Deep down, she was deathly afraid that she’d lose him all over again when the night was through.
The idea of telling him made her cringe. Touchy-feely stuff like this was Penn’s department, not hers. But she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to do this at all if she didn’t saysomething.
“Holly?” Eli brushed a lock of hair away from her face. “Talk to me.”
She turned away from him, trying to figure out how to explain all of this without sounding weak or needy.
“I’m feeling really anxious,” she said finally, sitting down next to him. “This isn’t like me. Sorry. I realize this is a total boner killer.”
“No. Talk to me. Why are you anxious?”
Holly closed her eyes, gathering up the courage to say what needed to be said.
“The last time we slept together, you walked out of my life, and I don’t want that to happen again. I know you aren’t going to disappear because we have to work on the article, but I don’t want to go back to... I just don’t want things to be awful or awkward between us. And I don’t want this to ruin everything, including the chance for us to be friends again.”
Eli scooted closer to her and cupped her face with his hands, his gaze locked with hers. “Listen to me. I wouldn’t ever do that to you again. I’m here right now because I thought you were walking out of my life, and I couldn’t bear to let that happen. I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a fool. Sex or no sex, I need Holland Marie Wilkes in my life.”
She blinked, touched at the sincerity of his words, but she couldn’t help the snort of laughter that escaped. “Eli, my middle name is not Marie.”
One side of his mouth kicked up in a sexy smile, and he dropped his hands. “No?”
“No.”
“What is it? I should probably know the middle name of the woman whose world I’m planning on rocking later tonight.”
“Isabella,” she said, then laughed. “Wait, what do you mean, later?”
“I mean let’s order some pizza and watchThe Hangover.” He nodded toward the screen where the movie was on pause. “We have all night for other things, and we’ll get to them.”
“Eli Donnelley wants to wait?” she asked, cocking her head. Holly placed a hand on his forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”
He laughed. “I feel fine. But I know you came here tonight to kick back, right? There’s no reason we can’t do both.” He pulled out his cell phone. “Okay, what do you want on your pizza? And don’t say pineapple or anchovies because you’ll break my heart.”
He was obviously doing this to help her to relax, and honestly, she was grateful. She’d have thought he’d be interested in getting down to business as fast as possible, so this was a surprise.
“Let’s see... pepperoni, red peppers, and mushrooms. With extra cheese.”
“That’s my girl. You want wings, too?”
Holly smiled. “Bring it on.”
* * *
An hour and a half later, they were camped out on the bed among a mess of pizza and chicken wing boxes. Eli had also ordered a six-pack of bottled water, bread sticks, and an array of dipping sauces for both the pizza and wings.
They’d watched the movie, which was still playing in the background, laughing and reciting lines from their favorite scenes.
Maybe it was sad to admit, but she hadn’t laughed so much in a really long time. Who would have thought she could be having this much fun with Eli, just sitting around doing a whole lot of nothing?
It reminded her of the days when they would hang out in his room, binging Netflix. And she’d seen glimpses of the man she remembered tonight, too. It made her happy, knowing that maybe the best parts of him were still there after all.
“Okay, these wings are way too spicy.” Holly fanned her mouth after taking a bite. “Did you get extra hot? I’m going to have a hole in my stomach by morning.”
He snorted and handed her a bottle of water. “There’s mild ones in the box on the left if you’re going to be a wuss about it.”
“Wuss? Eli, my lips are on fire! This is insane.” She guzzled some of the water, then fished a piece of ice from the bucket on the nightstand and ran it over her lips. “Mild wings only from here on out.”
Eli grinned. “Wow. My image of you as this tough badass is totally blown.”