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SeaAnna was quietly humming to herself as she drove down Highway 12. Normally, when Mike was driving, she would be looking at her phone and not really paying much attention to the scenery. But since she was driving today, she seemed to suddenly notice the wild beauty of the island. In the fall, it was so much quieter. The angle of the sun was softer, and the gold of the sea oats stood in contrast to the blue skies. There were clouds today, and the forecast for the weekend wasn’t the best. But today was an enjoyable day for a drive on this national scenic by-way, and she wondered why she really hadn’t paid it much attention before.
Of course, in her heart she knew why. She had always resented having to come back here. It never really felt like home to her. But if she was totally honest with herself, she never let it feel like home.
After she left for college, her visits home were brief and usually contentious. As years passed, Raleigh was where her friends were, where she and Mike built their home, and where they had made their life together.
Somehow, Hatteras seemed to fade into the background and she’d really made no effort to let it move from that spot. Even on the occasional visits to see Susan, she rarely took advantage of the beach or of any of the other beautiful areas on the island. She would “do her duty” as she sometimes put it to Mike, and then quickly return to where she felt more comfortable and accepted. Mike never fully understood her feelings, at least not until recently. Maybe now they could try to appreciate the island for what it was – a part of her history that was important and deserved a little better.
When she got closer to Susan’s, her attention turned to the reason she was making this trip. She was going to meet her biological father. The enormity of this entire situation was not lost on her, but her feelings these past days had vacillated wildly. On some days, she was excited and happy. On other days, she felt unsure of herself and her emotions. She had promised herself, and Mike, that she would meet Chris with an open mind and wouldn’t run head strong in any direction. Probably easier said than done, but she’d give it a try.
Obviously, she’d be staying with her mom, so Susan’s thoughts and feelings would no doubt come into play. She’d hoped after meeting Chris, she and Susan could have a good heart to heart talk. She laughed to herself.
So often she’d heard of the crazy dynamics of other families and think how lucky she was. But now she realized she had ignored important issues in her own family. This weekend would be a time to continue the healing journey started this summer.
Things with Jo were going exceedingly well, and she found real happiness in that. Hopefully, she and her mom could continue their dialogue, and she and Chris would…would what? Start to get to know one another. That made sense to her as a first step.
She pulled into the driveway and saw Susan puttering with something on the porch railing. She was glad she’d left Raleigh around noon so that they’d have a bit of time this evening to relax. Tomorrow morning would come soon enough.
“So glad you’re here,” Susan called out as SeaAnna unloaded her overnight bag and headed up the stairs. “How was the drive?”
“Actually, it was OK,” SeaAnna replied. “I don’t think I ever really appreciated how this place looks in the fall. Everything seems to have a softer edge to it. It’s kind of calming.”
“It is, when the weather is nice. I’m glad you drove today because I think there will be some rain later tomorrow, and unfortunately, all day Sunday when you drive back. Wish you could stay longer. I’ve been kind of lonesome. With Jo’s break erased, I really was happy to know you were coming again, although I’m not sure what tomorrow will bring for you. Are you sure this is what you want?”
“Yes, but let’s leave that conversation for now, Mom. I brought a few things to fix for supper tonight and a bottle of wine for us to share. Let’s just enjoy that, shall we?”
Susan nodded her acquiescence and soon they were busy in the kitchen. Susan put on some light, soft classical music and they passed the evening talking about everything but Chris. Both of them were pleased with Jo’s progress at UNCW, and Susan brought SeaAnna up to speed on all of the latest gossip on the island. It seemed no time at all before they were sitting in the dark, sunset coming earlier now. It was around nine that SeaAnna yawned.
“Mom, we could go on and on, I know. But it was a long drive for me, and I’d like to try to get a good night’s sleep.
“What time is your, um, appointment tomorrow?” asked Susan trying to sound as disinterested as possible.
“We’re meeting at the Tides for coffee around eight-thirty. We figured it would be relatively quiet then. Whatever boats are going out will be gone, and the rest are probably done for the season. Will I see you in the morning?”
“I think I’ll try to sleep in. I’ll see you later in the day.”
SeaAnna knew what her mother was doing by avoiding her prior to her leaving in the morning but she said nothing.
“OK, then,” she said as she walked over to give Susan a small hug. “We’ll talk later.”
She went into the room that was normally Jo’s during the summer. Bits and pieces of her daughter were still in existence in the room. There were photos, clippings, books, and even clothes. Susan just left the room that way, and SeaAnna realized that this place was a huge part of Jo’s life. SeaAnna and Mike had helped make it that way in some regards by allowing her all those summers away, but she really believed Jo would have come to love this island no matter what, even if she’d never visited until she was eighteen.
It must be genetic, she’s so much like her grandmother. Except, of course, with respect to Chris. Where would she, SeaAnna, fall on that scale? She had that one thought before she fell asleep.
When she opened her eyes, she was startled to realize she hadn’t woken up at all during the night.That hasn’t happened in a long, long time,she thought to herself.Must be the salt air and my being tired. But I do feel refreshed.
She showered and had a couple of pieces of toast just to settle the butterflies in her stomach. She wasn’t trying to be noisy, just moving around normally, but Susan’s door remained closed. She sat in quiet reflection until about a quarter after eight, then left the house, got into her car, and headed to the docks. She didn’t want to seem too eager, but then, she didn’t want to be late. That would be rude and there was no reason to go down that road. First impressions, after all.
She pulled into the lot at the Tides but didn’t see the burgundy work van anywhere. It was twenty-five past the hour. She decided she could really use a coffee right then, so she walked into the restaurant to order. There, alone at a table facing the water, was a sandy and gray-haired gentleman who reminded her a bit of herself and of Jo. He heard her walk in and looked up.
“You must be SeaAnna.” Chris stood up and beckoned her over to the table. He could see Jo in her and Susan too but maybe a bit of himself? He tried to be calm. “It is my pleasure to meet you. I mean, I am thrilled. I mean, please sit down. Wow. I guess I’m kind of nervous.”
SeaAnna walked to the table with her heart racing. “I thought I’d gotten here first. I didn’t see the van everyone’s been telling me about. I had a speech all prepared for when you’d walk in, but now that’s gone out the window. I’m guess I’m nervous too.”
“The truck is in the shop. I thought I’d better have it checked out before I head back north. It’s been through a lot these past few months. But that’s shop talk.”
He motioned to the server and she came to take SeaAnna’s order. “Just black coffee, please.”
Chris smiled. “Well, we can start there, I guess. I take mine black too. Always have.”
