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He scratches his jaw and releases a long exhale. ‘I can’t think of a single thing that’s disappointing about you.’
It makes my breath catch, but then I remember that Finn’s like this with everyone. I mean, I’ve seen him give bedroom eyes to Belinda, for god’s sake. But we’re not likethat. We can’t be. He was dropped into my life at the exact moment I needed a scapegoat, and I have to keep him in that friend-shaped box for however long he stays in London. Nothing else would work. Nothing else would make sense.
I head towards the front door but he reaches it first and holds it open. For a few moments, we’re in a standoff. I refuse to move, scowling at him for being, well, him, I guess.
His eyebrows raise in amusement. ‘Just walk through the door, Ava.’
‘Don’t tell me what to do,’ I challenge.
He folds his arms and leans against the door. Stopleaning,youbitch. It’s not helpful. ‘Did I do something wrong?’
‘No.’ I close my eyes and my exhale mixes with the evening air between us. ‘I’m just in my head about something. Thank you for being the delightfully chivalrous, door-opening man that you are.’
‘You have a real talent for making compliments sound like insults.’
I slide past him and he follows close behind. ‘And you have an affinity for receiving insults as compliments, so I guess that’s why the universe stuck us together.’ I lock the door in three places, pulling the handle to triple-check. ‘That, and a perverse desire to challenge me.’
The easy demeanour is back, and he cocks his head to one side. ‘Challenge you how?’
‘To see how long it’ll take for me to get so exasperated by your facts and endless chatting that I bar you from the shop.’
‘There’s gotta be a part of you that loves it, because so far, I haven’t even been kicked out once.’
‘There’s always time, Finn. But not tonight, because I have plans.’
I need this date, and at least five accompanying shots. My phone lights up with two more texts from Max.
Officially six years old
They (I) grow up so fast
Six years since wordless bargains with the universe that I’d make all over again if I had to. Since enough tears were shed to fill one side of the scales and tip the balance in our favour. And yet, as triumphant as today should be, familiar wisps of smoke skulk around the edges of my brain at the memory of our family being in that dark place.
‘You’re wrong, anyway,’ Finn says, lightly bumping his shoulder against mine. His uneven smile is morning light burning through fog, and miraculously, the shadows retreat, and my head feels a little lighter. ‘The universe stuck us together so that we could laugh at frighteningly anatomically-correct frothy milk dicks together.’
A laugh flurries out of me. ‘How does it feel knowing you just said a sentence that no one in the world has ever said before?’ I can’t help but groan at the memory of that ridiculous latte art. ‘Fuck, I hate that I laughed at that. It was a one-off. I’m actually an extremely delicate lady.’
‘No it wasn’t, and no you’re not.’ His gaze sweeps across my face, then slowly moves down my neck, then even lower, lingering on the lace-edged neckline of my corset. My pulse flutters wildly in response. His jaw tightens when he meets my eyes again. ‘You are completely indecent.’
He says it like a prayer.
The silence lasts a second too long. My body’s on high alert, so I clear my throat. ‘What I am is someone who has to leave. I only have twenty minutes to psych myself up for an evening of pretending I enjoy the company of men.’
If there was any tension between us, it drifts into the night with the sound of his laugh, and it reminds me that he can snap out of this like it’s nothing, like he didn’t just send my stomach tumbling out into the ether. He is not for me. I’d do well to remember that.
‘Look, it’s okay if you still find dicks funny,’ he says. ‘Happens to the best of us.’ I scowl at him before marching away. I can hear the smile in his voice when he calls out behind me, ‘This is a no-judgement zone!’
22
turns out honesty is not, in fact, the best policy
A V A
‘Can you feel howmuch I want you? How much my cockneedsyou?’ Aiden breathes into my ear, mattress squeaking as he shifts position. He pulls me onto his chino-covered groin with a huff and I note that I can, in fact, feel how much he wants me. Quite aggressively, actually.
I assume his question is rhetorical, so I put my lips to his in the hope it’ll make him stop talking, and it works for a while. The kiss is a bit sloppy, and by that I mean his tongue is so far inside my mouth I’m convinced I just felt it hit my small intestine, but it’s been a while since I’ve had any action and I’m willing to overlook a lack of finesse this time. It’ll be fine.
‘Tell me how much you want this cock.’
