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“Exactly.”
We sit in silence for a minute, the clank of silverware sounding all around us, the chatter of patrons a sort of white noise.
“Maybe you could come with me later and look at it?” he asks, peering up at me from beneath his thick lashes.
Fuck, man.
Never in my life have I wished for someone to pull the fire alarm so badly.
“Oh… I would, but… I actually have some things to do today,” I say, scrambling for anything to get out of house hunting with him.
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I… have to go check on my car. And deal with the insurance,” I say, hoping that sounds believable, but this is Sander, and it’s in his nature to ask questions. Something I really am not a fan of these days.
“Are they hassling you? I can go with you, talk to someone, do the house after?” His hopeful tone only makes me feel even shittier about lying to him.
“No. No. Nothing like that. Just tying loose ends,” I say, and pray he doesn’t ask any more questions.
“Ah,” he nods. “So… you want me to go with you?”
“You don’t have to do that.” I force a smile and wave off the offer.
“Well yeah, I know I don’t have to,” he says.
I laugh it off like he’s just the funniest guy and I’m not internally dying right now.
“Nah, don’t worry about it, dude. I got it covered. Thanks though.”
I watch the light in his eyes dim and want to just bury my head in the sand. Why am I being such a chicken shit about this? Fuck, I suck, man.
“But hey, if you want to send me pics of the house, you totally can,” I offer, hoping to make it up to him a little bit, but at this point I think he can see that I’m just trying to placate him.
“Yeah,” he nods, forcing a smile of his own, “sure. If you change your mind, just let me know.” He downs the last of his coffee and pushes his plate away from him, clearly finished and ready to get as far away from this awkward mess as I am.
He throws a few bills down on the table and refuses my offer to pay for my half. Still a gentleman, even after I was a total shit friend. I totally don’t deserve him, but I know that one day he’s going to find someone who will appreciate him in ways I just can’t make myself.
As soon as I finish, we’re standing and stretching out our legs, waving goodbye to Debbie and promising her that we’ll come back and visit her soon. Though, I may end up doing that alone.
San walks me to my car, and I hug him goodbye before clambering in behind the wheel. I feel like shit. I never wanted to hurt him, but honestly, if he would have just taken the hint months ago, we wouldn’t be in this predicament now.
Still, this is just one more issue to pile on to the mess that is my life.
Chapter 34
The sounds of shouting and drawers slamming shut come from my dad’s office. I pick up my pace a little, rounding the corner to see papers scattered across his desk and parts of the floor.
“It just makes no damn sense,” my dad yells again.
As I take a step closer, I can see a man standing just inside. Someone I’ve never seen before. He’s broad shouldered and stoic. Hair buzzed short, close to his scalp. His eyes track my dad’s every movement. Not in the way a hawk might trail its prey, but in more of a train wreck sort of way, unable to take his eyes off the scene before him.
I don’t have any idea what is going on, but my instinct to protect has me approaching the doorway. My dad may not give two shits about me, but that doesn’t mean I’ll just stand by and let something bad happen.
But the man never moves toward my dad. Not once.
Even when I step into the open doorway, he only cuts his eyes toward me for the briefest of seconds. Acknowledging my existence, before refocusing on my dad.
“What’s going on?” I ask, bracing for the attitude that typically accompanies his tantrums.
