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‘Yes, but it’s nothing,’ Sophie protested. ‘Remember, he’s got a lot of baggage with past relationships. And, of course, a daughter who’s in my class. I don’t want to get involved in any of that and he’s probably not really in the place for it either.’ Sophie knew she wasn’t justifying it to Kate; she was trying to convince herself why starting something with Liam would be wrong – and that was just everything that he brought with him. She daren’t think about Jordan or how she was terrified that the same thing could happen again. Even the memory of the pain physically hurt her.
‘So, are you going to go?’ Kate asked.
‘I think I’d like to,’ Sophie admitted, despite her worries. ‘But only because I’ve got a lot to learn to be as good as Lulu would have been in the concert.’
‘And that’s the only reason,’ Kate said, downing the dregs of her tea and getting up to rinse her mug.
‘Yes. That’s the only reason,’ Sophie said decidedly.
Kate smirked. ‘Of course it is.’
The bell went and Kate put the rinsed mugs upside down on the draining board. ‘This conversation’s not over,’ she said, pointing a finger at Sophie in mock threat. ‘I’ve got to run to nativity rehearsal now. But we definitely need to catch up about this again before the weekend.’ She winked.
‘All right.’
Sophie decided she would think carefully from now on about what to share in the future. She liked the feeling of her having something secret and precious of her own.
She thought for a moment back to how things had ended with Jordan, how it had taken her months to recover – physically and emotionally. Could she really let herself get involved with someone again? But then, every time she had a wobble about her feelings for Liam, she thought about his kind heart, his hazel eyes … and suddenly the worries she had dissolved and she felt happy. It had been a long time since she’d let herself feel like this.
She glanced down at her phone again, like she’d done pretty regularly since Liam’s original text. But there was nothing. She felt deflated, but then remembered what the weekend might bring. The only problem was that he’d asked her to text him, to let him know, and the thought of it filled her with dread. She knew full well that the message, were she to send it, would have at least three rewrites and several edits. There were published books out there that would be less well written. Maybe she just wouldn’t go. She pushed the thought to the back of her mind and turned into her classroom, ready for the afternoon session, which seemed to last for ever.
When the bell went to signal the end of the school day, Sophie led her class out to the playground and watched as they found their families and ran off to go home with them.
‘Bye, Miss Lawson,’ shouted one boy as he whipped off across the yard.
‘Bye, Harry,’ Sophie said, waving behind him.
‘Bye, Miss,’ said another.
‘Thank you, Miss Lawson,’ said the mother, looking exhausted from having spent the day caring for her other two toddlers. Her hair was dishevelled, and she had a Peppa Pig sticker attached to the sleeve of her cardigan.
‘You’re welcome,’ Sophie said with a smile. ‘See you tomorrow, Tallulah.’
‘Miss Lawson?’ Cassie sidled up to her and tapped her on the arm.
Sophie looked down at her and smiled.
‘My dad’s over there,’ she said and pointed across the playground.
Liam leant on the fence, wrapped up in a dark jacket, scarf and hat. Sophie’s stomach flipped.
‘Off you go then.’
Cassie walked across the yard to where her father stood, waiting.
Liam looked up as Cassie arrived and caught Sophie’s eye. She held his eye contact for a moment and then smiled, looking down shyly as he held up a hand to give a slightly self-conscious wave. He wrapped his arms around Cassie, who seemed to be a bit happier than in recent weeks. Sophie thought for a moment too long about what it might feel like to have Liam Hawthorn’s arm around her own shoulders.
‘You guys,’ Kate said, rolling her eyes and breaking the moment.
‘You guys, nothing, Kate. There’s nothing to tell.’
Kate nodded, exaggerating her agreement. ‘Of course not.’
As they bickered, Liam made his way across the playground.
‘Miss Lawson,’ he said.
As usual, his use of her full name made her feel giddy. There was something so Regency about it.
