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Especiallywhen he felt the same way she did.
17
Gradually,the green countryside gave way to concrete and the clear highway turned more congested.Jesswatched a car inch past them in the right lane, a little girl in a child’s seat peering out of the window.Theireyes met across the tarmac.Thegirl smiled; out of habit,Jesssmiled, too, although her heart wasn’t in it.
Ithad become a very quiet car ride.
He’dspent the first hour of the trip asking her questions about teaching and wanting to know about her life inLondon.Sheguessed he was trying to make up for what happened back at the chateau.Jessanswered him, but the conversation eventually petered out and they both turned introspective.
Allshe heard in her head was him saying,It’sjust sex, right?Ofcourse it was.Howsilly of her to have convinced herself that it was anything else.Andhe was right about her judgment, too.Sheneeded to recalibrate, avoid men for a while.
Shepulled at the collar of her dress.Wasit possible for the air to be heavier inParis?Thecloser they got, the more she felt it pressing against her, telling her to go back.CouldGabrielfeel it too?Allshe knew was that the smile she’d uncovered at the chateau had gone.Nowhe looked like a man who was mentallycataloguing the to-do list that he’d run away from in the first place.
Thecongestion cleared and the traffic sped up again.Shetracked a greyTeslaas it flashed by in the fast lane.
Sighing, she tried to engage him again. ‘Sowhat do you have planned for the next few days?’
Hemuttered something about a meeting with his agent tomorrow afternoon and needing to repot some of his plants.Hewas also running a charity 10k to raise money for children who needed prostheses due to land mines—which did nothing to help the black hole that was opening up in her heart at the thought of walking away from him.Hewas a good man, even if he couldn’t see it.
Tryingto keep her emotions off her face,Jessasked, ‘Doyou have a donations page onFacebook?’
‘I’mnot onFacebook.Orany social media.’
Therewent her plan to cyber-stalk him fromLondon, but she wasn’t surprised.Gabrieldidn’t strike her as somebody who would suffer the time-wasting pointlessness of social media.
‘Well, let me know whereIcan donate,’ she said before sliding back into her thoughts again.
Sheimagined her own weekend: changing herFacebookstatus from ‘in a relationship’ to ‘single’, fielding the inevitable barrage of questions in herDMs, unfriendingKrish.MaybeGabrielhad the right idea.Maybeshe should delete the app.
Theidea of going home to her empty flat inBatterseamade her shift uncomfortably in her seat.Shepictured opening the door and seeing the evidence of the life she used to share withKrishall around her: her bed still covered in the outfits she decided not to bring toParis; the quaint painting hanging on her wall that he’d bought her inCornwallon their first holiday together; his toothbrush on her sink.
Andbecause that hadn’t been enough heartache for her, she’d also be thinking about the man she’d randomly fallen for on her closure tour ofParis.
Welldone,Jess, you idiot,she thought, catching the reflection of her forlorn face in the window.Hersad eyes refocussed and she realised they were passing the girl in the car again.Thechild smiled a second time and gaveJessa thumbs up, like she suspectedJessneeded a boost.Childrenseemed to have a sixth sense when it came to the moods of the grown-ups around them.
Itreminded her that she could count on her kids to cheer her up.Injust a couple weeks, they’d be back at school and she wouldn’t have time to think about the seriously crap summer she’d had.Nothinglike meeting a new class of twenty five-year-olds to keep one occupied.
Thegirl showedJessher doll, but then the traffic sped up more and the girl’s car fell behind.Gabrielswitched on the indicator as their exit approached on the right.Soon, they’d be back inMontmartre.
Unexpectedly,Gabrielslammed on the brakes, throwing her forward against her seatbelt.Heswore inFrench.Inwhat seemed like slow motion,Jesswhipped her head around to see a red car careening towards them from the outside lane.Shebraced for impact, but it miraculously missed them by inches, instead smashing into the car in front ofGabriel’sSUV.Itthen spun into the next lane, narrowly missing the girl’s car, before skidding to a stop.
Trafficfroze.Trembling,Jessbreathed quick and heavy, her hands gripping the door and the central console.Gabriel’sarm was pasted across her chest, protecting her.
Heundid his seatbelt with visibly shaking hands and reached for her, cradling her head in his palm, his eyes frantic. ‘Areyoualright?’Panicinfused his voice as he scanned her over to check for injuries.
Shecupped his face, too, and kissed him.Fastand desperate. ‘I’mfine.You?’
‘Isaw that car swerve and hit the barrier.Ithappened so fast.’Herested his forehead against hers before retreating to the driver’s side.Fora moment, he closed his eyes.Shesqueezed his hand.
Jesswatched people filtering out of their cars, approaching the vehicles involved in the crash and placing reflective triangles on the ground.Gabrielopened his eyes and surveyed the scene.
‘I’llbe right back.Youstay here,’ he said, reaching behind his seat for his high-vis vest and turning to open the door.
‘Gabriel!’ she said, reaching for him.Heglanced back.Theshock of the past minute buzzed through her and the wordsIlove youwere on the tip of her tongue again, but she wasn’t going to make that mistake a second time.Instead, she said, ‘Becareful.’
Henodded.
Sheglued her eyes to him as he approached the crumpled car in front of them.Gabrielyanked the driver’s side door open and helped an older man exit.Jessspied blood on his forehead, but he seemed to be walking around okay.Inthe distance,Jessheard the sound of sirens.Thelane of traffic to her left managed to filter through, leaving the other three lanes to deal with the mess.Asmall, concerned crowd gathered around the red car.Itsbodywork appeared to be in bad shape andJesshoped the driver was okay.
