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“Did it suck to be turned down by you? Yeah. But I’ll get over it. It may not be today, or even tomorrow, but it’ll happen,” he says.
I frown, knowing that this is way more difficult than he’s letting on. He casts his eyes across the room, avoiding eye contact, and rubbing his hand over the back of his neck.
I wipe the piteous look from my face and clear my throat.
“So, we’re okay?” I ask.
His lopsided smile sends a wash of relief over me, and I sag into his side as he wraps an arm around my shoulders.
“Yeah, we’re okay,” he says. “It helps to know that Bodhi isn’t half as bad as I initially thought he’d be.”
I laugh and shake my head.
“Oh, trust me; he’s a pain in the ass, but he’s a really good person,” I say, meaning every word. I don’t want to go too over the top, knowing Sander is still licking his wounds.
“I’d have to agree with you on that one,” he says. We sit silent for a moment before he’s clearing his throat.
“He really loves you, K,” he says. His gravelly voice is full of emotion. I lean in a little closer, only hoping to bring him a fraction of comfort.
“I know,” I say.
“He told me what’s been going on,” he says.
My heart sinks. I know Bodhi said I needed to trust that Sander wouldn’t do anything about everything I’ve been up to, but after watching what happened to Eli, I can’t help it.
“San,” I say, ready to explain, but he stops me.
“I get it. You’ve never been one to ask for help, but this time around, I wish you had. And I know why you didn’t, but damn… this could have been so much worse than it was,” he says, shaking his head, staring at his feet.
Guilt weighs heavily on me, and I feel like a small child being reprimanded. I hate disappointing the people I love, and in a way, it feels like I’ve disappointed San.
“You could have trusted me, you know?” he says, softly.
“I know, but… San, I didn’t want you wrapped up in that,” I whisper, snaking my arm through his.
“But it’s my job to protect. Not just this town, but you, too. Even though you don’t want to be protected, I promised your brother I would do everything in my power to keep you safe,” he admits, and I knew he had, but in those words, the weight behind them changes.
“San… he would have hurt you,” I say, the words barely loud enough to reach his ears, but they do. “The things he said he’d do to you if I mentioned anything… I couldn’t… it would have killed me to see you hurt because of me,” I say, a single tear spilling down over my cheek.
His eyes search mine. For what, I’m not sure, but it’s like he decides to pull back at the last second, nodding his head in understanding.
“I would have reacted the same way. But you have to know that we aren’t going to stand by anymore and let that asshole harass you,” he says, and his tone drops to one that’s much less easily swayed. “Words and threats are one thing, but this,” he gestures to my body, eyes scanning my face, “this is crossing the line, and I won’t stand for it.”
My chest aches with emotion, and I know he’s one-hundred percent serious. Nodding in understanding, I lean my head against his shoulder.
“I know, just promise me you’ll be safe. Both of you,” I say, and he promises they will.
“You’re my best friend, Keaton. Nothing will ever change that. Above all else, that you can be certain of,” he says.
We sit there, the light in the room fading as the sun disappears behind the copse of trees surrounding the property.
I isolated myself for so long that I forget how good it felt to have people I could count on. The ability to lean on someone and not be looked down on for it. My life is filled with so many people who care about me, and it’s about time I accepted that.
When San sees just how tired I’m getting, he gives me one last hug and stands, offering to get Bodhi for me before he goes.
“Hey, San,” I say, stopping him just as he’s about to leave the room.
“Yeah?”
