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Shit. That’s not good.
“We need to talk about that,” I say, but she’s saved by Jess ripping open the curtain and triumphantly crowing, “I’ve got it! I’ve found the perfect dress!”
Behind her, the snooty shop owner is carrying a garment bag in her hands, and behind her Lucy, Steph, Kaiden and Zie all hold dresses of their own. My eyes widen.
“Well that’s a lot to take in,” Lou quips. “Can I grab one for you to try on too?”
“Sure. What’s one more after the hundred I’ve already tried?” I reply with a laugh, my attempt at humour masking the underlying tension.
The dresses get shoved through the curtain anonymously but I have no issues guessing who has chosen each one for me.
Jess’ is a high necked, long sleeved, thick satin affair that looks a lot like a Nun’s habit. We all have a good laugh over that one until I see Jess’ hurt expression and tell her it’s just not for me, but that Idoreally like it. It seems to soothe the blow a little, but I can’t shake my guilt at disappointing her.
Lucy’s choice mirrors Kaiden’s edgy style. The lace back panel resembles intricate tattooed flowers, giving it a punky, rocker vibe. However, Kaiden’s version comes with a thigh slit that’s practically indecent. I can’t help but shake my head – I don’t need to be flashing the entire congregation as I walk downthe aisle. If I were marrying Kaiden, maybe Lucy’s dress would be tempting, but it doesn’t align with the traditional feel I want for marrying Axel. I know he’d never approve.
Steph’s dress is beautiful, elegant, but generic. It looks like every other long sleeved, backless lace gown I’ve tried on, and there’s nothing special about it. It’s okay, but it doesn’t make me feel amazing. Axel would hate it for its mediocrity, and I need a dress that will make me feel extraordinary to get me through the day. A dress of armour, as it were.
Then, Lou hands me the black dress, and my breath catches. The deep shade contrasts sharply with the sea of whites and creams that surround me. It’s a bold choice, a departure from the traditional, but there’s something captivating about it.
“Just try it on,” Lou orders me in her no-nonsense tone, her eyes fixed on the black dress in my hands.
I nod, suddenly feeling a rush of excitement mixed with nervous anticipation. As I step into the dress and pull it up over my body, a wave of empowerment washes over me. The fabric clings to my curves in a way that feels both daring and elegant. The neckline is high enough to cover my tattoo but slightly off-shoulder so it’s not boring, with close fitting mesh sleeves that end in matte satin cuffs. The skirt cascades in a flow of dark romance, culminating in a small puddle train on the ground. There’s a thigh split, but it’s decent, and the back is cut into a sharp ‘V’ with black silk laces which would stretch across my bare back and end at the base of my spine.
It’s sexy. Killer in fact.
I look at myself in the mirror, and for the first time today, I feel a spark of something magical. It fits like it was made for me, and the black dress has transformed me – liberated me from the expectations that have bound me throughout this agonising day.
Lou’s eyes meet mine in the mirror, and she smirks, a silent affirmation of her choice. “What do you think?” she asks, her voice cutting through the whirlwind of thoughts in my mind.
“I love it,” I say, surprising even myself with the certainty in my voice. “It’s different, but it feels right. I feel like this could be the one...”
“But?”
I shake my head, pushing my fears aside. “Nothing.”
Lou grins, a victorious gleam in her eyes. “Told you,” she says triumphantly.
“I still have Zie’s dress to try on,” I point out. It’s no use though, my heart has fallen hard for this dress.
But will Axel approve? He didn’t want black as a theme for the wedding, so will he approve of this dress? Do I really care what he thinks? If this is my one and only wedding day, then I should be happy with my choice.
Maybe I should ask the owner if she has this dress in white. Or something similar.
“Show the others,” Lou urges. “It also comes with a removable organza skirt you can add over the top. It’s the dress that keeps on giving.”
“Does it have pockets?” I tease.
“Yes!”
“Dealbreaker.” I laugh.
As I step out from behind the curtain, the reactions of my friends are mixed. Zie’s jaw drops. Jess looks a little taken aback, but Lucy and Kaiden exchange approving glances. Steph offers a polite smile, and I catch a glimpse of disappointment in her eyes, but I can’t let that sway me. This is my day, my choice.
I can’t help but waver on my decision. Part of me can’t wait to see Axel’s reaction, but part of me dreads it. The black dress may defy convention, but it feels like the perfect expression of my true self right now. Should I stay true to that?
“I’ve one more dress to try on,” I tell the others, but I’m unable to keep the grin off my face as I head back towards the changing room. “But I do love this one the most so far.”
Zie’s choice makes my heart ache. It’s exactly the dress I would choose to wed him, reminiscent of a sketch I did once for an art project at school. I didn’t think anyone besides me and my teacher had seen that design, but noting the similarities between this dress and the memory makes me wonder.
