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Talk about cake and eating it too.
As for Merritt, she talks about moving to Oakley like it was her homecoming. A return to the person she was before she got too scared and too closed off to realize what she actually wanted. Which is, apparently, a house on the edge of a marsh with abunch of rescue dogs, a raccoon, and a quiet, bearded man who loves her exactly as she is.
Me? I’ve always felt a connection to Oakley, but I’m not sure it’s in my blood quite like it is for my sisters. I’ve never even tried to imagine a long-term life living in a very sleepy beach town.
Icouldwork from anywhere. And if Ben were in Oakley, well … maybe I could get used to it if I really tried. Maybe I’d even like it.
But at what point does this kind of compromise become losing myself?
I don’t realize I’ve said this out loud until Eloise grips my hand tighter, giving me a squeeze. “You aren’t Mom, Sadie. Never have been. Never will be. You don’t need to worry that making compromises or choices for another person means giving up yourself.”
When did my youngest sister grow up and get so wise?
Apparently when I was sitting around being stubborn and running away from all my problems.
“You don’t have to have all the answers now,” Merritt says, ever logical. “All you need to know is whether or not you want to see if a relationship with Ben will work. You need to know if it’s worth giving a chance. Then you have to commit to the effort. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. And you’ll figure out what happens next, then. But if itdoes?”
She lets the question hang in the air. I close my eyes, allowing myself to consider what a life with Ben might look like. The billionaire thing is a perk, for sure. But it isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. The first thing I think of is the way it felt to have Ben taking care of me.
Then there’s the way he listens to me and anticipates how I might feel, working in advance to make sure I’m comfortable. It’s his love of history and the annoying way he’s committed topreserving Oakley’s old-school charm. It’s the way he treats his staff and gives back to his community.
He has some walls up, too. I’d rather he confront his father head-on than hide behind some silly image that doesn’t come close to reflecting the man he really is, but I also understand those walls. What are we all if not a complex mix of easy and complicated, good and bad, confidence and insecurity?
“I’m so scared,” I say more to myself than to my sisters. “I already like him so much.”
Eloise grins. “It’s a fun feeling, huh?”
I glare at her. “No.”
“Just lean into it,” Merritt says with a shrug. “Learn from my mistakes and stop running right now. Unless you’re runningtoBen, in which case, get the hell out of here and go find your man. I mean, there are worse things than marrying a billionaire.”
Eloise’s smile hasn’t dimmed the slightest bit. “One who has a yacht we can all agree is perfect for kissing.”
I snort. But the ache in my chest has eased. My brain is firing on all cylinders instead of flying at half-mast. Okay, so maybe my ability to make good analogies and avoid mixing metaphors is broken, but whatever.
My heart starts pounding in my chest. Idowant to give this a chance. Idowant to see what could happen. Idowant to stop running away for once.
And I want to find Ben. Right this very second.
I sit up a little taller, and Eloise squeals. “She’s gonna do it!” she says. “What do you need? What can we do to help?”
“I just need to find him,” I say. “I need to apologize for leaving.” I throw a hand over my face. “Oh man, why did I leave him? What was I thinking?”
“You were just scared,” Merritt says. “It’s normal. You’re human. Stop worrying about it and just go fix it.” She yawns. “But in the morning.”
“No way! I’m not waiting for morning. I’ll go now.”
Eloise looks at her watch. “Sadie, it’s two o’clock in the morning. Don’t go right now.”
“Just wait a few more hours,” Merritt says. “He’s probably asleep. And no one wants to have a rational relationship talk at this hour.”
“Um, we literally just did that,” I point out.
“You’ve made him wait this long,” Eloise says with a shrug. “A few more hours won’t hurt. Plus, you could use a shower.”
“Thanks for that,” I say drily. “Will one of you take me in the morning? This not having a car thing is for the birds.”
Eloise nods, her face totally serious as she says, “We ride at dawn.”
