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Amelia’s face scrunched. “If it doesn’t feel right to you, then—”
“I don’t want to say anything about it until after the holidays. He asked for time, and I promised I’d give him that.”
“Yeah, but aren’t you falling for him?” Amelia asked, concern etched across her face.
I sighed. “I think I’m already gone for him.”
Amelia reached across the table to squeeze my hand. “Well, of course, you are. You’ve been half in love with him your entire life. You were friends first, and it sounds like there’s physical chemistry, too. You didn’t stand a chance.”
“You should see him with Ember. He’s the best dad. I admire that he’s trying to protect her, but I just don’t know how long he intends to keep us quiet.”
“What’s he protecting her from? Other than worrying she won’t want her dad dating someone.”
“Her mother. She’s not been much of a factor in their lives, but she comes around occasionally.”
“What does Ember’s mother have to do with your relationship?”
I shrugged. “My impression is that the stress of Brandy showing up keeps his life feeling out of balance. He likes his routine.”
“And what, this relationship with you is throwing him off balance?”
“I think so.” Not that he’d said that in so many words.
“He can sleep with you, but he can’t call you his girlfriend? I don’t like it.”
“I told him I wouldn’t be his dirty secret. I think I need a timeline. Once we’ve dated a few weeks or months, then we’ll need to discuss it with Ember. But I’m worried he’ll never be ready.”
“I don’t blame you. It’s taken him this long to make a move on you, and he didn’t until he had no choice. You were clearly moving on, and that was what sparked this whole thing.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. Had Sebastian only made his move when it seemed like I was moving on? Now I was living with him and sleeping with him every night. What motivation would he have to take the next step? I groaned. “What should I do?”
Amelia waved a hand in my direction. “Nothing yet. Get through the holidays, and if it still doesn’t feel right, I’d move out.”
I nodded, eager to have a plan of action.
“That way, he won’t be enticing you into his bedroom every night. It won’t be so easy for him. He’ll have to ask you out, which means getting a babysitter and explaining to his daughter that he’s dating.”
“I’ll tell him that’s what I’m going to do. If he’s not comfortable seeing me, then I shouldn’t be living with him.”
“The only thing is—he might break things off with you.”
“I want to be the one he wants. I don’t want these excuses to get in the way.”
“You want him to choose you.”
That was it. Sebastian had bid on me at the auction, but was that because he felt like he had no other choice? That he would lose me as a friend if he didn’t stake his claim? If he didn’t want a relationship, meaning a future with me—marriage, kids, the whole thing—then I wasn’t the girl for him.
CHAPTER 17
SEBASTIAN
I should have felt on top of the world. I’d won a date with my best friend, and it had been everything I wanted it to be. In fact, it went much further that night than I originally intended. But I didn’t have any regrets.
Hanna falling into bed with me each night felt good. I was happy with how things were going, but I was worried that she wasn’t.
I hated that she had to leave before Ember woke, but that was the way it was when a child was involved.
We spent time together, at breakfast and at dinner, and as soon as Ember was asleep, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Which also meant that we hadn’t talked about the arrangement since Sunday.
