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I tilt my head to the side in question. How does she know where Keaton lives?
“You know your father has his ways,” she sighs, as if to say, why even ask?
“Yeah, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”
“Yes, well, that comment the other night was more for me than it was for her, I think. Please tell her how sorry I am for his behavior that night,” she says, and I freeze, the blood draining from my face.
She has no idea.
Surely it had to be on the news, right?
I don’t even know if my mom watches the news these days. Hell, did she ever. I suddenly don’t recall a day I ever saw her watch anything that wasn’t for Tommy and I. My dad doesn’t watch TV. He says it’s beneath him.
But I realize, as she sits there staring at me, concern wrinkling the corners of her eyes, that she, in fact, does not know.
“Bodhi, what is it?” she asks, scooting until she’s perched on the edge of her chair like she might jump to my aid at any moment.
“Keaton was, uh… she was in an accident two days ago. She’s in the hospital now,” I tell her, ready to get back to her side as soon as I fill mom in on everything here.
She gasps, covering her mouth with the tips of her manicured fingers.
“Oh honey, I’m so sorry. Is she okay?” she asks, her eyes searching mine.
“She’s still unconscious, but the doctors are really optimistic,” I tell her, not wanting to get too into the topic right now. This isn’t why I came here today.
Mom nods, relieved to hear that Keaton is alright, but the worry doesn’t leave her eyes entirely.
“Bodhi, I know I messed up. I should have told you. I should have found a way to make it right, but I didn’t, and for that, I am so sorry,” she says, her voice quivering.
I take a deep breath, trying to control the anger and frustration bubbling inside me.
“It’s not just that you didn’t tell me, Mom. It’s that you let him treat me like shit my entire life, never once sticking up for me or telling me the truth about who I am,” I say, my voice rising a bit.
“I know, and I am so sorry. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I hope you can find it in your heart to understand why I did what I did,” she says, her eyes pleading with me.
I let out a sigh, not wanting to argue with her, but still needed to know.
“Why did you just stand by all those years?”
I think I know the reason, but I want to hear her say it.
“Bodhi, you have to understand, I had nothing before your father—”
“So, it was the money, then?” I snap, cutting her off.
“Never!” her shrill cry rang out in the otherwise empty room.
“Then what, Mom?”
“I had no money and nothing of my own, other than you boys, and he would have taken you both from me in a second if I didn’t comply with every order he issued,” she hisses ever word through gritted teeth, the reality of her words heavier than I ever imagined.
“He… he threatened to take us away?” I ask, never thinking he would have gone so far as to separate our family.
“He would have kicked me out. Forbade me from seeing you ever again. When I brought up the topic of his image, he said that with his poor sickly wife having to be institutionalized, he would garner only pity from the public, and pity was much better than the shame he said I caused him.”
I sit there, completely dumbfounded. My mom was never sick when I was growing up, but to know that he wouldn’t have had any qualms about lying like that to save face… I always thought he was an asshole, but to hear these things from my mother, it paints him in a completely different light. One I wasn’t prepared for.
“Not only that, but he swore to stop caring for Nana and Pops,” she continues.
