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I stare at him, speechless, and see the rage and despair in his face.
“He spent a while searching for Frances and learned that she’d died. He totally flipped out, and I was lucky to get away without any injuries. Anyway, he seems to have completely lost his mind now.”
“But he’s still alive?”
Noah nods. “He ran away.” He takes another deep breath as he dwells on the gloomy memory. “I figured it would bring me some satisfaction to see him suffer when I told him the news. But in the end, I just felt sorry for him. He’s lost the only person he cared about, the only person who looked out for him and didn’t give up on him. Who would have thought I could feel empathy for an ovlem?”
“He’s only human, and he’s been through some tough times.”
“Anyone who deliberately uses dying breaths to increase their own power is ultimately weak,” Noah retorts. I’m surprised at his harsh tone. “He knew what would happen, but like all the others before him, he refused to believe it. I’m strong enough; I’ll be fine, they all tell themselves. And in the end, they all come unhinged.”
I keep my comments to myself. I can’t understand why those people are left out to fend for themselves. Nobody tries to help them. They’re simply ostracized and cease to exist from one day to the next.
“It must be hard for you,” I say instead. “Having to come to terms with Frances’ death and at the same time being treated like shit by the Assembly members…”
He runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head. “I can handle that. My own guilt is harder to deal with.”
It was the same for me with Ty, and I still think about him a lot. It’s something I’ll always carry, and maybe that’s how it should be because I couldn’t forgive myself if he began to take up less space in my thoughts and my heart.
I look at Noah and sense how much he’s changed recently. He’s harder, colder, and somehow more distant. Right at this moment, I wish I could be there for him. But there’s this barrier between us that was never there before. He’s erected a wall around himself to help him deal with all the horrible things that have happened. And it seems that even I can’t get through it.
“I’m sure your family will come around eventually. All these years, you’ve always done things your way. I can’t see that changing in the future,” I add with a wink.
“I hope so,” he says. “I tried talking to my mother again.” He pauses and avoids my eye. Another thing that never used to happen between us. “She was pretty upset when I questioned her about the pregnancy. Said it was a difficult time for her that she doesn’t want to be reminded of. But I refused to let it go and kept probing, asking if she was unwell before the Tempes attack, if she visited any doctors who treated her during that time.”
I look at him expectantly. The disappointment is written all over his face. And there’s something else too – he doubts his mother.
“She got really angry and yelled at me. Why was I asking all these weird questions? Said she didn’t want to talk about it. That it was all too painful for her.” He wrestles with himself and seems unsure whether to voice what’s going through his head. Eventually, he reaches a decision and says, “I think maybe Kate was right. My mother’s hiding something, and maybe Ayden really is my brother. But I have no idea how he could have wound up in the care of the Tempes and why they claim his parents were attacked and killed by Noctu. But I’m pretty sure about one thing: there are secrets surrounding our births. He might actually be my twin.”
I hold my breath because although I share this suspicion, it’s quite another thing to hear it coming out of his mouth.
“What will you do?”
He shrugs. “I’m not sure. But I’ll find out the truth one way or another.”
“Maybe,” I say hesitantly, knowing he probably won’t like my suggestion, “it would help if you talked to Ayden? You might find out more if you both exchange the information that you already have.”
Noah shoots me a dark look that speaks volumes.
I sigh. “If he’s your brother, you can’t avoid him forever.”
That idea seems to make him pretty uncomfortable. His expression becomes even more opaque, and he frowns angrily. For a moment, he seems to be about to ask after Ayden – how he’s doing or how much contact I have with him. Then he runs his hand through his hair, and his eyes brighten a little as he says, “I’ll think about it. But enough about me. How are you? Have you found out any more about this test?”
I take a deep breath and tell him everything I know so far. Noah is anything but happy about it. His eyes simmer with anger and worry.
“And you really want to subject yourself to that? If the school principal has to hunt for information on the test, then that just shows how unprepared the Council is. Did they say how many times they’ve set this test in the past? I bet it’s the first time. And those passages from the books you photographed… it all sounds really cryptic, as if some Tempes has tried to analyze and understand the test. It sounds to me like nobody really knows much about it. If you ask me, it’s too risky.”
I can understand Noah’s misgivings. I’ve had similar thoughts.
“Mr. Cunningham assured me I won’t come to any serious harm. And I can’t exactly say why, but I believe him. He always seems pretty sincere; he’s never snooty with me, and I have the feeling that he respects me as a person.”
Noah raises his eyebrows doubtfully. I know what he thinks of the Council, so I guess he doesn’t trust my judgment here.
“What choice do I have? I can’t pull out of this.”
“Why not? They can’t force you.”
I look at him in astonishment. Is he serious?!
