Page 5 of I Was Always Yours


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I sent that text two days ago now, and I’ve been glued to my phone ever since. The one thing I fucking hate—and kinda love—about WhatsApp is their delivery system. You can see when someone has got your message, which is a relief, but then you wait for them to read it. Even worse than that is when they read it, but they don’t reply. That’s essentially what happened to me.

Emmaleigh read the message almost as soon as I sent it, but she hasn’t replied. I’ve been checking every hour, hoping that she hasn’t been back online, as that would mean she isn’t ignoring me. She’s just busy. But each time I check and see the time she last logged in has changed, that’s when I realised she probably will not reply. It doesn’t change the fact I have been glued to my phone. Every slight notification, every message ping, I’m there in a flash to check if it’s her. Then I have to ignore the ache in the pit of my stomach when it’s not her name.

I’ve started talking to another girl, Frankie, and honestly, she seems nice. We have a lot in common, and I probably should just ask her out on a date, but there’s something holding me back. I never date or talk to two girls at the same time, it just doesn’t feel right, and so accepting a date with Frankie would be like admitting that I’ve blown it with Emmaleigh. Something I’m just not quite ready to face yet.

I’m laying on my bed, just staring up at the ceiling when there’s a knock on my bedroom door. Did I forget to mention that I still live at home with my parents? I know some people would frown upon this, and that they are in a mad rush to get away from their parents, but that couldn’t be further from the truth for me. I love mine, and I have such an amazing relationship with my mum—she’s like my best friend. So they give me freedom to come and go as I please, and they treat me like an adult, not a kid anymore, which was important to me.

But the biggest factor was that I only have to pay like a hundred pounds a week, which means the rest of my wages belong to me. Not a bad price considering I get all my food cooked, washing and ironing done, and all my bills are included, too. Why anyone would want to move out and give up all those benefits is beyond me. But, my number one rule when I decided to stay at home is that my room is my safe space. Nobody comes in without my permission, and especially not if I’m not here. Mum agreed to this as long as I agreed to keep it tidy.

Looking over, I see the sliding lock isn’t on, and so I call out for whoever is on the other side to come in. Mum pushes the door open and comes to sit on the edge of the bed.

My mum’s only a small lady, probably around five feet tall, and she looks good for her age. All the Zumba classes she goes to means she has the body of a thirty-year-old, despite being in her sixties. Her shoulder-length brunette hair is always perfectly styled, and her face is always made up to fit the occasion. Even around the house, she’s rarely without makeup. Her flowery, baggy linen trousers, and her white flowy blouse make her look smart, even though I know she isn’t going out today.

Mum smiles at me with one that matches my own, and I sit up to hear what she has to say. “So, I want to talk to you about something important, if that’s okay?” she asks, her voice sombre, and that’s when I see the sadness on her face and that her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Are you okay, Mum?” I ask, fear gripping me as I wait and wonder what she’s going to say.

“I was talking to your sister earlier. Unfortunately, she’s had a bit of a falling out with Cain. You remember how she found out he was sleeping with one of her friends that she worked with? Well, Lena put her name down to get an apartment near here. She’s worried Cain won’t be with her for the long-haul so she wants to be close to us, to give her the support she needs with Hayden. They’re still working out all the move details, but Lena feels like Cain is dragging his heels. Personally, I think he’s depressed, but Lena’s obviously worried he’s cheating again. So, she’s asking if she can come and stay with us until she finds an apartment nearby. I think she’s hoping some time away from them will make Cain realise what he’s missing. Hayden’s only a couple of months old, so he really shouldn’t miss too much of these early years. I know having your sister move back home, along with baby Hayden, will be a big upheaval, so I wanted to get your opinion.” Mum picks at her hands as she talks, and the minute she finishes talking, she bites at her cheek. She’s worried I’m going to say no.

Initially, my instinct is to say that I don’t want to live with Lena, or have a baby in the house. But, the more I mull it over in my head, the more I realise that’s a massive douche move. My sister wouldn’t want to move home unless it was the absolute last resort. She loves having her freedom, and when we were growing up, the more she rebelled, the more she argued with our dad. She couldn’t wait to move out, so I’m guessing moving back, particularly when she had her whole future planned out with Cain, is not what she wants.

“Shit, I can’t imagine how Lena feels right now. Am I thrilled to have her home, or to be living with a baby? No, of course I’m not. But she’s family, and she needs our support, so I can get on board. Besides, it will give me a chance to spend a little more time with Hayden,” Before I’ve even finished speaking, Mum throws her arms around me and pulls me in for the biggest hug. For a little woman, she sure gives big, squeezing hugs, and I love them.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I realise Mum was worried I might kick off. “I was worried you would say no.”

Shaking my head. “I know I can be an asshole, but Lena needs somewhere, and I know you would never want to turn her down.” Mum chuckles and then playfully whacks me across my arm the way she does every time I swear in front of her.

“Language, Lee. So, you got another date tonight? When am I ever going to meet one of these girls?” she asks with a pout and I can’t help but roll my eyes.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the twenty-fourth of never!” I joke and again she playfully whacks my arm as she laughs. I grab hold of my bicep where she just hit me, and as dramatically as I can, I groan and fall backwards so I’m now laying on the bed. I make it sound like she’s injured me and she just laughs. We both know I’m distracting her from answering the date question. The truth is, I don’t know if she will ever meet one of the girls. At this stage, it will be a fucking miracle if I actually go on a date with someone I like. And even if I do, I don’t ever want a long-term relationship.

My mind drifts back to Emmaleigh, and I can’t help but think how much I’ve royally fucked that up before we even had a chance. Thankfully, Mum is here to distract me. She drags me downstairs for some dinner, which isn’t really a hardship. I don’t know anyone who would complain about having good, home-cooked food given to them every night without even having to ask for it.

After spending an hour or so just hanging out with Mum, I head back upstairs, realising I’d left my phone on my bed when I came downstairs. I actually had a moment when I thought how refreshing it was to not be staring at the damn thing every minute of every day. But when I pick it up and see the new notification that I missed, I can’t help but curse out loud.

Motherfucker. I leave my phone for an hour, and she finally messages me. I take some deep breaths and try to calm myself while I ignore the butterflies in my stomach and the jitter in my hands. Fuck, I’m not a teenage girl. Why am I getting so anxious and excited over a fucking text? What if she tells me to leave her alone? I know she would have probably just ghosted me for that, but you never know.

With shaky fingers, I take a deep breath, and press on the button to read the text from Emmaleigh.

GERTRUDE AKA EM

Hey, Carlos. Sorry for the late reply. I’ve been on nights and my body clock is all over the place. Thank you for your message, I’ve got to say I was a little surprised to hear from you again. My foot is almost healed. I still have a bit of physio to do, but it’s getting there. If you still want to go on a date, I would love to.

Holy shit! After all the crap that’s gone on between us, I never thought she would ever want to hear from me again. But she does, and she wants to meet me! Looks like I’m going on a date.

CHAPTERTHREE

EMMALEIGH

Standing in front of the mirror, I take in my outfit and my mind runs rampant. My dark ripped skinny jeans cling to my curves in all the right places, and they hold in my flabby bits just right. The off the shoulder black top is casual enough for a pub date, but the little display of skin and my bra strap makes it a little sexy. I’ve worn my best push-up bra too, since let’s be honest, guys love boobs.

My long, dark purple hair is curled and clipped up so that it hangs perfectly around my shoulders, with a few stray tendrils hanging to frame my face. I’m wearing a bit of makeup, including my dark eyeliner and mascara, to make my blue eyes pop even more. The bright red lipstick compliments my black attire and makes my plump lips look inviting. I know in my head I look good, but I can’t stop the anxiety from getting the better of me.

What if you aren’t dressed up enough?

What if he’s looking for someone a bit more girly?

Maybe you should wear a skirt?

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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