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Of all the disasters that have happened to me, this is one of the biggest.
The blow up yesterday felt like dropping into an erupting volcano on the end of a rocket.
I haven't been able to get the catastrophic images out of my head—Jakobe finding me naked in bed, balls deep inside his daughter.
The black and blue bruises from his fist are a prominent reminder, but so is the dullness in my soul.
I keep seeing Autumn's face, keep seeing her father, keep seeing that motherfucker Evan.
I fucked up and got caught in the kind of trap where there's no way out.
Hunter and I have been playing pool for the last few hours. It’s my distraction and the only thing I can do right now to keep my head from exploding.
I take the shot and the balls scatter but I don't pocket any. On seeing that, I grab my cigar from the counter and take a drag.
Hunter takes his turn and wins the round again. I've lost every single game we've played this morning. Usually we have an even balance between us but my mind isn’t here.
Apart from the memory of the dreadful disaster, I’m holding on to hope that Jericho might find something to help me.
In my desperation I contacted him, although I knew that if he’d found something he would have told me by now.
He said he was waiting for one of his hunches to be checked out and that he might be able to speed it up. That’s what I’m waiting for.
There's a chance I'll still have nothing more than what I woke up with this morning, which was a mountain of worries over the recklessness that landed me in Evan's trap, but that evidence is the only thing I can think of that might fix this mess.
Not for me. For Autumn.
There's no way I'm going to be captain of the team now. After yesterday Jakobe will hate me more than ever before. If I wasn't such a vital member of the team, he would've fired me on the spot. I know it.
The loose plan I have now is to get some leverage that will put me back on equal footing so I can confront Jakobe. I won't abandon Autumn to the confines of her father's control.
I also won’t allow Evan to take the team down. I might not be captain or even one of the alternates, but I'm still Luc Le Blanche.
"Do you want another game?" Hunter asks. He's probably tired of playing now but he’ll be here as long as I need him to be.
"One more." I put down my cigar.
Hunter sets the balls up, but turns to face me instead of taking his shot. "Do you plan on doing this all day, Luc? I mean, sulking. There's no telling when you might hear back from Jericho. There might be other options to explore."
"Like what? I have nothing and I don't fucking know what I'm doing. There's a game tomorrow night and this is a big week for the team that I can't mess up, but I can't focus either.”
“You can’t worry about things that are out of your control.”
“I know that but it’s easier said than done. To make matters worse I feel like I've just shoved my career down the toilet."
Hunter's brows knit but he doesn't say anything. Probably because he knows I'm right.
I've had thatwhatwould my father do?moment several times over the last few hours, because I know my father would never have allowed shit like this to happen to him.
But for the umpteenth time it hits me that Dad didn't have the same problems as me. Things were different for both of us.
Hunter leans against the pool table and stares back at me. "You told my father Autumn was worth the risk. I've never heard you talk like that before about anyone. Do you still feel the same way?" He gives me a stern stare.
I nod with conviction because I haven't changed my mind even though I've lost the biggest opportunity of my life. “I still believe my girl was worth the risk," I begin. "When I met Autumn I knew I had to be with her. Hockey is hockey and it's my life, but she's my soulmate."
Hunter blinks and grins back at me. "I'm the last person to give relationship advice, but if you believe that then you did the right thing. Everything you did was the right thing."
"Thanks. I just wish I felt better, or rather that I found a way to fix the mess."
