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“We don’t have to figure it out,” I reply. “We don’t have to fuck either. We can stick to the rules and that shit, but if I want to cook for you, I’m going to cook for you.”
“I don’t have a problem with you cooking for me,” she says. “I love food, and this is good, so thank you for that. I’m trying to be civil with you, but I find that exceedingly difficult after everything that’s happened between us.”
“The kissing or the way you hate me?”
“Both,” she says.
“Complicated.”
“Exactly.” She twirls the pasta around her fork and lifts it. “I don’t want to complicate what’s already a complicated situation.”
“I hear you.”
I take a sip of water to mask my disappointment.
“So it’s better that we don’t hate-fuck each other.”
I nearly do a spit-take and choke on the water.
Marci bursts out laughing but thwacks me on the back.
“Are you good?”
“Just—Uh.” I hold up a finger. “Didnotexpect you to use that turn of phrase.”
“What else would you call it?” she says. “We’re not love-fucking each other.”
That cools my mirth fast.
“No,” I say, “we aren’t. We’re going to have to stick to the ground rules if we want to?—”
Marci’s hand comes down on my arm and squeezes.
“We should probably keep physical contact to a minimum if you don’t want me to bend you over the counter and fuck your pussy with my tongue,” I say.
“Look.”
She squeezes my forearm, her thumb stroking it.
Is she messing with me?
It’s working.
I follow her line of sight.
“Well, shit,” I whisper. “No fucking way.”
Mr. Skitters creeps through the open doorway into the living room. He stops, a white-tipped ginger paw raised as he scans the kitchen and the living room.
“Looooook at that,” Marci hisses. “That, my friend, is the magic of the Marci touch.”
“Are you… Did you just talk about yourself in third person? I thought I was the cringey one.”
Marci lets out a muted squeak of excitement. “He’s inside. He’s actually inside.”
“This is some bullshit,” I say. “I’ve been trying to get him to warm up to me for weeks. You sit on the porch for a couple of hours and suddenly he’s mellow? What kind of Disney princess shit is that?”
“Anything you can do?—”
