Page 45 of Wild Hearts, Trevor Monroe: Part One

Trev hands me my guitar and goes to hand me my notebook. I shake my head. This one is in my heart. I wrote it the morning after he made me come for the first time.

“I got this one,” I say and wink.

I head up on stage as my heart pounds. It’s always like this when I go to perform in front of a crowd. This place has a nice one tonight. The vibe is just what I need.

Settling on the stool on the stage, I look out at our group, spanning two tables. My eyes lock with Trev and I inhale deeply to calm my heart. Closing my eyes, I begin to strum the first few cords.

Woke up this morning and you were the first thing on my mind.

Went to call your name and realized we have no more time.

I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a letter to an angel because that’s who was heavy on my heart.

I have so much to say, but still, I had trouble with the start.

So, I started with the truth.

You’re not here anymore and I’m falling in love and I’m living a life that doesn’t feel like mine.

He makes me happy and has made all my songs sappy, but I thought you should know he loves me too.

Now, all that’s missing is you.

So much to share but you’re not here.

What am I supposed to do?

I’m sure you’re God’s favorite angel?—

I know he’s keeping you close.

I just might break into heaven?—

Did God know I needed you most?

Every time my beau says he loves me?—

I lose my breath… ’cause I don’t deserve him?—

I’m bracing myself for his loss.

PS I hope you can forgive me?—

I didn’t know I was trading an angel for love.

I remember you brushing my hair while I gushed about him.

Even I didn’t know how much I loved him then.

But you saw me and wouldn’t ignore me.

Instead, you said to have patience and one day, I would see.

Now, when he holds me tight and kisses me at night, I hear your voice saying we’re perfect?—

My heart sings, Lynnie, she’s right.

But how do I deserve him?

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