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Already making her name in modeling, Yana had been exposed to men and women wanting things from her. Her mother wanted the fame and fortune she’d lost by giving birth to Yana at a young age. Her alcoholic, mostly absent father wanted forgiveness in his rare moments of sobriety. How could she forgive someone who held no significance in her life except as a sperm donor?
The simple acceptance she’d received from an experienced, worldly man like Nasir had been like standing in sunbeams. Giving her the thing she’d craved most, he’d made her feel worthy of it.
There was magic in such unconditional acceptance.
She’d fallen for him with all the passion and intensity of first love, ready to sacrifice everything at his feet, follow him around the world with her heart in her eyes. Hence her pathetic seduction attempt. Just thinking of it now made her cringe in the shower.
And when he’d inevitably rejected her, with such brutal, cutting words that she’d forever lost not only her self-esteem but also his trust, she’d shattered. When her mother had found her running back to her room, tears running down her cheeks, Yana had lied to her that he’d kissed her.
Letting out a feral groan, Yana pressed her forehead to the pristine tile of the wall. It had been the stupidest trick she’d ever played in her life. In one stroke, with one foolish lie told out of the fear of making Diana angry, she’d made Nasir loathe her.
It was the same way she’d behaved with Thaata, too. The more she’d wanted her grandfather’s approval, the more she’d acted against her own self-interests, against her own well-being.
Never again. Never again would she let her self-worth be decided by anyone else. Not her mother. Not her grandfather. And definitely not Nasir.
Stepping out of the shower, Yana wiped the moisture from the large mirror and stared at her reflection. A smile broke through the worried twist of her mouth. She’d been in that chaotic, self-damaging place before and she’d clawed her way out of it. This time there was the added motivation of ensuring a five-year-old’s well-being and happiness.
A girl just like her, wanting nothing but love from the adults around her. A chance for Yana to make sure Zara’s life was different from what her own had been. She’d give the little girl all the attention and affection she’d always craved from Jacqueline, like Yana had craved from Diana.
And just maybe this three-month stint with Nasir and Zara was the universe throwing her a bone. She needed a place to recoup the loss she’d sustained, recover from her mother’s betrayal and plan how to get her life back on the right path. On a different path. A path chosen by her and her alone.
She’d do it all without letting herself be swallowed up by the man who’d made her believe in herself a long time ago.
CHAPTER FOUR
ITWASAmonth later that Yana found herself aboard Nasir’s private jet on the way to one of the tiny islands that made up Bali, after her last modeling shoot for a while. She hadn’t wanted to keep him waiting once she’d agreed to his proposition, but it was impossible for her to just check out of her world for three months at a moment’s notice, just because he demanded it. When she’d presented him with the various demands on her schedule, he’d agreed that she couldn’t leave with him readily enough. But of course, she should’ve known that he wouldn’t simply take her at her word.
As if things weren’t confusing enough, he’d stayed with her, followed her wherever work took her, staying at the same penthouse suite at the same luxury hotel when she’d returned for Nush and Caio’s wedding. The picture of them together in that elevator had run in an online gossip rag, which had eventually come to Mira’s notice.
Yana had given her sister a sanitized version of their fight and their subsequent agreement. Ever the practical and strategic Reddy sister, Mira had given Yana the best advice.
Treat it as a job.Be professional.
While Yana could see the simple yet profound wisdom in it, barely an hour since they’d taken off, she’d found it hard to implement.
Tapping her fingers on the armrest of her seat now, she studied the understated elegance of the aircraft’s interior. Thanks to her modeling career, she’d traveled all over the world, to exotic destinations, no less. But her mode of transport hadn’t always been this luxurious. Still, she could catalog the minor differences from when she’d traveled in such a cocoon of luxury.
The aircraft was state-of-the-art, but like Nasir, there was a quiet, industrial-type elegance to it rather than the flashy extravagance that most rich men she knew exemplified. Neither did she doubt that it was an efficient mode of transport for a man who traveled all over the Middle East and South Asia, instead of being a status symbol.
She’d had a month of him trailing her like a shadow, showing up at her shoots and events and even at her meetings with all manner of people, but Yana was still nowhere near used to his presence.
For the first time since she’d known him, she was going to get an exclusive glimpse into his very private life. When he and Jacqueline had been married, all the parties and gatherings that Jacqueline had hosted, even as a couple, had been at her apartment in Paris, or in New York.
Yana had even overheard a fight between them when he’d refused to open up his estate—wherever it was—for one of Jacqueline’s “outrageous, drunken soirees” as he’d called them.
“You’re jumpy and fidgety. Is there something you require?”
Straightening her pink satin jacket with exaggerated care, Yana counted to twenty before she turned to face him. For the past hour, she’d tried to treat him as part of the very elegant, luxurious background. It shouldn’t have been hard with his long nose buried in the documents in front of him.
“Is the fidgeting and jumpiness bothering you?” she asked, with a saccharine sweetness that made even her teeth ache.
If only she could continue to ignore his magnetic presence. But it was like ignoring the sun while orbiting him in the sky.
“No.” His answer came so reluctantly that Yana laughed.
“Lies.”
“Okay, fine, yes. It bothers me. Do you need something?”
