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Thekiss gradually slowed and then stopped.Hehovered above her.Hissmiles, gone.Hiseyes, thoughtful.Theywandered over her face, like he was memorising details, and they breathed in the scent of each other.Herheart thundered in her chest.
Shedidn’t know what made her say it, but before she could stop herself, the words slipped out of her mouth: ‘Gabriel,IthinkI’mfalling in love with you.’
Jessdidn’t care if she’d only known him sinceFridaynight.Alot had happened in that time.Enoughfor her to know that he was special, not at all what she had expected, but everything she wanted.Sexy, thoughtful, funny, talented, smart, adventurous…
…and looking at her like she’d just announced she was a bodysnatcher.
‘Youdon’t mean that,’Gabrielsaid.Herolled off of her and sat up, wrapping his arms around his knees and looking away from her towards the tree line.
‘ButIdo.’Arebellious swell of anger reared within her.Sheknew what she meant.Perhapsit had been a mistake to say it, but she still felt the truth of the words in her heart.
‘Youwouldn’t say that if you knew whoIreally was.’
‘Andwho is that?’Herflash of anger dissolved and she touched his arm.Hejerked away like she’d burned him.
‘I’mnot good enough for you.Youdeserve…’Heshook his head. ‘You’relooking for a hero, someone to save you from your heartbreak.I’mnot that man.’
‘You’reone of the best peopleI’veever met.’Thistime when she touched his arm, he didn’t flinch away.
‘You’veonly just met me.’
‘I’ma good judge of character.’
‘Areyou?’Heturned and skewered her with his indignant gaze, and she knew before he said it that she wouldn’t like what came out of his mouth next. ‘Wereyou a good judge of character with your ex?’
Shecaught her breath.Thatobservation struck true, like a knife to her heart.Herbrow furrowed, unable to dismiss his point and hurt that he’d made it.Sheused to think she was good at reading people, but obviously she wasn’t.FirstKrish…nowGabriel.TheGabrielof the past couple days wouldn’t have said something so mean to her.Maybeher instincts were off here, too.
‘I’m-I’msorry,’ she said. ‘You’reprobably right.Ijust got carried away in the moment…missing this place already.’
‘Yousaid it to me yourself: it’s just sex, right?’
‘Right.’Sheremembered saying that to him two days ago, and it had beenhimthat questioned it.Now, they’d obviously flipped positions.Morefool her.
Notwanting to linger on this conversation, she stood up abruptly, smoothing the wrinkles out of her skirt. ‘Well,Iguess we should clear this up.Geton our way.’
Atleast she didn’t have to second guess what he was thinking anymore.Nowshe knew.Loudand clear.
Toobad her heart ached like an iron fist was squeezing it.Emotionally, she had jumped from a tsunami into a typhoon and had no idea how to navigate either.
Shit,shit, shit.
He’druined things withJess.Whydid he have to tear her down when she said she thought she was falling for him?Hedidn’t have to be cruel.
Becauseyou’re an unloveable douchebag, said his inner critic.
Theother day you wanted me to let go, be free,he reminded himself.
Andyou did.Nowit’s time to crawl back into your box.Youdidn’t think you could have this, did you?Youaren’t relationship material and you’d only disappoint her.She’dleave you eventually, anyway.
Besides, her life was inLondon.Hecouldn’t ask her to leave her ageing parents, a job she loved, and friends she’d miss.InParis, she would be in a land where she didn’t speak the language, jobless, pining for her family…in return for what?Him?
Whata shit bargain that would be.Hecouldn’t do that to her.
Heshoved the final bag into the trunk of the car and waited forJessto come out of the chateau.Afterthey’d cleaned up the picnic, she’d excused herself to go to the bathroom.Itdidn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that she wanted somewhere private to cry.
Gabrielcovered his face with his hands and dragged them down until his fingertips rested on his mouth.Thisweekend she had taken him apart and put him back together.Andthis was how he repaid her?
He’dmake it up to her tonight—show her with his body how he felt, so that he didn’t have to tell her with his words.Thelast thing he wanted was for her to leave angry at him.
