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“You got it. Love you, Mia.”
“Love you, too.”
As I hang up the phone and The Beastie Boys fill my space again, I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. Because I have no notifications… and I was selfishly and secretly hoping for maybe a text from someone…
Which is fucking stupid. I shake my head and turn my attention back to my overflowing countertops. I have a job to do.
Operation distraction.
And you know what? Fuck him. I mean, yeah, I want to, but I mean like, fuck him. He wants this, and I know he is going to come to realize that. No one acts that way during a blowjob and turns around to say no thanks to another one.
I’m not going to sit around sulking and waiting for him. He knows where to find me when he’s ready.
He’ll be back.
I know it.
SIXTEEN
As I tighten the last lug nut on my last car of the day, I feel both apprehension and relief. Apprehension, because now that the day is done, I have nothing to keep my mind from replaying those memories of last night. Relief, because I went too fucking hard today to keep those memories away. But now, as they flood in again, I notice a weird sort of… satisfied feeling under it all.
Which is confusing as fuck.
“Hey, guys.” Bill enters the garage, just as I’m lowering the car from the lift, and Tim and Jake are finishing up in their bays as well. “We just had a car towed in, brakes are shot. I’m looking for a spot to fit it in tomorrow and wondering-”
“I’ll take it now,” I say quickly, turning to face him.
Bill cocks an eyebrow. “Right now? We’re done for the day.”
I shrug one shoulder, trying to look unbothered, and not as desperate as I feel to keep my mind busy. “I’ll stay. Tomorrow is just as full as today was. I don’t mind.”
Tim crosses his arms and observes me cautiously. “Not training tonight?”
I shake my head, looking down at my hands as I wipe them on my rag. “I don’t have anything planned.”
Well, not any more… since I’m avoiding the gym…
“I can stay and help you,” Jake says with a smile. “We’ll knock it out and get out of here in time for dinner.”
“It’s alright.” I shake my head again. It’s a nice offer, but I want this to take a long time. And I want to be alone. “It’s probably just a brake pad and rotor replacement.”
“Still, I don’t mind.” Jake shrugs and gives me an expectant look, like he’s waiting for me to say yes.
And now I find myself in yet another position to be the asshole I am. “Really, it’s ok,” I insist, and he nods thoughtfully.
I quickly drop my eyes again, wiping the grease from my wrench with my rag. I know that look. The one where people try to figure out why I’m the asshole. I could also say that I don’t want him to stay because he has kids and he should be home with them, not here working late just because I want to. But I don’t. Inviting that connection in will only end up in disappointment, and I’d rather save both of us from that.
“Alright, well, thanks Ty,” Bill says, turning to leave the garage. “Just leave the work order on the front desk when you’re done.”
“Ok,” I say, nodding to him as he leaves. But not before he shoots one more cautionary glance my way.
“I’ll bring the car in for you before I go,” Tim offers, and heads out after Bill before I can protest.
“Thanks,” I say after him, feeling bad that now he is helping when it’s something I am choosing to do.
“Well, hopefully you’re not here too late.” Jake smiles at me. “And hey, some weekend when you’re free, you’ll have to come over for a barbeque. My wife makes a mean rack of ribs.”
I give him a weak smile. “Thanks. I’ll let you know.”
