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Sophie watched him as he spoke. His voice was even; he seemed so calm. Sophie felt her breathing deepen and her chest tighten as she empathised with what he must have been through.
‘That’s tragic,’ she said. Her voice caught in her throat as she said it, suddenly overcome with emotion.
‘It was an awful time, especially for Cassie. That’s why we moved away for a while. She just didn’t understand where her mum had disappeared to. It’s tough explaining that to a young child.’ Liam looked into his wine as he spoke, perhaps reliving a conversation or a moment between him and Cassie.
‘I’ll bet,’ Sophie said, placing a hand on his arm to comfort him. He reached for it with his own and stroked a thumb across the back of her hand. His reciprocation didn’t go unnoticed, except this time, Sophie didn’t feel the need to get out of there and run away.
‘Cassie was great, though. I don’t think I could have done it without her.’
‘Is that why you insist on driving me and everyone else everywhere?’
‘I don’t normally explain it, but yes. Emily skidded on ice she couldn’t even see. I hate to think of anyone I love driving unnecessarily.’ A loaded moment hung between them as Sophie realised what he had said, and she wondered whether he meant it. Was she someone that he loved?
‘But it was a long time ago now,’ Liam said, a little louder. He sat himself more upright to symbolise the change in mood. ‘I’m moving on, we’ve moved back here, I’m dating again. It’s what Emily would have wanted.’
Sophie smiled at him over her mug of wine.
‘And what about you?’ Liam said.
‘What about me?’
‘What about your past? Any hidden ghosts? You mentioned an ex before.’
Sophie hid her face behind a cushion and groaned.
‘Are you ready to move on?’ Liam said.
She put the cushion down and stared into her mulled wine. ‘It’s complicated,’ she said eventually. ‘I may never be ready to move on.’
Liam’s face turned serious. ‘That doesn’t sound too promising. Do you want to talk about it?’ he asked.
She regarded him for a moment while she considered what she did or didn’t want to share with this man. She didn’t know why, but she trusted him entirely and, for once, felt like she could share her story with him.
‘You may recall I’m not a fan of balloons,’ Sophie said.
‘Don’t remind me.’ Liam shook his head, embarrassed.
‘My ex, Jordan, brought balloons as a gift the very last time I saw him. We were planning to celebrate. I’d been for a scan that day and found out that I was having a little girl. We’d been excited before, of course. But knowing the sex had made things so much more real.’ Her voice grew shaky, and she paused to collect herself. Liam remained silent and listened to Sophie’s story.
‘I’d texted him to let him know the news, and he’d been out in his lunch hour to buy them. When I called an hour later, I told him he needed to get to the hospital. I was in pain and there was … I don’t need to go into all that.’ She paused and wiped a tear from her nose. ‘By the time he got to the hospital, it was all over. I’d lost her.’
A silence descended over the pair of them.
Sophie could still see Jordan turning up in the hospital suite, his face falling when he saw the state that Sophie was in and that the clear plastic cot alongside the bed was empty. They’d talked and cried, and when he’d left later that day, she’d never seen him properly again. She’d never found out whether it was the excuse he’d been looking for to get out of the relationship, or because he couldn’t stand the sight of her for failing so appallingly at being a mother.
Tears ran freely down Sophie’s face. Liam passed her a tissue, and she wiped them away.
‘I can’t believe he did that, that he’d leave you when …’
‘I’m glad he did now. If he couldn’t support me through a miscarriage, then he wouldn’t have been there for me for anything else. It was a lucky escape, I suppose,’ she said, sniffing.
‘God, Soph. I’m so sorry that happened to you,’ Liam said, shifting closer on the sofa to wrap his arms around her.
‘It was a long time ago,’ she said into his jumper.
‘That doesn’t mean anything.’ He released Sophie from his embrace. ‘Awful things happen and they affect us for ever. It doesn’t mean we can’t move forward, but it does mean that we’re changed by the past.’
She smiled and finished the last of her mulled wine, setting it down on the table and getting comfortable on the sofa again. ‘I guess you know why I was so pushy with the concert raising money for Mum’s charity now.’
