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Sebastian nodded toward the tree. “Thank you for getting the tree. I wouldn’t have thought to do that.”
“It was Ember’s idea. I just asked your brother for help.”
He squeezed my thigh, then quickly let go.
His touch sent sparks through my leg to my core. He seemed unaffected as he grabbed the mug of hot chocolate and settled into his chair.
“Your home is beautiful,” I said to him, meaning every word. “From the stone and wood elements you added to the views and the decorations. Ember will have an amazing life here.”
“You think so?” Sebastian asked softly.
“I know so. She has so many people who love her. She’s a lucky girl.”
“Even if she doesn’t have her mother?” Sebastian let his head fall back. “All girls need a mother, don’t they?”
“I’m sure it’s an important relationship in any girl’s life. But sometimes, men take a step back when mothers are involved. You stepped up, and you’re an amazing father. Not every girl has an involved father, even if she has two parents living with her.”
“I hadn’t thought about it like that.”
“A lot of families are going through something similar. There’s a little boy in my class whose mom died suddenly of breast cancer last year. I have a little girl who has two daddies. And many more whose parents are split, and they’re going back and forth. Who says what the ideal family is? As long as you provide her a loving home, that’s all you can do.”
Sebastian swallowed hard. “I love and support her.”
“And so does your family.”
He looked at me then, his gaze intent. “Plus, I have you.”
“You have me,” I agreed, even as the words felt a little disingenuous. In order for me to move on from this crush, I needed space. Living with him had only intensified my feelings for him, despite my intention to meet someone else.
“I appreciate you moving in here to help me.”
I let out a breath, my heart thumping in my chest. “You don’t have to keep thanking me. I know how you feel. I love being here with Ember.”
“Do you enjoy being here with me?” Sebastian asked softly.
I opened my mouth, then closed it. I loved it. A little too much. But how do I address that with him? “I’m loving being here with you guys over the holidays.”
Sebastian cleared his throat. “I don’t want to hold you back or make you feel like you could be doing other things.”
“You’re helping me, too, remember? I couldn’t find an affordable apartment.”
“There’s no rush for you to leave. It’s convenient for you to be here if you’re helping me.”
“I know. But I feel like I’m taking advantage of you.” It wasn’t that. Not exactly. I just felt like I needed to preserve my sanity and create some distance.
“You’re not,” Sebastian insisted.
We fell into a comfortable silence. We were friends. This is how things would always be. I’d be helping him with Ember, enjoying his family. What would happen if he moved on and met someone? He wouldn’t need me anymore.
I’d never felt so torn in my entire life. Usually, I knew what I wanted and went after it. But with Sebastian, I’d always held back for fear of losing him. It hadn’t gotten me anywhere.
I gazed at the twinkling lights on the tree until they blurred. “I’m excited for snow this weekend. I wanted to bake some cookies and enjoy being stuck inside.”
“We’re not going to be stuck inside. We’re going to go sledding, build a snowman, and go snowmobiling at night. You’re going to get the full experience.”
“That sounds nice, but I don’t want to interrupt your time with Ember.”
Sebastian set his mug to the side and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “You won’t be. To be honest, it feels weird when you’re not here, and I think it’s going to get worse when you move out.”
