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“Was it about our baby?”
From the way Ari looked at me, he didn’t need to answer. I weaved my fingers through his and held his fist tightly between both of my hands.
“It was only a dream,” I told him, and I placed his hand on my belly. “She’s fine. She’s safe.” I felt the rapid drumbeat of his pulse through his palm.
“I’m sorry,” Ari grumbled, pulling his hand away.
“Maybe if you tell me about it, it might help,” I suggested.
I expected Ari to turn me away and close off like he always did, and I braced myself for the inevitable bite of disappointment. It was funny how even when I tried so hard to believe that I didn’t want to care how he felt, that it didn’t matter whether or not Ari opened himself to me, I still ended up feeling hurt.
“It’s nothing,” he said, and just before I was about to get up to go back to my bed, he added, “I’m just… I’m worried. I’m worried about what kind of father I’m going to be. I’m worried that I wasn’t made to be a good dad, and that all the worst things my father gave me are bound to me, no matter how hard I try to rid myself of them.”
Slowly, Ari took my hand back into his. “I dreamed about him. He was telling me that our daughter was to learn the T’Wanu healing arts and that I was going to teach her in the same way he taught me. And I tried to say no, that I wouldn’t do that. But the words wouldn’t come out. I couldn’t say it.”
“But you did,” I said. “Maybe you couldn’t in the dream, but I heard you, clear as the ocean.”
“I don’t want her to grow up the way I did, Istil,” Ari said.
“And she won’t, because you won’t let that happen. These dreams aren’t a premonition of the inevitable, they’re proof that you are not your father.”
I slipped my hand across his chest and wrapped my arms around him as I slid under the covers next to him. He hugged me as I nuzzled against his neck and took in long, slow draws of his scent.
“Breathe with me,” I said.
Ari pressed his face to my hair and matched my breath, his chest rising and falling like steady waves. His heart was finally slowing down.
“Perhaps you were right,” I said, looking up at him and brushing a strand of his dark hair away from his forehead. “It would be sensible to have only one bed.”
“There’d be more space,” he said. “More room for activities.”
“More room for her to play, until she’s old enough to venture into the forest.”
“Or the ocean.”
“You’re so sure about that, aren’t you? She’ll be drawn to the forest, I’m sure of it.”
“Hm. With how easily you took to the water, I’d say the sea dragon side has been having a tremendous effect on you. It must be a sign.”
“Is this your expertly trained opinion?” I asked.
“It’s my wish,” he replied as he drew me tighter against him and rested his hand against my stomach. “Because if she loves the sea, you’ll have less of a reason to leave.”
Even after everything Ari had just shared with me, I could never have expected to hear him say something like that. Until that moment, I’d only been able to guess at how he truly felt about me. I wished I could reassure him how things were going to go, but I couldn’t. Even though my feelings for him had deepened beyond expectation and my heart had come to settle on this island in the middle of the ocean, I was still Othos, and so was our baby.
Chapter16
Ari
Eli finished listening to Istil’s stomach with his scope and packed the device away into his travel bag.
“Everything seems fine to me,” he said. “Though, as I said, you probably have a better idea of what’s going on than I do, Ari.”
“Thank you, Eli,” Istil said, tying up his robe. “It’s comforting for me to have a trusted second opinion with how fast things are going.”
“The baby is developing quickly,” Eli said with a smile. “How much more time do you think, Ari?”
“Perhaps less than a month,” I said, leaning against the corner of my desk. “It’s difficult to say.”
