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He was fucking there!
And dammit, I wanted to cry tears full of all my pain.
“Sit. Eat.” He pointed to the table and the pile of food sitting there. Pancakes and scrambled eggs. He grabbed the frying pan from the stove but paused when he turned back and found me still standing there.
Gesturing with the pan toward the table, he said, “It’s gonna get cold.”
There was no conscious decision on my part to move forward. One moment, I was standing in the middle of the kitchen. The next, I was seated and Lee was spooning breakfast sausage onto my plate.
“Didn’t have any bacon, so I hope this is okay.”
Okay?
It wasn’t. It wasn’t okay.
Lee turned back to the stove and I buried my face in my palms. This was too much. He was too much. Too good to me.
Even when he left me without a word last year.
Lee’s presence filled the air as he took a seat beside me. He didn’t say anything, just started in on his breakfast like I wasn’t coming apart in front of him. I couldn’t take his silence, couldn’t take this cold shoulder he was giving me—this man who had never shown me anything but care.
I wiped my eyes, then snagged my fork and shoved a piece of sausage into my mouth. I dumped syrup over my pancakes, then plopped back in my chair, my attention drawn to my silent breakfast companion.
Lee’s attention wasn’t on what I was doing—not the food on my plate nor the frazzled slump of my body. His eyes were locked on me, though. Right on the patch of skin exposed by the wide neck of my sweatshirt.
My cheeks flamed and I tugged the collar up, only for it to fall right back down.
“You cold?” Lee’s eyes met mine, and I swore they’d changed color. The pretty green I loved had turned so dark I hardly recognized them as his.
“I’m okay.” It was a lie, but I couldn’t tell him the truth. There was no way I could tell him that I couldn’t get my mind off him. That his gaze felt like the softest caress.
For a moment, I turned my attention to my breakfast, but despite how delicious it was, I had to force myself to swallow each bite. He didn’t have that problem. His plate was almost clean, and I was terrified about what that meant for me. That this was the end again. That once he finished, he would leave me like he did last year.
“You moved.” The words were an olive branch because I didn’t know what else to do. And when Lee didn’t answer immediately, I felt tears pool in the corners of my eyes.
“I did.” He drew away, looking down at his plate. “Both Bridgewater and my apartment.”
Apartment?
I hadn’t even considered that he lived somewhere else. Which was dumb, considering he wasn’t ever here when I showed up.
Not until last night.
“Is it nice?”
Something like a smile tugged at his lips, but it didn’t stick. “Got a bigger space. A gym. Break room.” His Adam’s apple took a slow ride down his throat and his eyes flashed to mine for a split second. “And an ice cream machine.”
A fuzzy haze covered my eyes as my entire body felt flooded with warmth. “You actually did it?”
He nodded, that smile pulled up one corner of his lips before it fell when he looked over at me. He reached out, swiping a tear from under my eye, and his hand lingered on my cheek. He looked me over like he used to, like if he tried hard enough he could figure me out and fix that broken part of me.
Then he dropped his hand, and the small amount of happiness I’d seen on his face ran away.
“Gets used a ton. Especially by Jen. All those pregnancy cravings.” I flinched, drawing in on myself, but if he noticed, he didn’t care. “Even in the middle of the fuckin’ winter, Joss is constantly buying new toppings and trying new things.”
“Joss?” I tried, wondering, once again, what I’d missed. “Is she your—” I couldn’t bring myself to say it, but it screamed inside my head.
Girlfriend?
