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“In any other world, I’d have gladly spent the rest of my life with you… But not in this one, I’m afraid.”
I suddenly push him away. “Why are you such a coward, Lasta? It’s like you don’t even want to try and fight for this. You’ll take the first excuse you get to run away and wash your hands of it. Of me.”
“It’s not an excuse! I’m still only one man, and what good is one soldier against an entire battalion?”
“But the Prince’s mate is a human woman.”
“Again, he is a royal figure. I can’t lead my men if they feel I’ve betrayed them.”
Being seen with me is a betrayal.
My throat closes up. All spirit to fight within me dissipates into nothingness. Lasta draws himself up, his voice becoming robotic.
“Report inside the castle. There, you will be assigned a new duty. Farewell, Krista, and thank you for everything.”
With that, he spins around and storms away, the rain becoming heavier with every step he takes. The wind picks up and knocks me to the ground.
Defeat causes me to wail out in emotional turmoil. I scream until my voice ceases to be. As I somehow gather the strength to get back on my feet, I peer down at my open hands.
What am I worth anymore? Nothing. Lasta won’t even fight for me. I am nothing but a drop of water in this downpour, insignificant and soon to be forgotten about.
I sink against the tree. Gone is the anger I had been feeling only moments ago. I try to get it back, desperate to rid myself of this sadness that plagues me.
Hard as I try, it evades me in the knowledge that Lasta is right to have done this. I understand why he’s done what he’s done, though right now I can’t tell if it makes things better or worse. It definitely doesn’t take any of the pain from the blow.
Reluctantly, I turn away and trudge into the castle, uneager to start the next chapter of my life.
A while later, I’m sitting in one of the palace’s many common rooms with none other than Princess Rory, listening mindlessly as she recounts a story from her past. I’ve been summoned here to learn more about this job Lasta promised to have me reassigned to, but little of the conversation seems to me about my duties.
“It was up there in that vent above us that Slyth and I discovered Vippera’s plot to have us all killed. How lucky I was to come out on top.”
“Yeah.” I force a strained smile. “The luckiest.”
“Anyway, I apologize for digressing. So, do you understand the requirements of your new role?”
“Perfectly clear,” I agree with a nod..
I glance over to her eight children, watching them as they play around and tumble with one another.
“Zalith and I try to spend a lot of the time with the children. I know you’d assume that around the clock childcare means otherwise, but eight is quite a lot. And we have royal responsibilities that often require our attention elsewhere, so having reliable childcare is simply a necessity so that we don’t have to worry about it. You’ll see that most of the time when you’re nannying, I won’t be far away.”
I smile. “Well, if that’s my duty, then you have every right to attend to whatever chores you like, Princess Aurora.”
“Oh, I suppose. Even with lots of help, it’s hard to let go. It’s not a sign of distrust or anything, of course. I just find myself always wondering what they’re up to. It’s like missing a piece of yourself when you’re away from them. When you’re a mother, you’ll understand.”
“Well, it won’t be happening to me anytime soon.”
“Oh,” mutters Aurora. “Sorry if I hit a nerve, I should have been more sensitive. Are you sure you’re alright to do this after breaking things off with Lasta?”
“Yeah,” I say, feigning a smile. “It is for the best. I’ve already gotten over him.”
“Well, let me or Lorelai know if you need anything. We women have to stick together, right?”
As she continues talking, I keep my gaze fixated on the kids. Through them, I see a vision of the future I can never have, where I’m raising children of my own with a loving husband in Lasta.
Maybe it turns out that happiness is something I’m never meant to have.
21
