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“We just accept the payment that Jesus made on the cross. The Bible says that we have to repent. We have to understand that we’re sinners. Otherwise we wouldn’t feel like there needed to be a change and we wouldn’t understand that there had to be a payment.”
“I know there needs to be a payment. I don’t have any problem knowing that I’m a sinner.”
“That’s part of the reason salvation and God isn’t relevant today for most of society. People justify their sin, and refuse to even call it sin. I think maybe Christians have gone along with it to some extent, where we’re afraid to tell people that they’re sinners. We’re afraid to tell them that they’re doing something wrong. The world has made that a judgemental thing. And how can people know that they need a Savior if they don’t know that they’re doing anything wrong?”
“Well I think people know that they’re doing things wrong. But, it’s easier to pretend that you’re not doing anything wrong, if, first of all no one’s telling you, and second of all you turn the tables and make them feel like they’re wrong if they tell you that you’re wrong.”
Ellen laughed, knowing that Alaska was exactly right. That was one of the sneaky things the devil had done. He had made it so that it was wrong to tell people that they were sinners. How could they feel like they need a Savior if they didn’t know that they were sinners?
“After that, it’s easy. God takes everyone. There is no standard. All you have to do is know that you’re a sinner and turn from your sin. Because you can’t face God and face your sin at the same time. You can’t look to Jesus, and still look at your sin. So you have to look away from your sin and look to Jesus. That’s called repenting.”
“That’s something you don’t hear much about.”
“No. People don’t want to admit that there’s anything to repent from. They want everything that they do to be okay. But it’s not.”
“I know.”
“And that’s it. You have to turn from your sin, turn to Jesus. Confess that you're a sinner, and that you believe Jesus died in payment for your sin. That’s the bridge that takes you from being alienated with God, to being a member of God’s family. He adopts you. Makes you a child of His, just like Jesus, then when He looks at you, He sees the righteousness of Christ. Because the payment was made, and as far as God is concerned, there is no sin.”
“There’s no way God can’t see my sin.” Alaska said, as she pulled into the house, and parked the car, but didn’t make any move to shut it off or to get out.
“I could say the same thing. Anyone could. That’s so true. But God has given example after example of people in the Bible who were forgiven of sins that we would have thought would be too heinous for anyone to ever forgive. In fact, most of the New Testament was written by a man who persecuted Christians, had them arrested and sent to die, but God turned his life around and he became one of the most influential men in the history of the world after Jesus himself. The Bible makes it clear, God forgives anyone of anything as long as you repent from your sin, turn to Jesus, and trust in Him. God wanted to make it simple so that anyone could do it, even a child. He says that in the Bible too.”
“Sounds to me like if you’re going to be a Christian you need to know what the Bible says.”
“That would probably be my next recommendation. If you’re going to be a Christian, you need to read the Bible.”
“I think I need to think about this.”
“I think you do too. After all, I’d love for you to be a Christian, but it’s not up to me to convince you of that. It’s up to you to make the choice for yourself.”
Alaska nodded, and Ellen prayed as hard as she could that Alaska would make the choice to turn away from her sin, whatever it was, and turn to Jesus. It was a hard choice to make, because a lot of times, change was hard for any reason, but even though they hadn’t talked about changing their lifestyle, she could hardly turn from her sin, and turn to Jesus and continue the way she was. It was a change. And changes, even good ones, were scary and hard.
Chapter 20
Travis stirred, rolling his head from one side of the pillow to the other before his eyes flew open, and he sat straight up in bed. Alice!
He ripped the covers off and put both feet on the floor before he remembered that Ellen had her.
He sank back down, sitting on the side of the bed, but no longer in a panic.
Ellen. He smiled. She kissed him. Not like a friend.
For a moment he allowed his mind to drift back over all the years. Ellen in the parade. Ellen with her cow and her dog. Ellen with her baby pudge, her little girl face and chubby cheeks, her serious, conscientious, compassionate way. The way she’d been his friend no matter what. The way she’d forgiven him, over and over, for doing stupid things.
The day he’d seen her and realized that what he felt for her was a lot more than the benevolent way an older teenager looks at someone he considers a child. Realizing that he didn’t consider Ellen a child any longer. But also realizing that she wasn’t ready for the feelings that he had. Making the difficult decision to walk away, rather than do something that both of them would probably regret.
God had rewarded him, over and over, but especially earlier today, when he told her that he loved her and she said she loved him in return. The years of waiting, the years of praying that he was doing the right thing, that God would bring her into his life when she was ready, the uncertainty of whether or not he should continue with Ford, or whether he should be impatient and force things with Ellen. He was glad he had waited, but it hadn’t been easy.
And now, all the waiting, all the thinking, all the wishing she was his, was over, and... There were still some hurdles to overcome. Like what they were going to do with Alice.
Like...he should go to Tadgh and ask for her hand. It was an old-fashion gesture, but one that Travis thought should be honored.
Was that rushing things too much? It had been eight years since he first realized that he wanted her. It didn’t feel like he was rushing anything to him.
Maybe he should find out exactly how she felt before he embarrassed himself by going to her father, but it seemed like that was backwards. He ought to find out whether or not Tadgh would give him permission, before he pursued anything more with Ellen. He’d already kissed her. He probably shouldn’t have even done that.
Knowing that the world would think he was nuts. Knowing that they would laugh at the idea that a woman’s father should be consulted, and that she shouldn’t make up her own mind, Travis didn’t care. It was a matter of respecting the man who had raised Ellen, and giving him the honor that was his due. He wasn’t asking for Tadgh to hand Ellen to him, just asking for permission, to see if Tadgh felt like he was good enough to pursue after the woman he’d raised.
