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But that’s exactly how Idon’twant to be thinking.You won’t even need to workwas Justin’s line, smoothly delivered in a way that somehow didn’t feel patronizing at the time, even though now, looking back, I can’t imagine how I didn’t see it—see him—for what he was. Also, how little he knew me if he thought I wouldn’twantto work, even if I didn’tneedto.
Of course, you should finish your PhD,Justin said more than once. But there’s no reason to make plans beyond that. It isn’t as though you’ll have to work.
But I have a feeling Ben wouldn’t ask me not to work. He wouldn’t pressure me into moving to Oakley. For the last time: Ben isn’t Justin. They don’t exist in the same space. Period.
I may not have answers to any of these questions, but I do know I should probably not be deciding them alone. These are questions and decisions to makewithBen. Or else I’m being just as awful as Justin, making executive decisions for us both by myself.
“What am I supposed to do?” I say, my gaze shifting from one sister to the other. “I barely know Ben. It hasn’t even been a full week we’ve spent as a … couple-ishthing.”
“You can’t even sayrelationship, can you?” Merritt asks, the twitch in her lips the first sign of amusement I’ve seen all night.
“Shut up. I can say it.”
“So, say it. Re-la-tion-ship.”
“Relationship. There—said it.” I cross my arms. Eloise’s head swings back and forth between us, like she’s not sure if she should laugh or jump in.
“Try saying it in relation to yourself. Repeat after me:Ben and I are in a relationship.”
“I don’t need to say it,” I say.
“Because you can’t,” Merritt says.
“Stop being ridiculous. Seriously, though—how will this work? I can’t just uproot my life because we had some fun making out on his yacht.”
Eloise’s eyes turn wistful as she smiles. “Itisfun making out on that yacht.”
“Lo, that’s not the point,” Merritt says. She waits a beat. “Though Ialsoconcede that making out on the yacht is fun.”
Lo and I exchange twin expressions of shock. “You, Merritt Markham, made out on Ben’s yacht?” I ask.
Merritt arches a brow. “You know I’m married, right? And that married people do kiss. As well as many other things, which are also fun to do on yachts?—”
I gasp, and Lo bursts out laughing, thankfully cutting off Merritt giving us both a talk about the birds and the bees. I find myself smiling, forgetting for a few seconds about the gnawing ache inside me.
“The point,” Merritt says, bringing us back to order like the quintessential big sister, “is that it’s time to grow up and stop running. Especially when you’re running away from your own happiness.”
Lo hops up and moves so she’s sitting next to me on the tiny loveseat I’ve been occupying—and enjoying—all by myself. But this is Lo’s way. Confident. Comfortable in her own skin. Positive that everyone will be better off with a little bit of her sunshine in their life.
Which, despite my own love of snark, I can absolutely say I am.
Eloise reaches over and takes my hand. “Sadie, I know you said you’ve only known Ben for a week, but that’s not true. You’ve been getting to know Ben for almost two years. Since that very first time he snatched the phone out of my hand when I was on a video call with you. Do you remember?”
Of course, I remember. I made fun of what he was wearing, and we spent twenty minutes sniping back and forth, something that left me in such a great mood. A mood that lasted until a date I had that night with a guy who could hardly carry on a normal conversation, much less one that lit me up inside.
I remember how it felt to be in Ben’s arms while the storm raged and we simply … existed. It was something special, something unexpected. Something I could really get used to.
The talking and the kissing aren’t so bad either.
“Every time you come to Oakley, the two of you gravitate toward one another,” Lo says. “Everyone butyoususpected you’d eventually stop fighting and start kissing, so don’t go acting like this hasn’t been in the works for a long time.”
“Youallsuspected?” I ask. “Really?”
“He’s kind of perfect for you, Sade,” Merritt says. “And look, just because you say you want to have a relationship doesn’t mean you have to pack up your apartment in Atlanta right now. You aren’tthatfar away. You guys can do long distance for a bit. Figure stuff out. You can commit without uprooting anything at all.”
I drop my head back onto the cushions and think about their words. Logically, I know they’re right. And they should know because both of them did exactly what I’m so scared of doing myself. They uprooted their lives and relocated to Oakley to be with their husbands.
Except that isn’t how it really feels for either of them. Eloise came to Oakley because she was in the middle of a transition period after college. Something tells me she’d still be living here running the inn even if she hadn’t fallen in love with Jake. Jake is a bonus, but this island has clearly given her the life she was meant to have all along. And she didn’t have to give up on her dreams—she just finished her master’s in a low residency program.
