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“What did you do wrong?” Jenni asked.
Caleb’s expression went stone cold.
Jenni knew in a moment she’d said the wrong thing, but there was no way to take it back now.
“What didIdo wrong?” Caleb repeated.
His eyes now appeared sad as he shook his head. “I can’t believe you’d assume that it had to be my transgression, something I did, that ended the relationship. That only a man could hurt a woman and not the other way around. For your information it was Esme. She crossed a line that meant we could no longer be together. It doesn’t matter what it was, just believe me when I say that I had never felt so betrayed in my life.”
There was nothing for Jenni to add. Another “I’m sorry”? That seemed weak and inept. She was fumbling for words when Caleb turned to walk away.
“You know, Jenni, I think you might need to get some help to work through your feelings. To heal. To trust. It seems to me you could have a great future ahead of you, but you’d rather wallow in the past and never allow anyone inside your little bubble of hurt. It’s not easy, but that’s something I had to do myself. I suggest you think about it.”
He walked up the ramp.
Jenni stood there, frozen to the spot.
How had this gone so wrong?
She wanted to call out to him, but she didn’t. She watched as he disappeared out of view for the second time that day. This time she felt it would be forever.
Chapter Twenty-Five
The drive back to Raleigh seemed to go on forever. Hot, tired, and drained, Jenni had done some serious soul-searching while finding herself in the heavy traffic leaving the coast after the Independence Day holiday.
She wasn’t at all certain about what she needed to do to make changes in her life, but she now was convinced she needed to do something.
She and Caitlin had had several long conversations after her debacle with Caleb, and she’d also taken several long solo walks on the beach in an effort to come to terms with her fears and her feelings.
She couldn’t understand why she cared about Caleb so much but just couldn’t seem to get rid of her insecurities and her fears.
She was hurting in the same way that she’d hurt with Compy, but she despised her ex-husband.
If she was being completely honest with herself, she knew that she had more than just passing feelings for Caleb.
Still, she hurt either way, so what good was it to try to love someone?
By the time she reached her apartment, she had resolved to do two things. The first was to pay a visit to her Uncle Ron and tell him all about her offshore fishing adventures. The thought of that visit made her feel a bit lighter.
She was very fond of her uncle who was her dad’s oldest brother. With no children of his own and his wife, her Aunt Lenore, gone some ten years now, he no doubt was lonesome for family.
She’d been remiss in not visiting him more often.
The second thing was to put Compy and Caleb both out of her mind.
Compy was the past and she had to accept that. He had caused her more pain than she’d ever felt in her life, but he was gone now. Nothing would change what had happened there.
And Caleb just brought the whole Compy thing to life. She was simply unable to separate the two.
Crazy maybe, she admitted to herself, but forgetting him too would make her life easier. He might seem different and have his own hurts. But who could tell?
No, forgetting about him was for the best. She would convince herself of that.
She’d focus on other things, she’d stay busy with work and with teaching, and she’d be fine. Those would be her goals between now and the end of the year. She’d surely be able to accomplish them with ease.
It took her about a month to settle on a date with her uncle who, surprisingly to her, was busier than she expected. He couldn’t even find a weekend in August that he didn’t already have plans for.
In a way, that knowledge put Jenni’s mind at ease. At least he wasn’t sitting around doing nothing.
