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TWENTY-THREE
Day Five of Cuba
Faye
After Lori rushes out of our room, Kellan stands in the doorway, shifting from foot to foot.
“Come in,” I offer, stepping aside so he can enter, hoping my voice seems calm and composed even though I’m anything but. I wish I had brushed my hair after my shower, or at least put on cuter pajamas than the oversized navy blue T-shirt that completely washes me out and hangs to my midthighs.
Why is he here? What can he say after that clusterfuck on the beach this morning?
Instead of facing him, I busy myself with opening the curtains to the balcony to let in some light. It’s still gloomy outside, so it doesn’t bathe the room in sunlight, but it’s better than sitting in the dark.
I’m all too aware of Kellan behind me, of every breath and movement, every glance my way. It’s funny to think that Adam and Lori called mestrongandconfident, yet here I am fussing over the curtains rather than facing the guy I love, the guy who knows I love him.
The vulnerability I felt with Adam earlier dulls compared to this moment with Kellan. I’ve never not been the one holding all the cards, I’ve always been in control, and lately it seems like Kellan’s got me dangling by my little toe, completely at his mercy, with all the power to stomp on my heart. It’s terrifying.
The temperature in the room suddenly spikes, so I open the sliding door to let in a refreshing breeze. The rain is slowing down.
Kellan clears his throat, apparently deciding I’ve stalled enough. “How are you feeling?”
Dizzy. Flushed. Short of breath. But I’m not sure if those are symptoms of the concussion or his proximity.
“All right,” I say instead. “Just have a headache.”
I turn to face him and my breath hitches. I wonder if I’ll ever stop being affected by him—by his deep-brown eyes that stare straight into my soul; by his pouty lips that are too soft for my own good.
“I wanted to make sure you were okay, but Adam—”
“I know,” I say. “Adam and I talked, and now he’s taking his brother role just a tad too seriously.” I chuckle at the end, since those are words I never thought I’d say.
After Adam and I left the beach, we ran into Kellan and Alessio, who were rushing the hotel doctor to us. Since I was up, clearly conscious, and declined to go to the hospital, the doctor looked me over in his office. After that, Adam ordered everyone away, barking at them to let me rest, as per the doctor’s advice.
I may have grumbled about him going overboard, but I secretly love it. UsuallyI’mon the receiving end of Adam’s grumpiness, but this time he was using itforme, to look after me, and that’s a new feeling I’ll never get over.
Kellan sits on the side of Lori’s neatly made bed, and I cross the distance between us, sitting on my messy one.
“I’m glad you guys talked,” he says. “You didn’t have to say anything to him about us, you know.”
Looks like he doesn’t want to beat around the bush. “Yes, I did. It was time to come clean.” I collect my racing thoughts.
This is important. This is my future,ourfuture, and I don’t want to screw that up. This needs to be perfect. “I’m sorry for making you feel like I was hiding you, and for actually hiding you. It wasn’t about you, I swear. I’m not embarrassed of you or anything like that. I just . . . didn’t want Adam to hate me any more than he already did if he found out about us. Especially after how everything turned out with Zach.”
Kellan nods, his face softening. “I know, Faye. I know. And I appreciate that you told him about us.”
There’s abutcoming. I feel it. Its imminent arrival deflates any hope I had about Kellan and me pushing past this.
“But,” he says, and my heart breaks, “I didn’t want you to feel forced into saying something.”
That’s not abut we’re through, and my pulse races.
“I was selfish hiding you, and it wasn’t fair to anyone involved—you, me, or Adam.” I take a breath and bolster all my confidence, all my courage. It’s now or never. “I meant what I said on the beach, Kell. I’m in love with you.”
Kellan’s eyes sharpen, making him look so much more intense. I almost want to look away, but it’s a physical impossibility to draw my gaze from his.
He stands, and for a second I fear he’s going to leave, but he steps closer to me.
He gives his head a little disbelieving shake. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to hear you say that?”
