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“Hey,” a deep voice says, and Adam and I both glance up into Dean’s brilliant blue eyes. It’s like my thoughts summoned him, and my face heats. “Can we talk, Lori?”
He wants to talk to me? I’m torn between squealing and hiding under this couch. “Um, yeah, sure.”
I start to rise but Adam beats me to it. “It’s okay. I’ll catch you guys later.” He gives Dean a nod as he leaves, and Dean returns it before he sits next to me. I wonder if Adam apologized to him too for his comments this morning.
Dean’s gotten more and more sunburnt every day he’s been here, but it does nothing to detract from his looks. His dark hair has dried wavy after getting caught out in the rain, and it looks good on him. More than good—just like the gray T-shirt that stretches across his chest. I suddenly wish I had thrown a T-shirt over my bikini top before I left the room.
“Oh, no. You have that look on your face,” he says, causing me to freeze.
“What look?”
He tries and fails to bite back a smile. “The one you make right before you run away from me.”
My eyes widen. “I’m not going to run.”
“Good,” he says, and I hope I’m not blushing. “I just wanted to see how you were feeling after . . . everything.”
“I’m good,” I say and mean it. “I’m sorry I ran away last night after our . . . you know . . .” I can’t even say the wordkisswhen he’s looking at me like that. I guess some things will never change.
“It’s all right. Adam and I had a few words, but we sorted it out after the doctor checked Faye.”
Outside, the rain is letting up, and it looks like the sun is going to appear from behind the dark clouds soon. Some people venture outside before the rain fully stops.
“Listen,” Dean continues, and my gaze focuses on his eyes, blue and serious. “I’m just going to come out and say this, and it’s probably not the best time after everything going on, but I need to get it off my chest.”
I hold my breath, and the way his eyes bore into mine doesn’t help my anticipation.
“I like you, Lori. When we get back, would you go on a date with me? A real one?”
My heart hammering in my chest is so loud he must hear it.
Yes!I want to yell, then jump up on this couch and do a crazy happy dance.Yes, yes, yes!After everything, he actuallylikes me.
The memory of his lips against mine sends tingles all the way down my spine. He wants to do that again!
But then reality sinks in and I remember that I’m choosing myself, and the thought doesn’t make me sad, really, just level-headed about what’s truly feasible.
“I would really like that, but I meant what I said about choosing myself. I’m going to tell my parents I’m not going to med school, and that I’m taking a year off to backpack through Europe. It’s what I want to do, what I think will help me truly figure myself out, and I don’t think it’s fair to either of us to start a relationship when I’m going to leave for an entire year.”
It’s the first time I’ve voiced my decision about not pursuing med school and following through with my European experience even if my parents are against it, and it’s terrifying but also an immense relief. I’m going to have to face my parents’ disbelief and disappointment, for sure, but I’m not going silently into a future I’m going to resent and regret. Iamtaking a year off before university to travel, and either my parents are supportive or they’re not, but I’m sure they’ll come around eventually. I need to do it forme, and I have all summer to plan the trip and for them to get over the initial shock.
Dean nods thoughtfully. He doesn’t seem upset, even though a small, sad smile touches his lips. “I understand. I’m proud of you, Lori. You’re making the best decision for you, even though it sucks for me.” He chuckles, and I know there are no hard feelings. “You should do what makes you happy.”
“Thanks, Dean. I owe a lot to you.” I fight the blush threatening to emerge. “You’ve been encouraging me to do what I want instead of what other people expect me to, and I’m finally doing it.”
He waves me off. “I did nothing. It’s all you.”
In the short time I’ve known him, he’s had such a huge impact on my life, and even though I’ll be traveling, I don’t want to lose him forever. “But we can still talk and be friends, right?”
His smile isn’t sad this time. “Of course. And if it’s okay with both of us, and if we’re both still single, maybe when you get back we can go on that date?”
I nod my head and mirror his smile. I’d really like that. We won’t be closing the door on us, on what we could be, just getting to know each other better while I figure out who I am. And when I get back, if it feels right and we’re still into it, we can see if we’re suited for something more.
“Here,” Dean says, handing me his phone. It’s open to the contact section. “So we can stay in touch. This way I won’t have to chase you down at the gym.”
Holding it while trying to forget how he tackled me out of a moving car’s path, I enter my name and phone number before handing it back to him.
The Lori who would pine after Dean at Grant’s Gym back in Canada wouldneverbelieve that I turned down not only Adam, but also saidnot right nowto Dean. But everything settles in my chest with arightnessthat tells me this is the best choice forme, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
