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‘Do you think …?’ Sophie said.
‘Almost certainly.’ Kate nodded emphatically.
Liam smiled to himself and hummed a Christmas tune as he walked across town to pick up Cassie from her friend’s house. He had to admit, Sophie wasn’t the only one who’d been thinking that way recently. After rehearsal on Tuesday night, Sophie had made her way into Liam’s thoughts more than once, and he found himself looking out for her now that he was going to pick Cassie up from school more regularly.
He’d not felt like this since Emily had died. And while Sophie’s presence in his life made him feel lighter somehow, it was always accompanied with a tightness in his chest from the guilt. Finding someone like Sophie was surprising and sudden, which might explain why he was so horrible to her nearly every time he saw her – self-preservation and all that.
He thought about how embarrassed she must be feeling right now, thinking he’d heard everything she and Kate had been saying about him – which, of course, he had. He could imagine her flushed cheeks and she’d be nibbling her perfect bottom lip like she did when she was nervous. But it was nice to know, although it saddened him that she thought he hated her. Now maybe he could just relax around her and see what happened, perhaps go out of his way to be nice to her once in a while. He was definitely interested. The thought surprised him.
Cassie came bounding down the garden path as Liam made his way towards the front door to knock.
‘Cassie,’ he said as she ran into his arms. He pulled her back from him to see her face was covered in tears, her eyes red and cheeks blotchy. ‘What’s wrong?’ Liam looked back along the path to see her friend’s mother standing at the door. ‘Jen, what happened?’ Liam stood and walked Cassie back towards the house.
‘I don’t know,’ Jen said. ‘One minute she was fine, and the next she was upset. Amy says that Cassie tried to take something from her but I don’t really know what’s happened.’
‘That’s a lie!’ Cassie said, the full force of her frustration coming out in a scream.
‘OK, OK, love,’ Liam said, stroking her hair. She shrugged him off. ‘What did Amy have that you wanted?’
‘You always side with everybody else!’ she screamed, running away from the house and sitting against the garden wall. She hid her head between her knees.
‘God, I’m so sorry, Jen,’ Liam said, running his hand over his stubble. ‘I don’t know what’s got into her recently. I’m really sorry if what Amy said is true. I’ll try to get to the bottom of it tonight. And if she’s taken anything, I’ll make sure Amy gets it back. Sorry.’
Liam didn’t get embarrassed very often, but he could feel his face getting hotter. He didn’t know what was worse, Jen thinking that Cassie was a thief or Jen thinking he was a terrible parent. At this rate, Jen would think both.
‘It’s no bother. They’ve been upstairs playing together fine until about five minutes ago. I would’ve phoned, but I knew you were on your way.’
‘Thanks,’ he mumbled, and she closed the door, heading back inside to deal with her own distraught daughter, he guessed.
‘What happened?’ he asked Cassie again as he rounded the gate to where Cassie was sitting with her head in her hands.
Cassie sniffed. ‘Nothing,’ she said. Then she got up and began walking towards home.
‘Come on, love, something must have happened for you to get so upset.’
‘It’s nothing, Dad.’ She quickened her step and walked slightly ahead of him.
‘Why can’t you talk to me?’ he snapped, his tone clipped and voice raised.
‘I don’t want to talk to you.’ Cassie matched his tone and quickened her pace.
Liam knew that was the end of the conversation. And so he just followed her home. Helpless.
When they arrived at the farmhouse, Cassie went in first, took off her shoes, and went straight upstairs. Liam heard her jump onto the bed and then stay there for a long time. He hated that he couldn’t do anything more. He knew she wasn’t going to speak to him about whatever had happened. And even if it was just a falling-out or she had tried to steal something like Jen had suggested, it saddened him to think that Cassie didn’t want to tell him or talk about it with him. What was he doing wrong as a father?
Sophie would know what to say. She would be able to get through to Cassie and he wondered whether working with her rather than against her on this one might help Cassie open up. Maybe he should apologise again and admit that, actually, she might be able to do something with Cassie that he couldn’t. God knows she needed a mother figure in her life. He loved his mum, and she did everything she could to support them, but it wasn’t the same.
His breath caught as he realised what he was thinking, and he made a silent apology to Emily.
When he checked on Cassie later, he found she had fallen asleep face down and fully clothed (another parenting fail, he thought). He’d not realised that as Cassie got older, parenting might become more difficult. Or rather, he had realised that; he had just been in denial and hadn’t realised it would become so hard so soon.
Chapter Twelve
Four weeks until Christmas
Sophie reread Kate’s text message:
Knackered after the check-up and final scan, so giving rehearsal a miss. Here’s a picture of peanut so you don’t hate me!
