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I sagged with relief. “Really?”
“Well.” Suzie shrugged. “I can’t say I’m thrilled that this has been going on for six freaking weeks and I’m only now finding out about it. That kind of sucks, Nora. I get that you don’t owe me details about your love life, because that’s private and no one’s business but your own. But come on. He’s my brother. A heads up would have been nice.”
All true.
“I thought…” I chose my words carefully. I wanted to be strictly truthful, but without making Suzie’s head explode. “Michael was only going to be here for a few months. I thought it would be better to tell you after he was gone. Less awkward. I didn’t want you to make a big deal out of it, because itwasn’ta big deal.”
“But he is staying,” Suzie said slowly. “I mean, he’s going to New Hampshire, but then he’s coming back to Hart’s Ridge and he’s staying for good. He told me yesterday that he’s taking the job Sofia offered him. So what are you trying to say? That itisa big deal?”
I opened my mouth and then shut it again. I gave Suzie a pleading look. “I don’t know how to talk about this with you.”
“Nora.” Her tone was a warning. Clearly she wasn’t about to let me off the hook.
I blew out a breath. “I like him a lot,” I said softly.
“You do?” Suzie wrinkled her nose. “You know he’s kind of irritating, as a person.”
I laughed. “I think he’s kind of wonderful.”
“Yeah, he’s that too.” She fiddled with the handle of her coffee mug. A frown puckered her forehead. “So he’s the first guy you’ve really dated since Grant.”
“I’ve—”
“You’ve slept with people,” she interrupted. “You haven’tdated. Michael is your first relationship since your very ugly divorce. Are you sure you’re ready for it?”
I wasn’t sure at all, as it so happened. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was going to screw it all up. But if the alternative was no Michael right now, well… “I’m ready to find out if I’m ready.”
“That’s not good enough, Nora. Not for Michael.” Finally Suzie met my eyes, her gaze sharp and direct. “My brother deserves better than being a test run. He’s already had his heart broken once.”
I sat there, feeling slapped, Suzie’s words hanging heavily in the air. “You mean he deserves better thanme,” I said flatly.
“No. I mean…” She leaned back in her chair with a grimace. “Good lord, Nora, your fear of any meaningful commitment is so strong it might as well be a stop sign painted on your forehead. And that scares me because you’reexactlywhat he deserves, and he’s what you deserve, too. Don’t let fear get in the way of being with someone you think is wonderful.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Mostly I didn’t want to make promises I couldn’t keep.
Suzie pulled the box of donuts closer to her and flipped open the lid. “Why aren’t we eating these? They’ve been sitting here in front of us for ten minutes now and we haven’t touched them. Crazy.”
She selected a maple-glazed donut and then pushed the box toward me. My appetite had fled but I grabbed an apple-cinnamon donut anyway. It still tasted good.
“Nora.” Suzie spoke around a mouthful of donut. “I’m really, really glad you’re with Michael.”
“Me, too.”
Which was true.
I just didn’t know how to make it last.
Chapter 24
Michael
“Areyousureyou’reready for this?” Sam asked. He paced the room with Andy nestled against his chest, patting his back in rhythm with his footsteps.
My chest clenched at the perfect picture of father-son bonding, but I focused on Carly’s hair, which I was trying to wrangle into a braid. It shouldn’t have been hard, but her hair was still baby fine and kept slipping through my fingers. “Yeah, I’m ready for it. The trouble is I can’t have it.”
Sam stopped pacing, looking stricken. “Effing eff. Sorry, man. I didn’t mean—”
“I know you didn’t. It’s fine.” It wasn’t fine, but I had to live with it anyway, so that’s what I was going to call it. It was a choice—mychoice, based on circumstances I had no control over, sure, but still. It was mychoice. Most of the time, I didn’t take that out on people around me. Today, apparently, I was in a fighting mood.
