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“I’m okay. I think.” I look down at the shirt I’m wearing, a black Henley that smells like leather and vanilla, the scent I’ve grown so used to that it feels like home. “Are my dad and Bree okay?”
He cups my cheek in his hand, and I immediately lean into the touch, drawing in the comfort he offers. “Yes. They’re both fine. They’re just in the next room.”
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “Is everyone else okay?”
He sighs and brushes his thumb over my bottom lip, his eyes searching my face as if reminding himself that I’m here with him. “Nathan Hayes is dead. He was shot by one of Spade’s men, and by the time they got him out it was too late, he’d lost too much blood.”
I gasp, tears filling my eyes. I don’t remember much of him, but there are snippets from my childhood when he and my dad would get together. “Bryant and the others?”
“They’re all fine. Just shaken. Their world is being tipped on its head. The underworld in the city is scrambling with the fall of two of its leaders and they’re grappling with getting control of their own organization while grieving their father.”
I don’t know that they were ever particularly close, but my heart aches for each of the brothers and for what they’re going to be faced with in the coming months. I don’t need to have ever worked for a criminal organization to know that it’s unlikely the loss of their father will be the hardest thing they’re faced with.
I’m startled by a knock at the door, and Doc instinctively places his body between me and whoever is on the other side. I wonder how long it will be before he stops assuming every bump is a threat to me, but after all I’ve put him through, I’ll let him be as overbearing as he needs until he gets it out of his system.
I glance around Doc to see my dad and Bree standing in the doorway, their eyes glassy as they stare at the two of us, but they waste no time rushing toward my bedside.
“Oh honey.” My dad is the first to wrap me in his arms, but they feel foreign now.
Although marrying Doc quickly became the best thing to ever happen to me, all of this was set into motion because of his actions. I can see that now. I can see that all Doc did to contribute to the fall of our family was be a shitty husband. He didn’t love Clarissa in the same way she loved him, but it was her actions that led to her death, and it was my father’s that led us to where we are today. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine, Dad.” I glance between the two of them, assessing them both for any obvious injuries. “I’m sorry it took us so long to realize you were missing. Are you okay?” I reach for Bree’s hand and squeeze it.
“They didn’t hurt us,” she tells me. “We were only there as bargaining chips and we played our part. Honestly, it was kinda just a holiday in a really nice house with every television channel you can think of.”
I choke on a laugh before hissing out a breath, my hand falling to where Spade stabbed me. “Only you could see being kidnapped as a vacation.”
Doc hovers at the end of the bed, his eyes flicking between the three of us with uncertainty. It’s not exactly an emotion I ever expected to see on his face. He’s always been so sure of himself that he’s rarely faltered during our relationship. But something has changed and it fills me with anxiety.
Does he not want me anymore?
“Did you hear? The Hayes boys are going to take care of Spade.” Bree beams, like her time within the criminal underbelly of the city has desensitized her to the fact someone is going to be murdered, probably painfully considering their father just died.
I smile. “That’s great news! I hope they’re doing okay. I can’t imagine it’s easy losing their dad and then having the weight of the organization on their shoulders.”
“They’ll be okay. Nathan was training them for a long time to take over for him,” Dad tells me. “But at least now it will be safe for you to come home.”
I stare at him for a moment, my brows tugging together in confusion. This isn’t my home anymore. My home is wherever Doc is, and that realization brings a smile to my face.
I look up to the end of the bed, my breath stuttering in my throat as I watch Doc retreat, the tension in his shoulders so tight I can’t help but worry about his wound.
Where is he going?
Is that what he wants? For me to leave Chicago and return to my life before him? Because I don’t know if I’m capable of losing him.
CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE
DOC
Islam the balcony door closed behind me as emotions I’ve never felt before rocket through me.
She’s going to leave me.
She’s going to walk away and go back to the life she had before I came back into it.
There’s no reason for her to stay in Chicago with me when she can return to her life, to her friends, to her family.
I’m going to lose her.
