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Losing you doesn’t feel right.
I feel like I’m losing my purpose.
You were the one who helped me keep sight.
Still someday I hope to write another letter telling you all about our life.
I guess I should say thank you.
None of this would have happened without you.
It hurts that you won’t get to see me become a mom and a wife.
My heart bleeds when he says that he loves me?—
I just wanted you to know you were right.
I’m sure you’re God’s favorite angel?—
I know he’s keeping you close.
I just might break into heaven?—
Did God know I needed you most?
Every time my beau says he loves me?—
I lose my breath… cause I don’t deserve him?—
I’m bracing myself for his loss.
PS I hope you can forgive me?—
I didn’t know I was trading an angel for love.
I play the final cords,and the crowd erupts. I open my eyes and feel the moisture on my cheeks. When I woke the morning after Trevor and I said I love you and then had that amazing moment, I wanted to call Brooke so badly.
I wanted to tell her everything. Then I remembered I couldn’t. That’s when I grabbed my notebook and started on this song. I’ve been singing it in my head for days.
I walk off stage and head back to our table. Trevor pulls me into his arms and hugs me tight. I hold him as close as I can with my guitar still in my hand.
“If I could bring her back, if I could trade places with her, I would,” he murmurs into my hair.
“I know.”
“You deserve to be happy. She would want you happy. We would make her happy,” he says in almost a plea.
“Trev, it’s okay. It’s just a song. I wish I could tell her how much I love you now. This was my way of telling her.”
He pulls away and looks down into my face. “Are we good?”
“Yeah, we’re good.”
He kisses my nose and wipes away my tears. There’s still a bit of concern in his gaze. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his warm chest.
He has no idea how much this simple gesture means to me. I needed to get that out. The jagged hole in my heart feels like it heals just a bit more.
Trevor
