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Backtracking as fast as I could, I stepped back, the cool air doing little to put out the flames touching her had set off. I waved a hand at the tree as if it was the atmosphere and not me. “There was something about the tree and you living here that made me wonder what it would be like to be with someone.”
I’d make it sound like I was in love with the idea of being in love, not attracted to my best friend.
Hanna flinched. “No worries. I’d imagine we’ve never kissed because that’s not what friends do. That neither one of us ever felt the need to cross that line.”
There was something about her statement that felt like a challenge. There was a right answer to these questions; I just wasn’t sure what it was. I’d never admitted that I’d thought about kissing her for the first time years ago, when she’d come over for a holiday bonfire with my family, and we’d found ourselves away from the group. She’d shivered from the cold, and I’d offered her my jacket. There was something in her eyes when I settled it over her shoulders that called out to me, making me think she wanted me to kiss her.
I wasn’t experienced with girls at the time, so I told myself I’d misinterpreted the whole experience. But over the years, when my brothers said she’d crushed on me, I’d wondered if I’d screwed up.
“Right,” I said, still at a loss for what to say.
“So, there’s your answer,” Hanna said in a snippy tone I almost never heard from her, and she moved around me and into the house. I wanted to go after her and tell her she had it all wrong, that I’d liked her for far longer than she thought.
But I couldn’t. I had to think about Ember and my family and what it would mean to tell her the truth, especially if she didn’t feel the same way. She hadn’t admitted to wanting me to kiss her. At best, she’d deflected. But without concrete evidence, I wasn’t sure I was willing to risk what we had.
I lowered myself into the rocking chair and dropped my head into my hands. She’d auction herself off to some great guy who’d know exactly what he had in Hanna. That thought made it hard to draw in a breath.
This time next year, she’d be living with some lucky guy, with his ring on her finger and babies on her mind.
What happened to my plan? The one where I was going to show her what she loved about me and Ember? I was so scared to mess up our friendship, but I was screwing everything up anyway.
My only option was the auction. I needed to plan the perfect date for her and make sure I won her. She was the prize.
I called Knox, and when he answered, I said, “I need your help to show Hanna how I feel about her.”
Knox was quiet for a few seconds.
I checked the phone to make sure he was still on the line, and sure enough, the seconds were still ticking.
When I pressed the screen against my ear, he asked, “Are you serious?”
I closed my eyes and remembered how Hanna had felt in my arms just a few minutes ago in front of the tree. The expression on her face, the look in her eyes. I wanted her to look at me as if I were the only man for her. And if she felt the same tingle I got whenever I touched her, I couldn’t let her meet someone else. “I can’t let her move on with someone else when she doesn’t know how I feel. How I’ve felt all these years.”
“It’s about time.”
I let out a breath. “I just hope I’m not too late.”
“I saw the flyers Marley and Ireland posted around town. The auction’s all anyone is talking about.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “That’s what I’m worried about. You know she’s a catch. She’s sweet, caring, and great with kids.”
“I’m happy to help with whatever you need. But make sure you’re doing this for the right reasons. Are you pursuing her because we’ve teased you all these years about her liking you, or because a relationship with her makes sense? She’s already your friend, and you’re living together—”
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone else. What if she’s the one, and I’ve ignored it because I was worried about what it would mean for our friendship? I can’t sit back and watch her date someone else. Not when she doesn’t know how I feel. I need this chance.”
“Okay. Okay. I believe you. I’ll do whatever you need me to do. What did you have in mind?”
I sighed. “This is a big ask. I’m not even sure it’s possible.” I sighed, then relayed my idea. Marley and Ireland already had other dates planned, but this one would be mine. I didn’t want anyone else’s input except possibly Knox’s.
“I’ll look into it and do whatever I can to make it happen.”
“You don’t think it’s too much?”
“I think it’s romantic as fuck. Are you sure you want to take this step? She won’t have any doubt after you bid on her, win, then show her the date you planned.”
“That’s the idea.” I thought about using one of Marley’s dates, and they were nice, but I wanted something that was all me. “You think Talon could help, too? I saw what he did with the pond.”
“You can ask. He’s busy with a commissioned piece, but he might have time for this.”
