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‘No, seriously.’
‘Butwe only just found our way back to each other.Don’tdo this to me, again,Chezzy.’Hedrove his hands into his thick hair, his voice thick with anguish.
Shehated doing this to him.Butit was for the best.Duediligence before embarking on a life shackled to her and her problems. ‘Justone week.That’sallI’msuggesting.Takea week to really think about it without all of this distracting you.’Sheswept her hand across the messy sheets. ‘NextSunday, we can get together and talk about what you’ve decided.’
Eyesnarrowed, lips thin, he said, ‘Oneweek?’
‘Justone week.’
Hesighed.Shecould hear frustration in that sigh. ‘Okay.Oneweek.’
Reachingout, she touched his arm. ‘Promiseme you won’t try to contact me?’
Anexasperated noise preceded his saying, ‘Ipromise.’
Francescaslapped her hands onto her thighs, probably a little too hard.Betterthat than tears. ‘Rightthen.Iguess that’s that.I’llget a taxi home.’
‘Ican drive you.’
‘No, it’s okay.Ican get home by myself.’Shedidn’t want to draw out this separation any more than it had to be.
Hestopped in the process of getting out of the bed and sat back down, turning towards her. ‘Youknow,Ithink you have some thinking to do, too.’
‘Ialready know whatIwant.’
‘Yes, but ifIchoose you, will you be able to fully commit to me?Willyou listen whenIsayIwant to help you?Mostimportantly, will you tell me the truth?Always?Youcan’t keep things from me anymore.Ineed to be able to trust you.NomoreNormans.’
Hercheeks broke out in a guilty blush, and her chest tightened. ‘Doyou…do you think you’ll ever be able to trust me again?’Shehad to know.
Krishlooked her straight in the eyes. ‘Iwant to.’
Thatwasn’t a yes.
Shehad already caused him so much pain.Shewasn’t worthy of this naked superhero who made her world explode with stars when he touched her.Withsupreme effort, she extricated herself from the sheets, found her clothes, and put them back on.Sheshoved the rest of her things into her backpack.
Slowly, she trudged to the front door and let herself out.Hefollowed, donning a robe on the way.Withthe threshold of his flat separating them, he kissed her like it might be their last time. ‘Chezzy,I—’Hestopped and closed his eyes for a second. ‘I’llsee you in a week.’
Sheleft in a hurry, before she lost her nerve.
31
‘Didyou know that some women report that period pains feel equivalent to the pain of a heart attack?’Krishsaid toMickin the lobby of his office building.
‘Thatsucks,’ saidMick, whose thumb was saving his place in a well-worn copy ofBridgetJones’sDiary.‘Actually,Isaw somewhere that male doctors used to tell women not to read because their ovaries would become inflamed.’
‘Absolutelycrazy,’ saidKrish.NowonderFrancescahad been so angry.Shehad been right to get frustrated with the lack of knowledge and research into her conditions.He’dread that diagnoses could take anywhere from six to ten years because doctors wrote off women complaining of symptoms as just that: complaining.Andthings were even bleaker for black and brown women, who—it was only recently discovered—had evenmoresevere growths of endometriosis than white women.Hewas enraged for them all.
Fourdays had passed sinceKrishlast sawFrancescaand, in that time, he had become a walking encyclopaedia of women’s reproductive health.He’dlearned new words likeprostaglandinsanddysmenorrhea.Hiscomputer browser had millions of open tabs—something his inner neat freak never normally allowed—as he researchedFrancesca’sissues.Adedicated notebook was already half-filled with his scribblings and stuffed with print-outs.
Themore he read, the more he respected the strength she exhibited just by waking up in the morning and getting out of bed.Hiswarrior woman.
Somepeople might call his research overkill, but he called it romantic.HelovedFrancesca, and he wanted to educate himself so he could support her.He’dalready put his foot in it a few times and didn’t want to be insensitive by accident.Ifeverything worked out, then he wanted to be her partner in every way.
Assumingshe chose him, too.
Athis flat, the words ‘Ilove you’ had almost slipped out a number of times, but something stopped him from saying them.Itfelt like dangerous territory.Thelast time he’d said those words,Normanhad happened.
Krishrealised that he hadNormanpost-traumatic stress.Everytime he heard that name, he needed a deep breath.If...whenthey managed to sort things out, they would have to do something to take the power away from the nameNorman.Krishcouldn’t go through life randomly hating innocentNormans.
