but the food is getting packed up to bring with us. Tara’s going to take the food and we’ll get groceries later today. If everything goes to plan, we won’t be in the trailer after today. Everything will be moved out and we’ll be at the house where we belong. Hopefully Tara doesn’t remain in the trailers for much longer either. She doesn’t know it yet, but when she gets pregnant, she won’t be living here. I’m not going to risk her or my unborn child. I just hope she’s okay with that part of the contract because it’s not negotiable.
The guys came from the place the furniture was donated to and picked it all up. They were in and out in a matter of minutes with all of us helping them. None of us wanted them here for very long so we made the offer. Paige got a receipt for her donation and then the guys took off with a full truckload of stuff for their cause. Paige felt good about it and that’s all that matters.
Hawkeye and I are working in the room Paige was using. There’s not a lot left in here to pack up, but it’s going to give me a chance to talk to him without everyone else around. This is a private conversation I need to have with him.
“So, I gotta ask you somethin’. I don’t wanna know for my own reasons either. There’s a situation that’s come up and I have to know if you’re gonna be okay with Tara bein’ around for a very long time?” I ask Hawkeye as he helps me finish packing the room up.
“Why the fuck would you ask me that? I don’t give a fuck what she does or doesn’t do,” he protests, his voice hard and I know there’s more to their story than what either one of them are letting on.
“Paige can’t have kids. She was in an accident and she had to have a hysterectomy done. They froze her eggs and Tara has offered to be a surrogate for us. I’d rather know she’s not gonna be upset or stressed when she’s carryin’ our baby because of whatever the fuck is goin’ on between the two of you,” I tell him, letting him know why this is important to me.
Hawkeye hangs his head and doesn’t say anything for the longest time. When he looks up at me again, I can see the pain in his eyes. He’s upset about something and I hope he tells me what’s going on with him. I can’t help if I don’t know the situation.
“I’ve been fuckin’ her for months now. That’s all I’ll let it be. I haven’t let her get too close and leave as soon as the sex is over with. I’ve never spent the night with her and I always come here to her trailer. I don’t want anyone to know about it. Not because I’m ashamed to be with her, but because I don’t think I can give her what she wants. What she deserves. Tara is fuckin’ amazin’ and I don’t know why I can’t just let her in. I’m not like you and Kevlar. I don’t want an ol’ lady and kids of my own. I’m the damn Enforcer of the club and that’s my role. If I bring a woman and kids into my life, that paints a target on their backs. That’s not a risk I’m willin’ to take, Ricochet,” he answers me, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Brax, our women and kids are gonna have a target on their back regardless of what role we have in the club. Hell, some of them have targets and it has nothin’ to do with the club at all. So, I don’t know why you’re lettin’ that shit hold you back. If you wanna be with Tara, I’m in full fuckin’ support of it. But, I won’t have you playin’ fuckin’ games with her, Brax. You’re either all in with her movin’ forward, or leave her the fuck alone. I’ll be puttin’ it in the contract that she lives with us once she’s pregnant. I don’t want her on her own so she’ll be at the house every fuckin’ day. I know you don’t have to be there and can stay at the clubhouse. So, you have to figure out what the fuck you want when it comes to her,” I state, looking at my brother because I know he’s going to make a decision just based on what I’m telling him and that’s not what I want if it’s gonna have him make the wrong choice.
“Chance, she’s fuckin’ perfect. My match in almost every way. She’s honestly a lot like Lyric and Paige with how independent she is. And she knows what she wants. Hell, she’s not afraid to tell me what to do when we’re havin’ sex. That’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever had happen. The woman isn’t even pushin’ for anythin’ more either. I know she wants more with me, but she hasn’t said a word about it. She’s about to be done with me though. I can tell every single time we’re together. She’s gettin’ distant and rolls over as soon as I pull out of her,” my brother says, looking completely dejected at the thought of her being done with him.
“Well, then I guess that’s your answer about what you want to happen between the two of you. Talk to her and give her a chance. If she’s your perfect match, then there’s really no risk of you gettin’ hurt by her. I know that’s the real reason you’re not givin’ her a real chance. Did somethin’ happen that we don’t know about?” I ask, needing to know the real answer as to what’s holding him back.
Again, Hawkeye hangs his head and I watch his eyes slide closed. He takes a few deep breaths before he finally looks up at me. I know whatever he’s about to tell me no one else knows. Hawkeye really tries hard not to keep secrets from Kevlar and me, but there’s been a few times when he’s held something back from us for whatever reasons he came up with in his mind.
“In high school I was datin’ this girl. It was her idea to keep our relationship a secret because her parents didn’t want her datin’. They wanted her only to focus on high school and getting accepted into a certain university. At least that’s what she told me. When we started Prospectin’ for the club our senior year, we were still together. She started askin’ all sorts of questions about the club, what I was doin’, what happened at the clubhouse, and all sorts of shit like that. Still, I didn’t think anythin’ of it and just told her I couldn’t talk about that shit.
“One day, she gave me a note to meet her in the locker room at the end of the day. She had to talk to me about somethin’ important. I went to meet her and she told me she was pregnant. I was so fuckin’ excited. While I didn’t ever want kids, the thought of havin’ one with the girl I loved seemed like the right thing to do. So, I told her I’d be there for her and we’d raise our baby together. That as soon as we graduated, I’d marry her. None of that was good enough though. She wanted an in with the club. Not even as my ol’ lady. The bitch wanted to be a club girl. She wasn’t pregnant and was only usin’ me to get with the club. I gave her my fuckin’ heart and two years of my life. It only reinforced the decision I’d already made not to have an ol’ lady or kids of my own. I knew you and Shawn wanted kids so I figured bein’ an uncle was good enough. I’d still be around kids who shared my blood and I didn’t have to have any of my own,” he tells me as my heart hurts for my brother.
“I had no clue, Brax. Why didn’t you fuckin’ say anythin’ after it happened?” I question him, not moving any closer because that’s the last thing he wants.
“Because I felt like a fuckin’ fool. I let that bitch play me for two damn years. She stole that time from me and I’ll never get it back. While the rest of you were out fuckin’ every girl who looked in your direction, I was with her and only her. I loved her more than I ever thought I’d love another person in my life. I mean, a person who’s not family. I didn’t want any of you to know what happened because I’d be the laughin’ stock of the club,” he answers, his voice wavering with the hurt coursing through him.
“I wouldn’t have told anyone, Brax. Neither would Shawn. We would’ve kept your secret and helped you deal with the pain you were in. You’re so damn stubborn and sometimes when you feel you have to deal with somethin’ alone, it’s the last thing you should be dealin’ with alone. Did you learn nothin’ from what we all just went through with Paige. She felt the need to keep what happened to her a secret and deal with it alone. She never dealt with it and it led her to believe I’d leave her the second I knew she couldn’t have kids like most other women out there,” I tell Hawkeye as I continue to pack up a box of things we took out of the nightstand last night.
“I know. I don’t want to deal with this on my own, but I didn’t know how to tell you either. So, I just kept it to myself. Maybe I’ll talk to Tara and see what she wants to happen between us. Tell her where my head is about everythin’ and come to a decision that works for the both of us. I guess it’s the only thing I can do,” he says, looking over at me.
“I agree with that. It’s a good decision. Just do what makes you happy, Brax. Don’t hold back because you can’t get out of your own way. Tara’s a grown ass woman and wouldn’t play games like that with you. She’s been to the clubhouse so you already know she’s not gonna use you for a way in with the club. I don’t really believe she’d ever want to be a club girl either. That just doesn’t seem like the kind of person she is. If she wants to be with you, it’s because of what she sees in you. Not because of what you can give her through the club or because of the club. And I know she wants a family of her own. Plans on usin’ a sperm donor or some shit like that. So, she’s not gonna trap you by tellin’ you she’s pregnant when she’s not. The woman has done her research and knows what she wants out of life,” I tell him, not bothering to keep that to myself because I think it’s important for him to know where she’s at before he goes into having this talk with her.
Looking at my brother, I see how hard his face is. His entire body is full of tension and I know he doesn’t want Tara to use some random sperm donor to have a baby of her own. Hawkeye is a lot easier to read than he believes. It could just be because he’s my triplet and I know him better than most. But, I’ve known something is going on with Tara and him for longer than a lot of other people. Maybe not Lyric and Paige, but most everyone else.
We finish packing up the room and take the boxes out to the trucks with the rest of them. Tara’s on her way to our trailer to help and I laugh quietly as Hawkeye stops and stares at her. Yeah, he’s got it bad for her. I leave them alone so they can either talk or come in the trailer. There’s still more than enough of us here to get the packing done and the trucks loaded up with everything if they decide not to help and have that talk now. Walking inside, I find Paige watching them through the window in the living room. She’s got a smile on her face as I step up behind her and hold her in my arms. We don’t say a word to one another as we finally turn so they can have some privacy. Things are going to work out for all of us. There’s not a doubt in my mind.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Paige
THE LAST TWO weeks have flown by. Tara and I have gotten lawyers to work on the contract for her being a surrogate for Chance and me and we’ve spent every single day together. We talk about the process, Doc clearing Tara to be our surrogate, and what needs to happen moving forward. Ricochet talked to Tara about moving in with us too. Not right away, but once she’s pregnant. He doesn’t want her living in the trailer on her own where something could happen to her. She’s agreed to stay with us for safety reasons and I’m glad. There’s still something going on with her and Hawkeye but she really hasn’t said much about it. I’m thinking it’s because Ricochet is always around and I won’t pressure her to talk in front of him. That’s a girl talk topic only.
Today is an important day for us. We’re meeting with our lawyers to go through the contract and make sure everything is covered in it. Then, we’ll all sign our names on the dotted line. Before we leave to meet at the lawyer’s office, I’m working on unpacking all the boxes from the trailer and getting our house in order. Right now, it’s a damn mess and I can’t stand it. Ricochet has been helping me, but it’s taking way longer than I thought it would. Maybe because I’m so damn excited about being a mom and knowing that we’re so close to it happening. It’s hard to focus on other things because of that. Plus, I’ve been picking up extra shifts at the diner because people are calling out or just not showing up for work. I can’t stand those people. Haley’s so nice and they take advantage of her.
“Baby girl, where did you want to put Lyric’s stuff? Is she takin’ it in their house or does she want it to go in one of the storage rooms?” Ricochet asks me, walking into the bedroom where I’m sitting in the middle of the floor.
