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As soon as I could, I pulled Ember away from my family and headed home. My hopes were crushed when I didn’t see Hanna’s car parked in front of my cabin. Would she meet someone while she was out who didn’t have the same baggage I did?
“I miss Hanna,” Ember said as I was tucking her in.
“I do, too,” I admitted, knowing honesty was the best policy at this point. “Would you be okay if I started dating? If I met someone and took her out on dates?”
My heart was pounding in my chest. Usually, I’d research the best way to broach the subject with my daughter, maybe even consult with the therapist I’d talked to in the past, and then ruminate over it some more. But I sensed I didn’t have much time before everything blew up in my face.
Ember was quiet for a few seconds. “I want Hanna to be my mom.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding. “Are you serious?”
“I love Hanna.”
My heart contracted in my chest. “I love Hanna, too. Would you be okay if I dated Hanna?”
Ember’s eyes widened slightly. “Everyone loves Hanna. She lives with us, and she takes care of me. It makes sense.”
Ember was appealing to my practical side, and I knew she saw things differently as a child. I knew Hanna was the one for me. “That makes me feel better because she’s the one I want to be with.”
“Are you serious?” Ember asked me, the sleepiness gone from her voice.
The muscles tensed in my shoulders. “I wasn’t sure how you’d react to me dating.”
Ember frowned. “Hanna was meant to be part of our family.”
Goose bumps erupted over my skin, and a tingle shot down my spine. “I think you’re right.”
“Night, Daddy,” Ember said when I fell silent.
I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead one more time. “Good night.”
I slipped out of her room, leaving her door ajar. When I stepped into the hallway, Hanna stood there. Instead of talking and risking the chance of waking Ember, I threaded my fingers with hers and pulled her down the hallway to my room. I closed the door behind us. “Did you hear our conversation?”
Her eyes were suspiciously bright. “Just the last part.”
I stepped close to her, pleased she’d heard my declaration to Ember because it felt right. “I want you, and I’m willing to tell everyone about us. But I’m not sure if you feel the same way. If you want to go back to how things were”—I swallowed hard—“I’ll have to be okay with that.”
“Is that what you want?” Hanna asked, her brow furrowed.
“Fuck no. I want you, and I want everyone to know you’re mine.” I’d been holding back, but I didn’t want to anymore. I wanted Hanna in my life.
“I want you, too.”
It was like an invisible cord was drawing us closer. I couldn’t resist the pull. My mouth slammed into hers, and her lips parted on a gasp. It was like everything I’d ever felt was rushing through me at the same time.
I wanted her, and I didn’t have to hold back. I didn’t have to wonder about the what-ifs. For once in my life, I wasn’t going to analyze the potential side effects. I would do what felt right. And being with her like this was the most real thing I’d ever experienced.
Her hands were ripping at my clothes as I stepped into her, forcing her backward toward my bed. As we moved, I pulled off my shirt and shoved down my pants. I wanted nothing between us. Not my reservations or her walls. It was just the two of us bared to each other.
“I want to see you,” I said when I was naked, and she was still dressed.
I forced myself to move slowly, and my hands shook as I lifted her sweater over her head. “You’re so beautiful.”
My heart ached with the intensity of my feelings for her. If I thought our relationship would be tame or safe or predictable, I was wrong. It was wild and crazy and free.
She reached around to unhook her bra, letting the straps fall down her shoulders while I unbuckled her jeans and pushed them over her hips.
Her nipples were hard points, her chest heaving, as I slid to my knees, hooked my fingers around the lace straps of her panties, and tugged them down with me.
