AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yeah, I knew that part,” I say, still trying to digest everything.
“I couldn’t risk losing my babies and having my parents on the streets. I didn’t think I had any other choice. You know your father. You know how he is. Bodhi, please… please forgive me,” her cries turn into inconsolable sobbing, and I stand from my place on the couch and move around the table separating us to kneel down in front of her.
“Mom, please don’t cry,” I say, pulling her to my chest, rubbing soothing circles on her back.
I guess in all of this, over the course of the last twenty-three years, I never stopped once to consider that maybe she was just as much a victim to his actions as I was.
As I hold her, I understand now the weight she carried around all of these years. It's heartbreaking to think that my mother had to endure such a life, raising me and my brother, all while being trapped in a loveless marriage. Being threatened and mistreated, unable to be with the person who clearly loved her.
Rob.
I know that he still feels some of that love for her, too. Even though he and Aunt Cynthia were married and had Madelyn. Since her passing last fall, I can see how lonely he’s been.
It’s a long shot, and maybe even out of the question after all of these years, but I wonder if they might still have a chance at a happy ending.
She deserves that. They both do after the hell my dad has put them through.
"I don't know if I can forgive him, Mom," I say, my voice barely above a whisper. "But I can forgive you."
She looks up at me, her eyes red and puffy from crying, and she gives me a weak smile.
“Really?”
“Yeah, Mom, really. I understand now why you did what you did. And I’m sorry for not realizing it sooner. I want us to be able to heal from this and move on.”
"Thank you, Bodhi," she says, wiping away a tear. "I know I don't deserve it, but thank you."
“There’s another reason I came here today,” I say, taking a deep, steadying breath.
“What is it?” she asks, understandably hesitant.
“I’m quitting Kane’s Racing,” I say, fast and to the point like ripping off a band-aid.
“What? But Bodhi—”
“I can’t do it anymore, Mom. I’ll never live up to whatever expectation he has for me. I’ll never deserve to sit behind the wheel of that car. I will never be able to replace Tommy, and he hates me for that,” I say, a swell of emotion getting stuck in my throat.
“Oh, baby,” my mom says, reaching out and cupping my cheek.
“It’s okay. I get it, but I can’t continue to listen to him berate me for shit that is out of my control. I’m not happy, Mom. I haven’t been for a long time.”
I sniffle, blinking back the sting of tears.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” she asks, and on some level, I think she knows that fighting with me about it won’t get either of us anywhere.
“Yeah, I am,” I say.
“Well then,” she says, taking my hands in hers. “If that’s what you want, then you have my blessing,” she says.
I don’t need it, but the fact that she has my back on this means everything to me.
“Thank you,” I say, standing and pulling her with me before drawing her into a hug.
I remember the days when I was so much smaller than her, surrounded by the comfort of her arms. For a moment, as she rocks me side to side, I feel like that small boy again. If only the world could stop for a moment longer.
“What will you do?” she asks, drawing back to look up at me.
“I don’t know yet, but I asked Rob for help. He has some ideas, but nothing solid just yet,” I tell her.
